HOLLYWOOD – Fans of movies everywhere breathed a sigh of relief as news arrived that Jackass star Johnny Knoxville has evaporated.

The evaporation of Johnny Knoxville took place last night in a private ceremony attended by some friends and family members. A witness told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about what went on in those fateful hours:

Johnny has been getting fainter and fainter and then it became obvious that he was just not going to retain his solid form. There was a hope that following The Last Stand with Arnold Schwarzenegger that Johnny would corner the market in the kind of crazy comedic roles a young Christopher Lloyd might have picked up. But when that became increasingly unlikely Johnny just became so steamed. And I mean that literally.

To say Johnny Knoxville was one of the finest actors of our generation would be a deliberate untruth. He first came to fame with the Jackass TV series which then became a movie franchise. More conventional film roles however garnered little in critical and commercial success, including a remake of Dukes of Hazzard which was called by all who saw it ‘an unwiped hole’.

Although rare evaporation is not unknown in Hollywood. Mickey Rooney evaporated in 1975 only to condense two years later and continue his career unharmed.

Johnny Knoxville will next be seen on a window pane or a cloud or a rainbow.