FARRELLY BROTHERS ROSEMARY’S BABY

The Farrelly brothers Rosemary’s Baby remake gets the green light as news spread that Pineapple Express director, David Gordon Green is to direct a new Exorcist trilogy.

As an unusual genre for the Farrelly brothers Rosemary’s Baby remake will star Amy Adams as Rosemary (previously played by Mia Farrow) and Jon Hamm as Guy (previously played by Nick Cassavetes). 

 



The Farrelly Brothers Rosemary’s Baby

The Farrellys told The Exec,  ‘We’re huge fans of Polanski’s films. Uumm… up to and including Chinatown. But nothing after that. Y’know what I talking about. And we always thought we would be a perfect fit to bring Rosemary’s story to a new generation. We will tell her story with compassion and sensitivity. Oh, and a whole heap of fart gags.’

 


Shallow Hell

‘We’ve got a great supporting cast lined up and ready to go. We have Kirstie Alley in the Ruth Gordon role. We’re very proud to announce we have Kevin James on board as Satan. He just brings so much class and heft to any role he plays. From The King Of Queens where he pulled funny faces and fell over a lot, to Paul Blart Mall Cop, where he pulled funny faces and fell over a lot. The man’s a comic genius.’

 


An American Wayans In Venice

The Wayans brothers brought us classics such as White Chicks and 85 entries in the Scary Movie franchise and are remaking another horror classic. They will write, direct and star in a remake of Don’t Look Now. It will be called ‘What The Fuck Was That?!’ Marlon Wayans will play all three main roles including the mysterious figure in the red coat. 

 


The Farrelly Brothers’ There’s Something About Rosemary Starts Shooting In September. The Wayans’ What The Fuck Was That?! Starts Shooting In November. The Sequels Will Start Shooting In December.

47 FILMS: 3. PARENTS

47 Films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams continues with Bob Balaban’s debut horror Parents.

The family is a good place to start when it comes to horror, be it Norman Bates’ mother complex, the psycho family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even the sweet demonic daughter from The Exorcist. Just getting pregnant can be scary – see Rosemary’s Baby, or in a weird way Alien!

A welcome addition to the sub-genre is Bob Balaban’s 1989 horror-comedy Parents. Set in a 1950s American culture that worshiped the sanctity of the nuclear family, Dad (Randy Quaid) knows best while Mom (Mary Beth Hurt) prepares the meatloaf, entertains guests, wearing bouncy frocks and without a hair out of place. Unfortunately, their young son (Bryan Madorsky) is having nightmares and seems to be focused on their eating habits with mounting suspicion. Endlessly told to eat his meat, the ‘leftovers’, he asks what were the leftovers, before they were leftovers. ‘Leftovers to be,’ replies his dad with a grin, but it soon becomes apparent that the meat is of a much terrifying provenance. Could it be that his parents are feasting on human flesh?

Balaban – an actor famous for his character roles in films such as Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Deconstructing Harry – gives the film a jaunty ironic tone with a soundtrack made up of Golden Oldies. This is Tim Burton territory of a hyper-stylized pastel bright suburban America as if they all just popped off the back of an old cornflakes packet, but he infuses it with a darkness that seems more Lynchian. The child is powerless before his  parents and their bland cheery authority. The school tries to help but the social worker (Sandy Dennis) is a chain smoking mass of neuroses herself. Dad works at Toxico and is developing Agent Orange to wreak havoc in the Third World and there are suggestions later on that the cannibalism is not so much an aberration as a family tradition.

Balaban brilliant makes the normal horrifying and the comforting disconcerting, what should be a tasty hearty meal becomes an inedible terror.

For more of our 47 Films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams Click HERE.

ZOMBIES TO BE KILLED OFF

HOLLYWOOD – Ever since Victor Helperin‘s 1932 film White Zombie, the undead have been limping and lurching, drooling and more recently raging across out cinema screens.

The cultish gore fest and satire of the George Romero films of the Seventies gave way to the mainstream shoot em ups of War World Z and The Walking Dead and so it is with some sadness – and relief – that studio executives announced today that they were definitively killing off the cult figure before there was a serious outbreak. 

A spokesperson for AMC pivotal in the making of Walking Dead commented:

We had tried by getting rid of Frank Darabont, but that wasn’t the head shot we’d assumed it would be and the damn seasons just kept staggering on, blood and pus-oozing from what ought to have been a fatal wound. We tried killing off the interesting characters but here we are again. Like half a body dragging its entrails spilling torso across the floor towards us.

 Danny Boyle – director of 28 Days Later – said he was not sorry to see the back of the horror sub-genre.

When we made 28 Days Later we were essentially trying to reinvent the zombie, speed it up and make the stories less contrived. However, the Rec films and World War Z have convinced me that even this injection of angry raging life has not been enough.

 Sociologist and film critic U’buto Menege wrote recently in the Huffington Post

Freud said that nightmares were fantasies that are too transgressive to admit. Our feelings of horror are actually just us acting out what we really want. The problem with the zombie scenario is that fantasy is actually all too obvious. The nightmare is no longer there. It’s pure fantasy. We dress up as zombies at the drop of a hat. Freud would shit himself laughing.

From 2014 no more Zombie films (or infection films) will go into production. The ones already in production will be taken out to the back lot by government agents in bright yellow chemical threat suits and buried by a bulldozer in a large communal pit.

The last Zombie film to be shown will be Martin Luther King Jr: Zombie Killer.

 

EDUCATION BOARD TO CHECK CHILDREN’S DRAWINGS FOR DEMONIC POSSESSION

NEW YORK – Education boards up and down the country are implementing a new praxis whereby children’s artwork (ages 5-11)  will be routinely checked for evidence of demonic possession, potential psychopaths and ghostly mothers.

The idea was pioneered in California where Dr. Robert Buick published a paper entitled: ‘What Potato Paint Tells Us’.

He spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I’m a huge horror movie fan and so I’ve watched like a ton: Insidious, The Orphan, The Shining, a ton. And it occurred to me when there’s a haunted house, a possession, demons around or some other ‘paranormal activity’ going on, one of the first indications is the drawings of an elementary school child. Often a teacher or family member will flip through a series of generically normal pictures of houses with  sunshine, rainbow and children playing with the family, only to stop at one painting which is black and red, very jagged and features horrifically imagined demons with daggers for fingers.

Danger signs will include

  • dark/Gothic color palette
  • scenes of gory violence which possibly anticipate a future event
  • facelessness
  • writing in Latin

However, some critics say that the whole initiative has no basis in reality. Felicity Parameters of the Parents Organisation In Touch said, ‘Dr. Buick’s theories have no scientific basis and are frankly ill advised. Many children enjoy drawing something violent and dark and these children are now going to be sent to the Vatican for mandatory exorcism which is heavy handed to say the least.’

What do you think? Leave your comments in the comment box below. 

EVIL DEAD WILL NOT HAVE A SEQUEL

HOLLYWOOD – With the box office success of Evil Dead this weekend, it has been taken for granted that this is the beginning of a new franchise. However, executive producer Sam Raimi made it clear that there would be no follow up to the remake.

‘We’ve made some money and people have enjoyed it, but this is not just a cash grab and to make a sequel would be worse than those assholes over at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre shop,’ said Raimi, who took a break from his remake of The Amazing Spider-Man (for more on that story CLICK HERE) to talk exclusively to The Studio Exec.

There is a tendency in horror films now to just go for series and milk the cow dry. Everyone thought this was the case when we set about the reboot, but we went in a different direction and I’m glad it’s worked out. But now, let’s not make this Scary Movie or worse still Paranormal Activity. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So I can promise you. No sequels.

You heard it here first. What do you think? Let us know with comments and shit.