JUDD APATOW SECURES MOVIE RIGHTS TO FIRE AND FURY: INSIDE THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE

HOLLYWOOD – Movie rights of Michael Wolff’s bestselling book Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House have been sold to Judd Apatow.

Judd Apatow today confirmed that he has bought the rights to Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. The book has topped best seller lists all over and has rocked the political world. Apatow spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the movie version:

It was a no-brainer that this was going to be a great film. Aside from the palace intrigue and the thousands of great moments that are packed into Michael’s book, it is also a flat out comedy. It turns out that we can do a gross out comedy in the style of Dirty Grandpa and it still be the most politically astute portrait of our times.

Who will play the role of Donald Trump?

Again a no-brainer! Alec Baldwin has essentially been auditioning for this movie, even before the movie existed. Other roles are going to be more challenging to fill. We don’t necessarily want to go completely Saturday Night Live. After all, this is also supposed to be a realistic account of what happens inside the corridors of power and we need to make that credible.

So who’ve you got?

We want the guy whose head melts in Raiders of the Lost Ark to play Stephen Miller and for KellyAnne Conway we’re looking for the Jim Henson workshop to give us something. We were modelling it on a Fraggle. Steve Bannon is a major character – Mel Gibson is a little old, but for sheer insanity James Woods would be perfect. Jared Kushner and Ivanka are going to be played by Sasha Baron Cohen in one of those half and half costumes, so that viewed in one profile he’ll be Jared and then he’ll turn around and he’ll be Ivanka.

Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House will be released in 2019.

JABBA THE HUTT ACCUSED OF SEX CRIMES

HOLLYWOOD – Social media was in shock this morning after Jabba the Hut was accused of sex crimes.

The Studio Exec caught up with Jabba to discuss the allegations.

Jabba. How could you?

Jabba innocent.

Don’t lie, Jabba. Two sand people and a wookie have come forward to say you acted inappropriately during a party. That can’t be a coincidence.

Jabba doesn’t know these people.

Oh yeah? And what about Princess Leia, Jabba. We’ve got photos and video footage of you with her chained up being forced to wear a gold bikini. They’re all over the internet. How do you explain that?

Jabba old. Not remember.

Not remember ? Bullshit. The rebels have searched your hard drive. They’ve found those pictures of Jawas. You’re going to prison, Jabba.

Jabba want to speak to his lawyer.

Netflix has cancelled Jabba’s upcoming stand up special.

 

TERRENCE MALICK CONFIRMS STAR WARS ANTHOLOGY ‘JABBA’

HOLLYWOOD – Cult director Terrence Malick has confirmed that he will be directing a Star Wars Anthology movie, entitled simply: Jabba.

The reclusive director of The Tree of Life and To the Wonder, Terrence Malick will direct a new Star Wars spin off movie based on the early life of Jabba the Hutt entitled simply Jabba. Very little is known of the movie, but the Studio Exec was able to talk to the notoriously shy director.

This is what he said:

I’ve always been fascinated by the desert. One of my favorite films is Lawrence of Arabia, so when Kathleen [Kennedy] telephoned and said they were wondering if I’d be interested in doing anything in the Star Wars universe, I said straight away yes, but it would have to be set on Tattooine and the character I would be most interested in would be Jabba the Hutt.

Why Jabba the Hutt?

I’ve always been interested in the way a soul that is so capable of joy and glory, becomes also capable strangely of destruction and wickedness. Watching Return of the Jedi, I always thought that Jabba was capable of appreciating beauty, but at the same time his own ugliness made him destroy that beauty. His tragedy was that he could appreciate the lithe beauty of the dancing girl and slave Leia, but he could never truly reach them. His was forever a yearning without any real chance of contact. And that was the root of his violence.

I see. 

I think it was Schopenhauer who said that life is divided between desire and boredom and in a nutshell that is Jabba’s dilemma. But in the new film we’ll see a young Jabba, a young creature with a dominant strict and somewhat distant father, and a beautiful dancing girl mother who represents grace and nature. It will be her early death in the maw of the Rancor that will scar the young Jabba forever and force him into believing that the toothed vagina of the Sarlacc Pit is the reality of love.

How will the film be stylistically?

Emmanuel Lubezki is very enthusiastic to be on board, so might beautiful photography. The Magic Hour will look gorgeous with the sand. You think of the best part of Episode IV, it was Luke gazing at the two setting suns. So we have more magic hour! We’ll have lots of voice-over. And Rachel Weisz will get cut out of the final movie again.

Who is going to play Jabba?

I know you want me to say Jonah Hill or Kevin James, just for the easy laugh. Am I right?

Okay, who will it be?

Jonah Hill. Definitely.

Jabba will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.