5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT DAVID FINCHER

HOLLYWOOD – Gone Girl director David Fincher is one of the few American film makers who seems able to work in the mainstream, make some fairly dreadful movies (Panic Room, Benjamin Button), some fairly good ones (Fight Club, Se7en), and still inspire respect in the critical community.

Our FACT squad descended on the Fight Club director likes a pack of starving rats and stripped his bones clean of all fact tissue, quite literally. 

1. Despite including a specific rule in the film, everyone talks about Fight Club, which infuriates David Fincher, who is a stickler for rules. 

2. David Fincher got his first job in the cinema as a special effect supervisor on Return of the Jedi. Anyone watching the film closely can spot his cameo as the Rancor Keeper, Malakili. His acting skills attracted so much attention that Lucas suggested he pursue acting as a possible career. Fincher lost weight especially but in the end no one wanted him, because Lucas was wrong and Fincher was actually a crap actor. 

3. When making Se7en, Fincher tried to murder someone in order ‘to get the feel’. However, he hurt his hand and was quickly overpowered. 

4. Although nominated for an Oscar for The Social Network, David Fincher prefers MySpace.  

5. The Game that Michael Douglas plays in The Game is actually based on a version of Cluedo, but with all the rules changed to avoid copyright issues.

For more FACTS click HERE.

SCRIPT LEAK: HOUSE OF CARDS FINAL SEASON

HOLLYWOOD – House of Cards final season has been confirmed, but they’ve had a script leak.

The final season of House of Cards is to go ahead, starring Robin Wright. The Studio Exec has received a leaked copy of the first episode.

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

Claire UNDERWOOD sits at the desk. Enter Doug STAMPER.

DOUG

Mrs Underwood.

CLAIRE

When is President Underwood due back from the totally normal trade talks he went to?

DOUG

Any minute now. Actually that sounds like him now.

SOUND of Helicopter ROTOR BLADES overhead.

EXT. ROSE GARDEN. DAY.

Claire and Doug go outside as the President’s helicopter comes in to land. The helicopter suddenly EXPLODES.

CLAIRE

Oh no. Francis’ helicopter just exploded, probably definitely killing him.

DOUG

There won’t be anything left of him.

CLAIRE

Not even a contractually obligatory Exec Producer credit.

They return into the Oval Office.

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

A young woman stands waiting for them.

CARRIE

Hello Madam President.

CLAIRE

Who are you?

CARRIE

I’m Carrie Mathison from Homeland. I’m here to begin a cat and mouse intrigue with sleeper agent Doug Stamper.

CLAIRE

Doug? I thought I was the sleeper agent.

CARRIE

Gotcha.

CLAIRE

Rats!

 

 

FINE

For more Script Leaks, Click Here. 

ADAM SANDLER TO STAR IN SEASON 4 OF HOUSE OF CARDS

HOLLYWOOD – A hidden clause in his new Netflix deal means Adam Sandler is to replace Kevin Spacey in season 4 of the hit show ‘House of Cards’

Netflix boss Reed Hastings announced the deal very quickly and quietly at the end of his press conference, in the same super-speedy way car insurance adverts deliver the small print of the contract:

‘Oh yeah and Adam is going to be taking over for Kevin Spacey in House of Cards 4. We’re all thrilled,’ he said.

It is understood that Mr. Sandler has been a fan of Kevin Spacey for some time and has been heard many times to exclaim, ‘Why don’t people take me seriously as an actor?’

Mr. Sandler telephoned Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY to explain his motivation:

I am a fantastic actor when I get the right material, and ‘House of Cards’ contains some of the sharpest dramatic writing of recent years. I can’t wait to get my tongue around some of that snappy dialogue.

So this is what you really want to do?

Absolutely—all that other stuff, the film stuff, that was just my way in. A pretty Underwood way of doing things, I think you’ll agree.

Yes.

And because of my experience in comedy, especially with the film ‘Jack and Jill,’ I am a versatile enough performer to play not only the part of Frank Underwood, but also the part of his wife Claire, previously played by Robin Wright.

Fans of the show are dying by the thousands as they decide life is simply not worth living in light of the news, but Netflix has been quick to point out that rival HBO began the trend when they hired Vince f*cking Vaughn to star in ‘True Detective.’

House of Cards 4 will premiere in early 2016.

DAVID FINCHER PLANS EASTENDERS FOR HBO

 LONDON – David Fincher‘s relentless pursuit of good ideas, no matter where it takes him, continues with the announcement that his production company has bought the rights to British soap opera EastEnders which he will convert into a 13 part HBO series with a big name cast.

Following on from the success of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and House of Cards, Fincher has been channel surfing when not sending his winged monkeys to Scandinavia with their large sticky nets. Although originally in a bidding war with ABC for Coronation Street, Fincher finally succeeded in securing the rights to EastEnders and promised a top quality adult themed drama with top end star power and high production values.

‘It’ll be like Desperate Housewives,’ said Mr. Panic Room. ‘But the house wives will be British, have bad teeth and be really desperate. Like Desperately Sad Housewives. Hey you know Chico, write that down.’

Jude Law has already been cast as Dirty Den, and says he’s delighted and has perfected his German accent especially. Julianne Moore is in talks to play Angie and Tom Hiddleston will play carrot top Ian.

Five things to know about the BBC’s EastEnders.


  1. It’s set in London but not in the West End of London, nor the North, nor the South, but the East End.
  2. Traditionally EastEnders is thoroughly miserable, except at Christmas when it is traditionally extra super fucking miserable with at least one major cast member killing themselves. David Fincher praised the soap opera’s ‘unflinching stare into the abyss of British life’. 
  3. The theme music has been named by the Metropolitan Police as a major cause of Urban Crime. 
  4. Cast members have been known to run away to the army in order to avoid being in future episodes. One famous ‘actor’, Ross Kemp, even tried to get himself killed in Afghanistan.
  5. The new David Fincher series will be relocated to Hawaii. The East End of Hawaii.

 

HOUSE OF CARDS 3: REVIEW

HOUSE OF CARDS 3: REVIEW – Frank Underwood is back and now he’s in the White House, but does the Netflix original series get our vote?

You campaign in poetry and you rule in prose, the hoary old cliché goes. The delight of seasons one and two of House of Cards was seeing the backroom boy, the wheeler dealer, Frank Underwood moving in the shadows. Bringing the post-modern Machiavelli into the klieg light of the presidency was always going to be a risk. There is a bold ambition to it, certainly, giving a harsh corrective to the soppy wish-fulfillment of The West Wing, but could the drama and can the character survive it? Rising to the challenge of the office?

Well, the answer is yes and no. But mainly no.

Okay what’s good about the season? Kevin Spacey has settled into the role like a comfortable pair of house slippers, but given that he doesn’t do much in the whole season, his conniving seems fairly low grade given the scandals of real presidents – wire tapping, adultery, illegal wars – he ends up performing a series of gestures to prove his badness – micturating on his father’s tomb, spitting in Jesus’ face etc. Robin Wright continues to be the best thing in the show and, as in season two, Claire gets most of the best scenes and drama. Her character changes while Francis remains much the same but in different places. And she provides an unexpected and genuinely interesting ending to the season.

So what’s bad about the season? Doug Stamper. I don’t care. You don’t care. We don’t care. I’m not even sure Doug Stamper cares. A cold unemotional hollow man is hard to root for at the best of times and Michael Kelly does his best, but he is so removed from the action and his behavior follows such clichéd lines, that the only benefit his subplot gave was the opportunity for a toilet break without having to press pause. Worse still was Paul Sparks as Thomas Yates. Again not the fault of the actor, but this is a TV exec’s idea of what a novelist looks like. And writes like. Good god, I’ve not heard purple prose like that since a saw the gallies of Prince’s autobiography. His very existence made no real sense, like almost all of Francis Underwood’s decisions.

But what about the politics? Surely being in the White House gave us more scope to get into the substantive side of the political debate? But somehow the adept politician of Seasons one and two was replaced by an incompetent who seemed constantly dumbstruck by the duplicity of … erm … politicians. Lars Mikkelsen as Putin Petrov provided Underwood with a great foil, but this rivalry was undermined by the fact that Underwood was consistently outwitted by the most junior of characters and more fatally by the audience. The joy of the first seasons was feeling you were never sure what Underwood was up to. Here, it looked more like he didn’t know what he was up to.

House of Cards is still a fascinating and beautiful show to watch. And a fourth season has potential given where we were left, but it really has to stop telling us how smart everyone is and start showing us.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

HOUSE OF CARDS SEASON 3 TO BE RELEASED THIS WEEKEND

HOLLYWOOD – Following Netflix‘s release of the second season of the Kevin Spacey political drama House of Cards last week, exhausted marathoners will be delighted/distressed to learn that come Saturday Season 3 will be available for instant download. 

Spacey revealed that the idea of doing Season 3 had not originally occurred to him. 

We were waiting to see how people would react to Season 2. What we didn’t anticipate was how they would download all the episodes and marathon watch them over the weekend. By Monday, we realised most people had watched the Season and were ready for more. 

So Season 3 wasn’t actually ready?

No, we started writing the script on Tuesday. Wednesday we began filming that script while the writing team worked in shifts on the rest of the season, we filmed what they had when they had it. There are going to be some plot holes, but the important thing is content. But we realised by this point our audience will be as sleep deprived as we are.

House of Cards Season 3 will be available on Netflix Saturday.  

HBO AND NETFLIX JOIN FORCES FOR NEW FANTASY POLITICS DRAMA: GAME OF CARDS

NEW YORK – David Fincher and George R.R. Martin have announced that they are to collaborate with Netflix and HBO on a new political fantasy drama provisionally entitled Game of Cards.

The plot details are sketchy but the notion seems to be that following the wars the new President Stark (Sean Bean) and his political underlings are shifting for position in Westeros, D.C. An ambitious young dragon handling scribe (one of the Maras) teams up with the Hand of the President, Frank Underhill (Kevin Spacey) to connive and plot in a deliciously articulate way for incomprehensible ends.

David Fincher speaking about the project said:
We’re really excited. Fantasy has been dormant for years and many people said you can’t sell a political drama, now literally thousands of people are saying you can’t sell a political drama set in a fantasy world. Well I have two words for those assholes, Kevin Spacey. 

Mr. Spacey said he looked forward to the challenge:

Frank is a devious character who is able to get his own way manipulating people with his ability to use language and speak cleverly and wittily. I wanted to do it because it’s like nothing I’ve ever done before. It’s a real stretch. I’m exploring new territories. Oh wait. No, I’m not. Ha ha ha ha ha!  

George RRRRR Martin said that initially the plan had been to make a straight political drama called House of Thrones but ‘we decided I have a beard and so fantasy it is.’ Many are asking will women take their clothes off and give exposition whilst being taken from the rear. Fincher laughs, ‘Of course! If it’s artistically justi… Anyway, yes.’

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