CASEY AFFLECK’S BEARD FILES FOR DIVORCE

HOLLYWOOD – Casey Affleck’s beard has filed a petition of divorce.

Manchester by the Sea star and Oscar winner Casey Affleck and his beard are to separate after only a year together. The Beard told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I love Casey very much. And I wish him every success in the future. But I cannot be a part of the hypocrisy anymore.  Casey needs to grow up a little and change his way of treating both people and facial hair. I’m mostly concerned with facial hair, but that’s my bad.

The relationship has always been a tumultuous one. Casey first met Beard when working on the documentary with Joaquin Phoenix.

Joaquin and I were very attached but when we premiered the film at the Venice Film Festival suddenly he wanted to appear everywhere clean-shaven. I was very hurt. I was cut up. Literally. And Casey, who was going through drama of his own, was a shoulder to cry on and a chin to hang from. I’ll always be grateful for that. But at the same time I won’t miss the crumbs.

Casey Affleck was unavailable to comment.

AFTER PHOENIX: NEW OSCAR AWARD ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – In response to comments made by actor Joaquin Phoenix, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has issued a press release announcing a new award to be presented exclusively at the 2013 edition of the ceremony. The Fuck You Joaquin Phoenix Award will be given to every single male actor who made a major motion picture appearance in a leading role, with one predictable exception.


Asked if the award wasn’t just a smidgen vindictive, Lionel Khrist the Academy spokesperson said, ‘Fuck yeah. He should learn the actors are there to walk around look pretty and keep their goddam cakeholes shut. Jesus, even when they win awards we try to hurry them the fuck up and get them off stage before they do something silly.’

The award is rumored to include a removable beard and sunglasses. Mr. Phoenix – who is no stranger to controversy following a stunt film I’m Still Here – made disparaging remarks for an award was being tipped to win for his role in Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master. Speaking exclusively to Studio Exec about the new award, Phoenix, or the Baddie from Gladiator (as he prefers to be known), seemed confused, slurring his words and saying, ‘It makes no sense. Is this a joke?’

For more on this story and more like it please follow @studioexec1 on Twitter or find and like our page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StudioExec

AFTER PHOENIX: NEW OSCAR AWARD ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – In response to comments made by actor Joaquin Phoenix, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has issued a press release announcing a new award to be presented exclusively at the 2013 edition of the ceremony. The Fuck You Joaquin Phoenix Award will be given to every single male actor who made a major motion picture appearance in a leading role, with one predictable exception.


Asked if the award wasn’t just a smidgen vindictive, Lionel Khrist the Academy spokesperson said, ‘Fuck yeah. He should learn the actors are there to walk around look pretty and keep their goddam cakeholes shut. Jesus, even when they win awards we try to hurry them the fuck up and get them off stage before they do something silly.’

The award is rumored to include a removable beard and sunglasses. Mr. Phoenix – who is no stranger to controversy following a stunt film I’m Still Here – made disparaging remarks for an award was being tipped to win for his role in Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master. Speaking exclusively to Studio Exec about the new award, Phoenix, or the Baddie from Gladiator (as he prefers to be known), seemed confused, slurring his words and saying, ‘It makes no sense. Is this a joke?’

For more on this story and more like it please follow @studioexec1 on Twitter or find and like our page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StudioExec