JOSS WHEDON TO DIRECT HORRIBLE BOSSES 3

HOLLYWOOD – In the publicity wake of his interview where he spoke out against accusations of bullying and abuse, Joss Whedon is to direct Horrible Bosses 3. The Avengers and Buffy helmer has announced he will be writing the script based on his own ‘experiences’. The Exec sat down to talk with the controversial director about his latest project.

Joss Whedon To Direct Horrible Bosses 3? How did that come about?

If you print anything bad about me, I’ll destroy whatever pathetic career you have. Got it?

Woah There Joss! I Just Asked You A Civil Question.

What? Oh, you must have mis-heard me. I didn’t say anything bad. I guess it’s understandable, English isn’t your first language.

Yes It Is. I’m English. It’s The Only Language I Speak.

I’ll speak slowly so you understand, comprende? What a f**king idiot. Who thought it was a good idea for you to interview me?

I Can Understand Every Word You’re Saying Joss. And It’s Recording. I Can Play It Back To You.

You didn’t say this was going to be recorded, you devious hack. What kind of game are you playing here?

I’m Trying To Interview You. Of Course It’s Recorded. I Want To Ask You About Horrible Bosses 3.

That? I don’t where they got the idea I would be suitable to write and direct this but I’ll give it a go. I’m just going to write about all the times I’ve ever had healthy disagreements with actors. It’ll be really funny. I’ll write about how funny it is when I threaten their careers, shout them down on set in front of the whole crew. I’ll show that really I’m just a good guy who has been misunderstood. Misunderstood by pretty much everyone I’ve ever worked with. They all think I’m an asshole.

Who Are You Going To Cast?

To be honest with you, I’m having trouble getting in touch with actors and their management. They’re all real busy I guess as they never return any of my calls. How crazy is that?

‘Horrible Bosses 3: Aint I A Stinker’ Is Currently In Development

POPE FRANCIS CONDEMNS HORRIBLE BOSSES 2

VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis, the Bishop of Rome, today launched a stunning attack on the comedy sequel Horrible Bosses 2.

The pontiff used his weekly sermon delivered to pilgrims congregated in Saint Peter’s Square in Rome to launch a scathing attack on what he called ‘an utterly unnecessary sequel to an appallingly inept comedy, the very existence of which calls into question the existence of a benevolent creator’:

Hollywood can be a force for good in the world. I for one am stoked to see Interstellar, but why are they making Horrible Bosses 2? How does Jason Sudeikis get work any more? Who is this Sean Anders asshole? He made what? Meet the Millers? That was a terrible film. And now they’re talking about a Paul Bart: Mall Cop 2. I mean, if this comes to pass, I for one will question my faith in the existence of a good God.

Pope Francis’ comments comes following a slew of uninspiring comedy sequels such as Dumb and Dumber To, which the Patriarch of the Greek Orthodox Church Bartholomew the First called ‘truly disappointing, a real let down’. However, Rabbi David Lau seemed more forgiving, saying that he ‘would watch anything with Jennifer Aniston in it. She is a very funny comedienne.’

Arch-atheist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins welcomed the Holy Father’s comments:

I think this pope is moving the Catholic church forward to a place of dialogue and common ground. Scientists working at CERN have been bombarding all three Hangover films with neutrons and they just don’t get any funnier. In fact the first one, which we had originally thought was quite amusing, just gets progressively worse even though that seems to suggest some theoretically impossible time travel.

Horrible Bosses 2 will be released no matter what we do or say.