Nice weather for it

HOLLYWOOD – To celebrate the imminent end of days as predicted by idiots Studio Exec offers this definitive (I suppose) guide to end of world movies. Enjoy it while it lasts.

5. I am Legend

Billiam Smith furrows his brow and looks all serious because he’s surviving in New York and having to fight horribly unrealistic CGI vampire zombie stuff because brain box Nanny McPhee tried to cure cancer and accidentally (oops) destroyed the world’s population. Smith is having the time of his life tooling around New York in a sports car (no traffic), hunting gazelles, playing golf off of aircraft carriers and claiming Legend: The Greatest Hits is the best Bob Marley album ever. Wife and sprog happily dead, Smithster only gets truly miffed when his dog is rather unfairly bitten and he has to do as Hitler did and kill his own dog. See also A Boy and his Dog, Last Man on Earth and Omega Man.

4.  Armageddon

Who knows? This film had Ben Affleck in it and was directed by Michael Bay, which is Latin for don’t go and see this fucking movie. Arwen turns up. That’s all I know.

3. The Road

Aragorn and the boy with the vampire friend wander around Canada and the outskirts of Detroit while trees fall down around them. There are cannibals about as well, but everything turns out okay when Mike from Neighbors turns up with his Ikea family and (good news) he’s brought a dog. This film is exactly 1 minute 45 seconds too long.

2. Take Shelter

Under rated work of immense interest. Michael Shannon plays a troubled father who is plagued by visions of the end of the world. Is he struggling with a descent into delusion, or is he a prophet foreseeing a genuine apocalypse. Films about the end of the world do seem to have trouble ending, other than that, recommended.

1. Dr Strangelove

Masterpiece of comic darkness and arguably Kubrick’s best film. Peter Sellers is at his best playing the American president (with a slight Gene Wilder accent though sans hair), a British RAF officer and the titular ex-Nazi scientist. The world not only ends but is utterly deserving of it, given the madness and venality of all involved. You’ll laugh but by God it’ll hurt.