SDCC MCU SUPERVILLAIN SURPRISE

BREAKING NEWS – There was a SDCC MCU supervillain surprise at this year’s comic-con when Kevin Feige announced the supervillain for the upcoming Avengers movie, The Kang Dynasty. In a departure from what many expected, Marvel are going with a different Kang. The Exec caught up with Kevin Feige after announcing the SDCC MCU supervillain surprise.

Kevin, That Sure Was A SDCC MCU Supervillain Surprise

I know, right! We thought we could really blow people away with that one. I was sat in a campaign meeting, deciding on where we would take our flagship franchise. We’d been snorting a few lines of Horse when it came to me. KANG!

Were All The Other Disney and Marvel Executives On Board?

Not right away. They got all excited, thinking it was gonna be the Kang The Conqueror story line. I had to calm them all down. So we all smoked some really good Super Skunk and listed to Tom Petty for an hour or so. Then, I laid it on them. We’re doing a Simpsons crossover movie, with Kang and Kodos finally making good on their threat to invade Earth. How awesome would that be?!

Just out Of Curiosity, How Did The Other Board Members React?

Their jaws hit the floor. I don’t think they could believe what they were hearing.

I Can Imagine.

They fucking loved it man. Just like they love every single one of my ideas. Like casting Edward Norton as The Hulk. They all loved that. And then they all loved it when I recast him. And like the time I put that shitty clause in Scarlett Johansson’s contract. They all thought that was great. The board especially loved it when I told them we were making an Eternals movie. Oh my, how they loved that. And they love this. Totally, totally in love with the idea. Totally. Yeah, totally.

Are You Sure This Is In Keeping With The Universe You’ve Spent Years Building?

Look, just shut up and have a line. You’ll come to see things my way. Everyone comes to see things my way, after enough of this shit.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe Will Never End. Ever.

MARVEL BUY ROMANIA FOR FUTURE DESTRUCTION

HOLLYWOOD – Marvel have bought the European country of Romania in a deal worth $57 million and have slated the country for destruction some time in 2018.

Following the destruction of Sokovia in Avengers: Age of Ultron, Marvel have been on the look out for a new country to destroy in the hope of recreating the success of the Avengers film. A Marvel Studios insider spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about how they zeroed in on Romania:

The destruction of Sokovia everyone agreed was a huge success. Yes we destroyed the country, but every single citizen of Sokovia was given a Blu-ray DVD of the Avengers and DVD of Captain America: Winter Soldier, so you can’t say fairer than that. The one problem was that it was quite expensive for us to do and the money was mainly wasted in retrospect. All the different permits and permissions we needed and then the tax breaks weren’t quite as inviting as we thought they would be.

I see.

The solution though was fairly simple. If we owned a country outright then we could pretty much do what we wanted with it. We originally thought of Lichtenstein, which is very small and manageable, but Tom Cruise already owns it and doesn’t want to sell. Then we thought of Great Britain. It’s got to be good, right? It’s in the name. But they’ve had a really bad experience with London Has Fallen and they don’t even want to talk. They’re still putting Big Ben back up.

So Romania?

Yeah. Romania was our Goldilocks moment. Just right. $57 million is on the low side I feel. I mean we paid that much for catering on Iron Man 3 and that was just Gwyneth Paltrow.

When can we expected to see Romania destroyed?

I think we’ll destroy it over a series of films, but I would like the new Doctor Strange movie to have the destruction of Romania, maybe not even as a conclusion, but a pre-credit sequence.

And the people of Romania?

Well, there’s a huge refugee crisis in Europe as you know. So we’ll just get those people to join that but they’ll all be wearing brand new Thor baseball caps and carrying copies of the Captain America: Civil War novelization in their new  Incredible Hulk fanny packs.

Doctor Strange will be released in 2018.