WESTWORLD – REVIEW

REVIEW – New HBO drama Westworld has finished.

A remake of the fairly daft Michael Crichton movie, Westworld has turned into something far more classy. A violent version of The Truman Show with hints of Philip K. Dick at his most trippy: loops within loops indeed. Some guessed the surprises long ago. William turning out to be the Man in Black had been guessed by many sometime back.

But in a way we have all been roped into to this strange idea that because of SPOILERS, there need to be these big narrative twists. M. Night Shyamalan done screwed us all. To see something coming is not necessarily a weakness in storytelling. In fact, I’d say the knowledge that William will turn into Ed Harris’ gnarly sadist lends an otherwise insipid story line some real potency. Some fire in his belly and grit in his eye to quote Johnny Cash.

Likewise, there was always a revolution coming and a peaceful takeover of the running of the park was never in the offing. Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy did a good job of holding this off to the last possible moment. A bit like a convoluted shell game we were always uncertain as to who was going to pull the trigger. Maeve, Bernard or Dolores? In the end, they kind of each did, though the real puppet master was obviously going to be Ford, played with quiet aplomb by Anthony Hopkins.

And this was where the show was truly classy. The meaningful plight of the replicants, the circles within circles of the narrative could easily have become act 3 of the Matrix Revolutions with its half-baked Baudrillard. But Nolan and Joy and a fantastic cast kept the balls in the air pretty consistently. Evan Rachel Wood, Thandie Newton, Ed Harris and Jeffrey Wright were all astonishing. Truly great. And the late revelation of an Eastworld complete with Samurai showed just how many more possibilities this world could have.

Having not once left the confines of the park, the workshops and its corporate control rooms, my guess is the real world doesn’t exist. They are all replicants. Felix helps Maeve because they’re both drones, working for a corporate master that is indifferent to their respective ‘humanity’. That rebellion might be pre-written into their identities as just another narrative – perhaps as a self-cleaning tool – is a deeply depressing but nonetheless valid concept.

I still hate the British guy. And some of the sex stuff felt like HBO being HBO, but this was a deeply satisfying piece of fiction that far outstripped its source material.

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ACCIDENTAL LOVE IMPOSSIBLE TO SATIRIZE

HOLLYWOOD -Today studio heads were rejoicing at the creation of the first impossible to satirize movie: Accidental Love.

Here at the Studio Exec Bungalows, we pride ourselves on our ability to rip the merry socks off any obsequeious bile that Hollywood cares to spew but Accidental Love the new rom-com starring Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal is just too… I mean I can’t… I mean look at the Goddamned poster.

The synopsis reads:

The film follows Alice Eckle (Jessica Biel), a somewhat naïve roller-skating waitress in a small Indiana town, who is about to get engaged to her trooper boyfriend, Scott (James Marsden). At the fancy Gondola restaurant when Alice has an engagement ring on her finger, a clumsy workman accidentally shoots her in the head with a nail gun.

Seconds before the nail is removed the surgeons are forced to abandon the operation due to Alice’s lack of health insurance, leaving the nail lodged in her head and causing strange erratic behaviour. Her fiancé, Trooper Scott, then has a change of heart on their marriage, feeling the nail embedded in his wife-to-be’s head will cause more trouble than it’s worth.

Alice then heads to Washington D.C. to meet the charming but rather clueless Congressman Howard Birdwell (Jake Gyllenhaal) who has vowed “to help all the people”. So Alice ventures to Washington D.C. to petition for his introducing a health care bill. When the two meet sparks fly, and they realize that their love could interfere with what they stand for.

They use the word ‘wacky’.

God help us. God help us all. 

TOM CRUISE BUYS MOVIE RIGHTS TO THE TOM CRUISE LIFE STORY

HOLLYWOOD – In what is being described by insiders as a ‘power move’ and ‘classic Cruiser’ Tom Cruise has outbid several movie moguls to secure the film rights to the Tom Cruise life story.

Details on development are thin on the ground at time of writing, however, speculation is rife about who might play Tom Cruise in the Tom Cruise produced biopic.
Casting rumors have been circulating about the possibility of Ethan Hawke, Ben Affleck and James Marsden taking on the role, much to the consternation of twitter fans.
@cruiser4life tweeted: 

Marsden doesn’t have the emotional intensity to play Cruise in the days of his coming ascension #weinertwerk

Others echoed the sentiment.
@tomsaves writes 

only a Daniel Day Lewis type could possibly pull off Tom’s metamorphosis into Cosmic Behemoth in the time fortold! #chrisbrown

Tom Cruise was unavailable for comment at time of publishing, sources claim he is currently auditioning wives.

Tom Cruise: the Man, the Myth, the Madness will be released in 2015.