HOLLYWOOD – Jaden Smith is to play Monkey in a Netflix produced remake of the cult Chinese TV show from the Eighties.
Jaden Smith is to take on the iconic role of Monkey in a Netflix remake of Monkey, the cult Chinese TV show. Jaden Smith told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
I am so excited about this. I mean Monkey has his own cloud and he’s got a stick. I’m going to use my kung fu/Karate skills which Jackie Chan taught me in The Karate Kid.
The original show was actually a Japanese TV production though based on a Chinese novel and largely filmed in Chinese locations. It followed the adventures of the mischievous Monkey God (Smith) who must travel to India with Pigsy (Jonah Hill) and Sandy (Owen Wilson) in order to retrieve some ancient scriptures.
I’m so excited to do this because of the spiritual quest and of course I get the chance to fly on a cloud.
Monkey will drop in 2017.
HOLLYWOOD – Will Smith today spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about how his mind was broken following the release of After Earth.
How’re you feeling today, Will Smith?
It’s my mind, Dave. It’s going. I can feel it. I can feel it.
When did this happen?
All my films must be number one for me to feel properly validated. And yet After Earth was so boring I fell asleep while I was making it. I would just drift through scenes. I was lying down a lot and I talk in my sleep so we managed to ADR a lot of the dialogue. I don’t know what happened. It’s not as if Hitch was this masterpiece. Or I am Legend for that matter. But After Earth… They abandoned me.
Who do you blame?
Squirrels mainly. Vicious little rodents. Why are they hiding the nuts? What’s so special about the nuts they need to hide them? When did they become so untrusting?
Oh and my son. He betrayed me. I thought Jaden could act, but the boy cannot act. He’s like a mini-me, but without me, just the mini. He said afterwards… this is very hard. He came up to me afterwards and said ‘I’m sorry dad, truly I am.’
Totally unconvincing. I didn’t believe it for a second and if he can’t sell it to me, how’s he going to sell it to them. The public, the audience. Jackie Chan said it best when he said ‘Get that little asshole away from me.’
So what’s next for Will Smith?
I can sing you a song ‘Daisy Daisy give me your answer do, I’m half crazy all for the love of you.’
That’s lovely. Um. Final question. Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re becoming a Scientologist?
Hey! I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid.
Will Smith will next be appearing in M. Night Shyamalan’s new film Ding Dong.
HOLLYWOOD – Warner Bros announced the popular internet game Minecraft is to get its own big screen adaptation and will star Tom Hanks, who is also named as a producer on the movie.
The sandbox indie game was created by Swedish programmer Markus ‘Notch’ Perrson and involves players building things and destroying stuff with blocks of things and stuff.
Tom Hanks spoke EXCLUSIVELY about the project:
I’ve been a huge fan of Minecraft ever since the first day it came out. I was there. Playing away solo and then multiplayering and then I even started doing little YouTube videos to explain how to build certain little things I was particularly proud of.
What is the film going to be like?
It will be a live action film. I play Enderman. I can teleport around the biomes and collect stuff to build. I’m protecting like this little village. But there is this Zombie and he’s King of the Spiders and he’s trying to knock my stuff down. So I have to go and find the magic elixir which will defeat him but when I do that I’m transported to the real world and here I might up with Jaden Smith who is like this star player of Minecraft and we have crazy adventures as I try to get back to my Biome and save the village from the attack of the Zombie king.
Really? Good. Because we were worried it might turn out really dull. You know. Video games and films. And Jesus, Jaden Smith!
Yeah, no, that bit I’d keep quiet about.
Minecraft will be released in 2016.
ATHENS – Famed ‘genius’ and ‘film’ ‘director’ M. Night Shyamalan is looking to rescue the twisted wreckage of his career after After Earth with a new project, which seeks to combine a commercially viable idea with his penchant for a certain trade mark narrative technique.
Following on from the massive success of Battleship and There Will Be Blood, Twister is the latest popular game (this time from MB Games) to get a big screen conversion and Shyamalan hopes that it will save him from twin dollops such as The Happening and The Last Airbender.
The game – which involves placing hands and feet (and in the Bangkok version sexual organs) on different colored circles at the whimsical behest of a spinning arrow controlled by a laughing idiot – does not immediately suggest a narrative, but Shyamalan is both optimistic and desperately unhappy.
I think this is a marriage made in heaven between my films and the game. On the one hand you have an inane, truly ridiculous series of contortions which will inevitably collapse to the sound of derisive laughter and on the other you have the game, Twister.
Twister will be released in 2015 and will star Will and Jandapus Smith.