SIR EDWIN FLUFFER RECALLS JACK LEMMON

HOLLYWOOD – Sir Edwin Fluffer once again delves into his personal memoirs – soon to be published as ‘Not THAT Kind of Fluffer!!!’ – to recall the actor everyone called the ‘Matthau’s arse’: Jack Lemmon.

Barely a day goes by without someone congratulating me on my performance in The Odd Couple. I haven’t the heart to tell them it wasn’t me and so I don’t. It very nearly was me though, and would’ve been if it wasn’t for Walter Matthau.

He’d had the idea that we could reduce our not inconsiderable bar bill by drilling for gin in his back garden. No-one had ever tried it before, and after only a few attempts we found out why: it’s just impossible to find an extension cable that’ll reach from the plug socket in Wally’s kitchen out as far as the yard. 

We drove around every single hardware store in the Hollywood hills trying to find one, but it was a fruitless task. Much like Claudette Colbert if you know what I mean! 
In the end I cut the lead off his toaster and tried to attach that to the drill, but the resulting explosion caused me third degree burns and my best pair of eyebrows.  
It didn’t help that Walter tried to extinguish the flames with a bottle of rum that he won in a tombola. We were due to start filming the very next day, but after a brief chat with the producer we decided that it would be best all round if I went to hospital instead and dear old Jack Lemmon agreed to step in at the last minute. 
The Academy threatened to give him another Oscar for it, but he already had one in his shed left over from Mister Roberts.
Years later I bumped into Jack at a party and he very kindly passed me the Pringles.
But that’s another story…

GRUMPY OLD MEN REBOOT: FIRST LOOK

HOLLYWOOD – The new re-imagining of the Jack Lemmon/Walter Matthau classic Grumpy Old Men gets its first poster featuring stars Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington.

Famous for their more serious dramatic/action roles in films such as Malcolm X and Taken, Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington both expressed their delight at being involved in the Grumpy Old Men remake.

They spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec.

So what attracted you to the project?

Liam Neeson: We’ve both done remakes in the past. I’ve done The A-Team and Denzel did The Equalizer and…

Denzel Washington: The Taking of Pelham 123.

LN: Right. But we don’t get much opportunity to do comedy. People look at us killing people in our films and they don’t connect that with comedy for some reason.

DW: Cameron Crowe has been trying to get a remake of the film off the ground for years and the script has been circulating. I was looking for something to do with Liam because I’ve admired him as an actor ever since I saw Krull.

LN: For me, I became a big Denzel fan after watching Ricochet. That was one hell of a movie. I pointed at the screen and said ‘I want to do that’.

How did you divide the roles?

DW: Liam was already attached to play John Gufstafson, which was Lemmon’s role. But that was perfect for me because I’ve always seen myself more as a Walter Matthau man. I’ve got the same hangdog looks.  So I took to the role of Max really well.

LN: When I was re-watching the original I noticed that John was kind of a handy man and I thought, I too have a particular set of skills. And so that made my mind up really.

How will the new film differ from the old film?

DW: No one wants to see a carbon copy. What’s the point of that?

LN: Right. In the original, John and Max are both basically bitter old men arguing about the affections of an attractive neighbor Ariel. They spy on each other and try to sabotage each other’s plans.

DW: In our version I’m ex-CIA.

LN: And I’m ex-Secret Service.

DW: And we both love Ariel, playing by Melanie Griffith.

LN: But terrorists have kidnapped her.

DW: We need to forget our differences and team up to kill the terrorists, evade the police commanded (as ever) by Forest Whitaker and save Ariel.

Wow. It doesn’t sound like a funny premise.

LN: Funny? Why on earth would it have to be funny?

Because it’s a comedy.

DW: Comedies don’t have to be funny.

LN: Look at This Means War.

Yes, but...

DW: Or anything with Vince Vaughn in.

LN: He’s made hundreds of comedies and not once have I laughed.

DW: Good point Liam.

LN: Thanks Denzel.

Grumpy Old Men will be in cinemas in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor

FLUFFER TOPS SLY STALLONE









When bright young actors ask how on earth I’ve survived in Hollywood for quite so long I give them this simple answer: versatility. Having no principles and an agent who’d quite happily cut not only his mother’s throat but also the throats of any other person within a 15 yard radius also helps, but if the studio system taught me anything it was versatility.

One day I could be starring as a dashing young surgeon saving lives and making unwanted advances toward the receptionist, the next day I’d be a dashing young veterinarian, saving lives and making unwanted advances toward the receptionist. But through it all I insisted on wearing full evening dress and more often than not a top hat. One simply must have standards. 


Some of the more ‘artistic’ directors I worked with felt it wasn’t quite right if I was playing an astronaut for example, or a deep sea diver, but I’d just wait until they turned their backs and pop it back on again. In the end it became a bit of a trademark and audiences would look out for me riding a chariot in Ben Hur, fresh carnation in the buttonhole, my coat tails flapping in the breeze. 
The only man who really took against my dress sense was Sylvester Stallone, and this was largely due to jealousy. When I turned up on the set of Rocky wearing the old penguin suit Sly was furious! He was determined to play the fight scenes in a dress suit with matching bow tie, and I’d beaten him to it! ‘Eurrughurrugh’ he said, which was hugely embarrassing for all of us, especially as his dear mother was present.
‘What’s the matter Sly?’ I asked. 
‘Euurrugheurrrrughueeur’ he said! 
Well! No-one speaks to Sir Edwin Fluffer like that, not even Julie Andrews and she swore like a sailor! There was a frank exchange of views and I’m afraid to say that things got a little out of hand, Sly gave me a playful shove, and I had to spend the next three weeks in hospital. 
Of course my part had to be re-cast and Burgess Meredith played it in a rather shabby track suit. It’s my opinion that if he’d combed his hair and put on a decent pair of slacks he would’ve won an Academy Award, but the voters don’t care for slovenliness and neither do I. 
At the ceremony dear Jack Lemmon was sick in my topper and I had to rinse it out under the cold tap before I could present the Oscar for Best Art Direction. But that’s another story…