SPIKE LEE: LEGO MOVIE RACIST

NEW YORK – Oldboy director Spike Lee has lashed out at the new box office sensation and critical darling Phil Lord and Christopher Miller’s The Lego Movie, claiming that it’s ‘racist, or something’.

In a seventeen minute rant, the veteran director of Inside Man, repeatedly claimed the film ‘had not been directed by me and therefore could not be thought of in any way good.’  

These guys, I mean who are they? Lego are Danish, right? And Danes were like blond haired and blue eyed and who else were blond haired and blue eyed? That’s right Nazis! The Lego Movie is actually a remake of Triumph of the Will.

The audience at the 3.45 showing of The Lego Movie at first seemed bemused by the famous motormouth’s unannounced introduction to the film. One witness, Timmy (aged 7) said:

The scary man was shouting and raving about how his film was neglected while we all wanted to see films about toys and didn’t watch serious drama. He asked me why I hadn’t been to see Oldboy and when I told him it was because I felt it was redundant having already seen the Chan Wook Park original, he got real mad.   

After a while, witnesses said that Mr. Lee apparently ran out of steam and collapsed into his chair and the film was able to resume. Some said they heard the director sobbing quietly.

The Sweet Blood of Jesus will be released in 2016. 

AN APOLOGY TO SPIKE LEE

NEW YORK – Today Studio Exec caused egregious offence and possibly super Red Hook Horror to the film maker, hat model, and visionary Spike Lee (For that Story See Here), by writing a story about how he had criticised Lee Daniels’ Lee Daniels’ The Butler (FOR THAT STORY READ HERE) and we are so sorry.

Pretty much none of it was true. Though the way Spike Lee went at us … but none of it was true.

We wish… no wait, I … me, the Studio Exec wholeheartedly wish to say sorry. 
And in no way do I want this to be jokey and ironic and stupid. 
This is serious. 
I upset the man who made Do the Right Thing, so I want to do the right thing. 
I disturbed the man who made She’s Gotta Have It and Malcolm X, and I don’t want to wait until The 25th Hour before I… oh wait did you see what I did there? 
Anyway…
In my defence Spike did make Inside Man and Miracle at St. Anna, and even as he complained about having words put in his mouth, the Italian partisans slandered in that… no wait, that’s not the point. What I discovered today was the man who made Bamboozled has not as broad a sense of humour as I had anticipated, so I’m sorry and I swear to God I will never take his name in vain again. The most original film maker working in America today. 

His remake of Old Boy is released in November, 2013.