VAN SANT EXORCIST REMAKE IN B&W GREENLIT

GREENLIT – A Gus Van Sant Exorcist remake in black and white has been greenlit. Following the runaway success of the director’s Psycho remake, the Van Sant Exorcist remake is to be a black and white, shot for shot version. The Exec caught up with the director at Exec HQ to find out more.

So, Gus Van Sant, an Exorcist remake. Where did you get that idea?

‘Look man, we made so much fucking money with my Psycho remake, we didn’t know what to do with all that cash. It was a huge smash hit, ya dig? So anyway, there I was with my manager, floating in our money swimming pool when we heard about these Exorcist sequels with Ellen Burstyn on board. Me and my manager looked at each other with dollar signs in our eyes. We both said at the same time, ‘THE POWER OF CASH COMPELS YOU!’ It’s as simple as that.

Will Your Remake Be A Part Of These New Films?

If they make any kind of decent green, then yes, of course we’re part of the franchise. If they don’t, no fucking way man, ours is a stand-alone remake.

Have You Cast The Film Yet?

Yeah, you betcha we have. We got Andrew Scott playing Father Karras. Because who don’t love a sexy priest? I’ve seen Fleabag. People go wild for that shit. Brian Cox will play Father Merrin, but we’ll just get him to shout ‘Oh, fuck off!’ throughout the exorcism. You know, just like he does in that Meme-GIF thing. And we got Macauley Culkin playing Regan.

Is Regan Going To Be A Grown Man In This Version?

No. What do you mean?

Well, Regan Is A Little Girl In The Original. And Culkin is male. A grown man.

No he isn’t. He’s that cute little boy that gets left home alone in that movie… I can’t remember the name of it now.

Home Alone.

I know he is. I just said that, but what’s the name of the movie?

 

It’s Home A… Never Mind. Forget It.

The Exorcist Redux Starts Shooting In 2022.

FIRST LOOK: MCCONAUGHEY’S FREE STATE OF JONES GETS TITLE CHANGE

HOLLYWOOD – Matthew McConaughey’s Civil War time travel comedy previously known as the Free State of Jones has got a change of name and direction: Home Alone: Origins.

Although originally billed as a serious drama, director Gary Ross said the change of direction had been motivated by the star himself. He spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Matthew was very concerned that he had done perhaps one too many gritty role. He’d got his Oscar and it had served him well and his roster looked just a gritty with the the new Reese Witherspoon drama Gritty Mud coming up. So we got together and we thought what can we do to return Matthew to the zone of Failure to Launch and Fool’s Gold. The glory years as we call them.

And?

Well, we had the rights to the Home Alone series and we decide wouldn’t it be fun to do a kind of Lost in Time prequel. What if Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) was staying at his mad scientist uncle’s place, played by McConaughey, and he accidentally got trapped in a time machine and left behind at the time of the Civil War. The uncle has to go back in time to find his nephew. Meanwhile, Kevin goes from bloody battlefield to bloody battlefield, playing a key role in victories and defeats, using improvised cartoon-like weapons, bowling balls, tennis rackets and buckets of cold water.

Sounds hi-lar-ious. Will Culkin be age appropriate though?

Don’t worry we’ll Serkis him. We’ll need to use a lot of CGI anyway. What we first shot is still quite dark and gruesome. But there was always a darkness to Kevin’s story. And Andy Serkis will be perfect in bringing the out.

And what about the Terminator connection?

I’m glad you asked me that. Of course, that is the other great time travel franchise, so we thought why not tie it in? It’s not as if anyone is actually paying attention anymore to continuity or logic. So yes a T2000 will feature in the film, voiced by Joe Pesci!

Home Alone: Origins will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor

HOME ALONE 5 WILL NOT BE FUNNY

HOLLYWOOD – The latest installment in the Home Alone saga – Home Alone 5 – will not be funny, star Macaulay Culkin confessed.

The former child star told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that the film will be to some extent autobiographical:

With John [Hughes, the original writer] dead, the creative controls fell entirely to me. I don’t have John’s comic vision. I’m afraid I see things in a more bleak light and that informed my choices when I wrote the script.

So what happens?

Well, Kevin is now a grown man. He’s been damaged by what a number of psychiatrists have diagnosed as abandonment issues. He lives on his own so that he’s essentially Home Alone all year round. For Christmas his family decide to stage an intervention to try and wrestle Kevin away from his own demons. Unfortunately, Kevin has taken some bad mushrooms and thinks that his parents and brothers and sisters are the reincarnations of the burglars who plagued him in the original films.

And you wrote the script?

Yes. Chris Columbus unfortunately was unavailable to direct so I turned to my good friend Tom Six, who is most famous for directing the Human Centipede. He’ll be doing it right after he finishes on The Human Centipede Musical.

And why Home Alone 5? You were only in two Home Alone movies?

Ideally it would be called Home Alone 3, but the producers did make two other films and so for legal issues we chose this title. There were also a couple of unnumbered films but we chose to ignore them as they are definitely not canon, even though they belong to the ‘Home Alone Universe’.

Home Alone 5: Shut In will be released in 2015.

CULKIN TO STAR IN ‘HOME ALONE 6: INCEPTION’.


HOLLYWOOD – Troubled former child actor Macaulay Culkin has signed up to star in Christopher Nolan’s re-imagining of the Home Alone franchise.


Home Alone: Inception will feature Culkin reprising his role as Kevin McCallister- now a 30 year old alcohol and substance abuser being treated by a psychiatrist (Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson) for his childhood abandonment issues and traumatic experiences with known criminals.

Unable to find a way to reach him, the psychiatrist decides to use a new experimental procedure which involves Kevin entering his own mind and recreating the house from the original movie. The psychiatrist then implants two burglars (once again played by Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci) into his psyche and Kevin has to set up increasingly elaborate booby traps in order to fight them off. If he is successful, he will be cured of his problems. If he fails, he will be lobotomised.

“I’m really excited,” said Culkin. “Christopher has given me an opportunity to get back in the game and even though my own personal problems are rooted in the Home Alone series and that camping weekend I spent with Michael Jackson at the Neverland Ranch. This is my chance for redemption.”

Chris Nolan, on the other hand, was a little more apprehensive:

If I catch Culkin smoking crack in his trailer again I’m going to have him killed.


Home Alone: Inception is due for release in 2014

FLUFFER’S XMAS TOP TEN: PART 3












In preparation for the festive season Studio Exec asked resident flaneur and genius Sir Edwin Fluffer for his top ten Xmas movies. This is part 3 of his selection:


6 Gremlins
Lovely Harry Carey Jr. rang me a few years back to say that he had a part in a new picture they were shooting called Gremlins.  I visited him on the set and can’t say I fully understood what was going on, but everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun. 
When I arrived they were setting up a shot using a stair lift much like I have at home. The actress who’d be sat in it still hadn’t been called, and I was pleased as punch to be asked to stand in for her! I got into costume and took my position, but then the machine malfunctioned and I was propelled up the stairs at break neck speed! I was travelling so fast that I couldn’t stop and was flung off the end and straight out of a window!
I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in all my life! The director loved it and kept the whole scene in the final cut. He even let me have the dress, which comes in useful whenever dear Mickey Rooney is having one of his parties.

7 Home Alone
The first time I saw this picture I didn’t like it at all, but that’s because I went into the wrong screening and ended up sitting through The Godfather Part 3. The second time I saw it I thought the popcorn was a little overpriced. I believe I paid a dollar for my carton (bear in mind that this was 1990!) and so I expected a dollar’s worth of popcorn. I can’t remember exactly what happened next, but a photograph did appear in the LA Times the next day of yours truly lying on the sidewalk outside the theatre with paramedics in attendance. 
I reached an out of court settlement with the staff at the movie theatre and to this day we’re still the best of friends. 
In fact I think I may be right in saying that the deputy manager married one of my daughters, but don’t quote me on that. In the end I saw Home Alonemany years later when it was shown on television. It was very funny, but I didn’t like the adverts.