Tag: Hollywood News
CULKIN TO STAR IN ‘HOME ALONE 6: INCEPTION’.
HOLLYWOOD – Troubled former child actor Macaulay Culkin has signed up to star in Christopher Nolan’s re-imagining of the Home Alone franchise.
“I’m really excited,” said Culkin. “Christopher has given me an opportunity to get back in the game and even though my own personal problems are rooted in the Home Alone series and that camping weekend I spent with Michael Jackson at the Neverland Ranch. This is my chance for redemption.”
If I catch Culkin smoking crack in his trailer again I’m going to have him killed.
STAR WARS SPIN-OFF TO BE BASED ON GREASE
HOLLYWOOD – Disney confirmed this morning that one of the proposed spin-off’s of the Stars Wars franchise will be based on the popular 50’s musicalGrease.
Jim Jacobs who wrote the original script has been working with Guillermo Del Toro on the project and he exclusively told The Studio Exec that they have a 1st draft and are currently working on a 2nd.
“It’s going to be a pretty faithful remake of the original Grease” said a chatty Jacobs.
Apprentice Sith Lord Danny Zucko lives on the Death Star. He falls for uptight Jedi in training Sandy Olsen during summer vacation but when he returns and finds Sandy has joined his school. He’s torn between his love for a rebel spy and his loyalty to the empire. To cut a long story short at the end Sandy puts on a pair of black hot pants and decides to join the dark side.
The music is what makes Grease and the lyrics are so well known we didn’t want to mess with them; but we have made a few subtle changes so there’s tracks like Jedi School Drop-out, Blue Moons, Tears on my Tie-Fighter, Hopelessly Devoted to the Emperor and You’re the Darth that I want.
“It beats them doing another f*cking Christmas Album,” said their irate agent.
TOM HIDDLESTON IS THE REAL DOCTOR WHO
LONDON – A controversial new book by eminent historian Crispin Hake claims that revered actor and housewives’ choice Tom Hiddleston is really a time traveller from the planet Gallifrey.
I was conducting research into the history of photography when I discovered an old CIA file labelled ‘Top Secret’. I looked inside and I just couldn’t believe my eyes.
It seems that Tom has appeared so frequently that the US government had to manipulate images and replace him with other characters so people wouldn’t start asking questions. Not only do we know he’s been around since the invention of the camera but there is evidence to suggest he could have been living amongst us for centuries!
“Tom isn’t a time traveller. He’s a God!” said 14 year old majorette Tina Lopez.
EASTWOOD TO DIRECT DAY-LEWIS IN ‘THE CHAIR’.
LOS ANGELES – Hollywood legend and registered republican Clint Eastwood, confirmed earlier today that his next project will be an experimental psychological drama titled The Chair, based upon his own screenplay.
Set for a Winter 2013 release. Eastwood claimed he seriously considered playing the lead himself but after being captivated by Daniel Day-Lewis’ performance in a sneak preview of Spielberg’s ‘Lincoln’. He immediately decided the Anglo-Irish actor was the only man for the job.
We caught up with Day- Lewis the day before he was due to go into a six month seclusion to prepare for the role.
Mr Lewis. You’re probably one of the most in demand actors currently plying their trade. Why choose ‘The Chair’ as your next project?
Well there are many reasons why I chose it. I’ve been a fan of Clint’s since I was a boy and I admire him as a director. I’ve also spent the last 10 years playing these powerful iconic characters in big budget epics and I thought it was high time I took a step back, stripped things down and returned to my art house roots.
So you regard ‘The Chair’ as an art house film?
Very much so. We have one location, one camera and one actor. I was surprised that Clint would want to work on such a small scale and without a script but he’s in his element.
There’s no script?
Not as such no. Clint did send me a 500 page document which had ‘The Chair, The Chair, The Chair, The Chair’ written on every single sheet. So I suppose in a sense there is a script but it contains no plot, dialog or narrative.
Interesting. So who will you be playing?
I’ll be playing ‘The Chair’.
I see. So who is ‘The Chair’, a Mafia Boss, the head of a corrupt banking organization?
‘The Chair’ is a chair.
Sorry I don’t follow.
What are you sitting on right now?
A chair.
And that’s what I’ll be playing. Not that chair of course, a different chair. Though I suppose in a sense, I’m playing every chair.
Ok…You’re renown for your method acting. How have you been preparing for the role?
I’ve been watching lots of Jude Law films and flicking through Ikea catalogues and Good Housekeeping magazines. For the next 6 months i’ll be up in the Catskills with just myself and a chair. I want to really understand what it’s like to be a chair and more importantly, how to think like a chair.
Right. So what is the film about exactly. what happens?
Nothing happens but at the same time, EVERYTHING happens. It’s very metaphysical.
Apologies Mr Lewis but I’m little confused.
Look. The camera will show a bare room and in the middle of it will be a chair, played by me and that’s all that happens on screen for the next two hours. The aim is to encourage the audience to use their imagination and start bringing this chair to life. They’ll imagine their loved ones in the chair. People they admire, people they hate and people they only half remember. They’ll see their, demons, their day-dreams and their deep dark desires. All Clint is doing is providing a canvass and it’s up to the audience to paint the picture.
Wow. I don’t understand a word you just said but I like the way you said it.
Thanks. Anyway I must go Clint and I are going to drop several tabs of acid and do some carpentry.
Mr Lewis. It’s been a rare pleasure.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER TO PLAY APOLLO CREED
HOLLYWOOD – After months of negotiation Shame (2011) and Prometheus (2012) star Michael Fassbender has signed on to play Rocky’s original nemesis Apollo Creed A.K.A The Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, The Dancing Destroyer, and The Count of Monte Fisto.
interview.