BRENDAN GLEESON ‘NO MORE BIT PARTS’

HOLLYWOOD – Irish character actor Brendan Gleeson today said that he would only be accepting scripts where he has the starring role.

Brendan Gleeson – to be seen in Ron Howard’s latest In the Heart of the Sea – has announced that he will no longer be considering bit parts in movies.

He came by the Studio Exec bungalow to get some stuff off his chest.

You know Exec, I’ve been in this game a long while. All the way back to The Field in 1990. And since then I’ve racked up a healthy number on the old IMDb there. About seventy feature films in all and a shit tonne of telly as well. But the thing is the vast majority of those films, I’m just a bit part. I have a speaking role of course and I get to do my stuff but mostly there’s some other tall shite hogging the scenes, getting all the lasses and making off with the loot.

That’s terrible.

I know. At first I didn’t mind so much. I was happy to that there Hollywood. Swimming pools, movie stars, you know how it is. The work was good and I was usually done in a week or two. But I’m always Mel Gibson’s fat mate, or Tom Cruise’s superior officer, or one of Harry Potter’s teachers. I even got cuckolded by that thin glass of water Orlando Bloom in Troy.

I remember.

And I wanted to be doing more. I got a chance in The General and I really enjoyed it and again with The Guard and Calvary. But these parts were far and few between. So now I’ve just decided, feck it. I want to be a proper movie star and that’s that.

But you’re a really respected character actor.

I am so. And I know that. But my old mate Tom Wilkinson came over the other Saturday and we got to talking because he basically has the same problem. If anything it’s worse for him because I get the scripts first and he can only do those I don’t want to. Anyway Tom was saying ‘you’re a great actor big man. You should be going for the leading man roles more, so you should’ and I thought, he’s not wrong. At first, I was reluctant. ‘What about all the small parts, the villains and what not that they want me to play?’ but Tom said he’d take those on and not to worry a lick.

Brendan Gleeson will next be appearing in Bond 25.

MOBY DICK FILM ABOUT MOBY DICK NOT MOBY DICK

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard’s new Moby Dick film based on the true events that inspired Moby Dick isn’t called Moby Dick.

In the Heart of the Sea, Ron Howard’s new Moby Dick movie, isn’t based on the Herman Melville novel Moby Dick (or The Whale), but instead is based on Nathaniel Philbrick’s non-fiction book In the Heart of the Sea, which revealed the true story on which Melville based his classic big American novel.

We spoke to Ron Howard on the USS Exec off the Nantucket Sound.

So Ron this is a film about Moby Dick?

Yes. And no.

How so?

We are looking at the true origin story of the novel if you like. Herman Melville is played by Ben Whishaw and he listen to a story told by Brendan Gleeson about a whale hunt he witnessed as a young man. So we follow the hunt and all the adventures which ensues. Chris Hemsworth is the harpooner and so on.

So the story is an origin story?

Yes. But not of Moby Dick the whale. It’s an origin story of the novel Moby Dick.

Couldn’t you just do a film of Moby Dick?

We thought about that but there have been several. And plus the actual book Moby Dick isn’t actually that good. Everyone knows the story and so there are a lot of problems. I mean the book would be full of spoilers for instance.

I see. 

Good. So when we looked at the real story of what happened, what amazed me was how much better I could do a job of telling the story of what happened than Herman Melville. And so that’s what I decided to do. Also these days, calling a film Moby Dick, you’re basically asking them to make a porn parody of it.

In the Heart of the Sea is in cinemas.

 

‘CHRIS HEMSWORTH SMELLS OF BASKETS’, SAYS RON HOWARD

HOLLYWOOD – Shocking news just in today that Thor the God of Thunder and James Hunt the star of Rush, Chris Hemsworth smells of baskets. And not good ones.

Chris Hemsworth is the elder member of a family of beefcake, that also includes Lawrence bait, Liam Hemsworth, who are currently plying their trade in the motion picture industry. Young Hemsworth has made something of a name for himself with performances as Thor in Thor and racing car driver James Rush in Rush as well as the eponymous Hat in the Michael Mann film no one went to see Black Hat. But today it was revealed to the world via an anonymous source that the hunky star with the ability to play it for laughs has a very distinct odor.

Ron Howard dropped by the Studio Exec bungalow to lay the lowdown on us wearing a heavy disguise as an old Richie Cunningham.

He smells of baskets. And not good fresh baskets either. Flower baskets, or baskets full of toys. No. The kind of baskets that have been used to catch crabs for generations and then have been left in the corner of the dockyard warehouse for like three years, until they’re covered in a strange black algae.

Urgh!

Exactly. And on the set everyone is going ‘Phew! Who cut the cheese?’ But then someone else, I think it was Cillian Murphy, said, ‘It doesn’t smell like cheese, or farts. It smells like baskets.’

How was it directing him In The Heart of the Sea?

I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m not Ron Howard. Ron Howard is the director of In the Heart of The Sea. I’m not he.

By the way you’re making a film about events that inspired Moby Dick.

Yes. That’s to say, Ron Howard is.

Why not just make a version of Moby Dick?

Chris Hemsworth smells of baskets, baskets, baskets.

In the Heart of the Sea will be in cinemas next month.