NETFLIX TO MAKE MAKING OF HBO’S MAKING OF THE GODFATHER MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Netflix is to produce a movie that charts the behind the scenes drama of the HBO movie about the making of The Godfather: Francis & the Godfather.

In a brilliant postmodern move, Netflix studios is developing a film about the making of a HBO film about the making of The Godfather. The HBO film, Francis & the Godfather, chronicles the making of Francis Ford Coppola’s adaptation of Mario Puzo’s bestselling novel. The Netflix movie HBO, Francis & The Godfather will follow the way Andrew Farotte’s black list script was brought to the screen in collaboration with the filmmakers of the original Godfather movie.

A source close to the production had this to say:

We’re really excited. The Godfather stands as milestone in cinema history. One of the best films ever made. And the drama of how it was made is almost as interesting. When we heard HBO were making a film about the making of it, we couldn’t help but think, what about a film about the making of a film about the making of The Godfather? What could be more interesting than that?

Showtime has announced plans to make a film about the behind the scenes drama of the making of the Netflix film about the making of the HBO film about the making of The Godfather.

Netflix, HBO, Francis and The Godfather will be released in 2018.

YOUNG POPE ACTUALLY KIND OF OLD

VATICAN – Young Pope not that young.

In the new HBO show Jude Law plays Lenny, the new American Pope. His election has come back from some serious House of Cardinals politicking by Silvio Orlando among others. He likes his fizzy drinks and he seems intent on upsetting all the old geezers. He’s sexy and they’re all repressed. But of course he isn’t actually that young. He’s not even a hip priest to quote British post-punk band The Fall. He’s a reactionary in many ways and possibly mad. The beginning of the show is impressive with Lenny in full regalia crawling from under a massive pile of babies onto Saint Mark’s Square in Venice. Like many things in the show it is a stunning visual moment. But like many things in the show, it seems to exist only to be a stunning visual moment. Paolo Sorrentino has already been guilty of the style over substance in The Great Beauty and the godawful Youth. Here, his quirk ethic sees him allow kangaroos to wander the Vatican and Diane Keaton’s maternal nun to wear a ‘Like a Virgin’ t-shirt not because that’s what they do but because it’s a witty visual joke.

I’m about halfway through the show and I don’t know whether or not to finish it. Law is good and the people surrounding him – with one or two Eurosoup exceptions – are of high calibre, but nothing seems to happen. And nothing seems to matter. With its claustrophobic powerplays it all ends up feeling a bit old hat.

The Young Pope is showing on HBO.

WESTWORLD – REVIEW

REVIEW – New HBO drama Westworld has finished.

A remake of the fairly daft Michael Crichton movie, Westworld has turned into something far more classy. A violent version of The Truman Show with hints of Philip K. Dick at his most trippy: loops within loops indeed. Some guessed the surprises long ago. William turning out to be the Man in Black had been guessed by many sometime back.

But in a way we have all been roped into to this strange idea that because of SPOILERS, there need to be these big narrative twists. M. Night Shyamalan done screwed us all. To see something coming is not necessarily a weakness in storytelling. In fact, I’d say the knowledge that William will turn into Ed Harris’ gnarly sadist lends an otherwise insipid story line some real potency. Some fire in his belly and grit in his eye to quote Johnny Cash.

Likewise, there was always a revolution coming and a peaceful takeover of the running of the park was never in the offing. Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy did a good job of holding this off to the last possible moment. A bit like a convoluted shell game we were always uncertain as to who was going to pull the trigger. Maeve, Bernard or Dolores? In the end, they kind of each did, though the real puppet master was obviously going to be Ford, played with quiet aplomb by Anthony Hopkins.

And this was where the show was truly classy. The meaningful plight of the replicants, the circles within circles of the narrative could easily have become act 3 of the Matrix Revolutions with its half-baked Baudrillard. But Nolan and Joy and a fantastic cast kept the balls in the air pretty consistently. Evan Rachel Wood, Thandie Newton, Ed Harris and Jeffrey Wright were all astonishing. Truly great. And the late revelation of an Eastworld complete with Samurai showed just how many more possibilities this world could have.

Having not once left the confines of the park, the workshops and its corporate control rooms, my guess is the real world doesn’t exist. They are all replicants. Felix helps Maeve because they’re both drones, working for a corporate master that is indifferent to their respective ‘humanity’. That rebellion might be pre-written into their identities as just another narrative – perhaps as a self-cleaning tool – is a deeply depressing but nonetheless valid concept.

I still hate the British guy. And some of the sex stuff felt like HBO being HBO, but this was a deeply satisfying piece of fiction that far outstripped its source material.

 For more Reviews, Click Here.

 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT WESTWORLD

HOLLYWOOD – Don’t know anything at all about Westworld?

Okay. The Studio Exec FACT squad has entered the park where cowboys and slatterns exchange quips and bullets. What could possibly go wrong?

One. The original pilot for the series written and directed by Michael Crichton featured Dinosaurs but it was decided that it would be too expensive.

Two. Rachel Evans Wood, who plays Delores, spent six months being a robot to prepare for the role. She even learned the ‘robotics’ dance style. Later, she said that learning to dance like a robot had been ‘a complete fucking waste of time’.

Three. Anthony Hopkins is almost certainly a robot who killed Arnold and took on his role. Or someone else is a robot.

Four. The sex scenes were the first thing that Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy wrote. And then they built the story around them.

Five. The weird British guy has to die. And the weird lesbian. How did they sneak the weird lesbian into the show? At one point did they think we’ll get a lesbian in, but let’s make her weird, because you know, she’s a lesbian?

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

 

HBO NEW SHOW JUST CALLED ‘ORGY’

NEW YORK – HBO have announced a new show simply titled Orgy.

Following the success of Game of Thrones and Westworld, HBO have announced a new show Orgy.

An insider from the studio told the Studio Exec:

The new show is simplicity itself. There’s fifty minutes of orgy every week. There’s not going to be a plot. Maybe five minutes. Characters I suppose but you know… It’s going to look amazing. And that’s it. We’re thinking of weaving in some other shows. We still have the sets and costumes from Vinyl. It was set in the 70s so that has a porny vibe. But that’s it.

Gaspar Noe is to direct the pilot episode and David Duchovny will star.

Orgy will show in early 2017.

NIC PIZZOLATTO AND ROBERT DOWNEY JR TEAM UP FOR WEDGER

HOLLYWOOD – It was the most successful role of Robert Downey Jr’s career and now True Detective scribe Nic Pizzolatto has joined the team to make Wedger better than ever.

Two years ago Wedger broke records and became the apotheosis of water cooler TV, but star Robert Downey Jr decided to take a break and there were rumors that he would never return to the role:

I did Wedger. I gave it my all, my best, and it almost killed me. I didn’t start drinking again or anything like that, but GodI found myself driving past Woody Harrelson’s house late atnic pizzolatto night, when it wasn’t on my way home.

However, it seems like fans are going to get their wishes granted and a second season of Wedger has been announced. It will be written by True Detective Season 1 genius and True Detective Season 2 schmuck Nic Pizzolatto.

I’ve always admired Wedger. There was so much Wedger in True Detective, perhaps too much at times.

Fans of Wedger have expressed mixed feelings at the news. Hammersmith Ione, head of the internet pressure group the Wedgies, told the Studio Exec:

On the one hand we want more Wedge, on the other Nic Pizzolatto? I’m not sure I’d let him organize a wedding video after that Colin Farrell steam he pulled last time.

To read the recaps of all the episodes of the first season of Wedger, Click Here.

FINAL GAME OF THRONES TO BE LEGO EPISODE

HOLLYWOOD – The final episode of Game of Thrones is to be a Lego episode.

‘Everything is Hordor! Everything is Hordor when you’re part of a team!’

HBO’s epic fantasy series Game of Thrones is to conclude its 6th season with a Lego episode, it was revealed today. Showrunners Philip Lord and Chris Miller said that they had been saving up a special crossover conclusion that will have fans laughing and shrieking with horror in equal measure:

As we began to bring our surviving characters closer and closer together it became obvious that the main confrontation would take place in the penultimate episode with the Battle of the Bastards. In the Winds of Winter, we wanted to lighten the mood a little and we thought why not a Lego episode? From a budgetary point of view it was a lot cheaper and the actors didn’t have to get up so early in the morning to be on location so it was a really fun shoot.

But surely the adult nature of the show makes a Lego episode inappropriate?

I don’t know. After all you have Spongebob in talks for True Detective Season 3 and with Pixar making such clever children’s films, that demarcation between kids and adults is really coming down.

So the violence…?

And the anal sex, yep, we’re doing it all. A little Lego penis will be seen at some point for the first time in television history. And some of the gore… I think because it’s Lego we can actually go further than we would otherwise be able to. I felt quite sick after the test screening.

And the story?

I’m not giving away spoilers man. But I will say that there be dragons and Yellow Walkers.

Yellow walkers? You mean White Walkers?

Nope.

Game of Thrones Season 6 concludes tonight.

BEN AFFLECK RETIRES AS AN ACTOR TO CONCENTRATE ON BEING A MEME

HOLLYWOOD – Actor and film director Ben Affleck announced today that he was giving up acting and directing in order to pursue an alternate career as an internet meme.

Argo director and Batman v Superman star, Ben Affleck today announced his retirement from the movie business so that he can concentrate fully on being an internet meme. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Ben had this to say:

It’s f*cking crazy man. I spent years putting together Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon. Writing the script, going to meetings. Years. And the same with Argo. It took so much time. And even the acting jobs look easy but the mornings are early, the nights are late, it’s difficult and Zach Snyder shouts in your ear hole all the time. Making Batman v Superman, I had months of washing Snyder’s spittle out of my f*cking hair. It’s f*cking disgusting. And then every dip sh*t with a blog just pisses on you and sh*ts on you from a height. So what’s the f*cking point?

I don’t….

Yeah, exactly. Stupid ass biscuits! And then something odd happened. All of a sudden everyone was talking about me and sharing videos of me. It’s called a mem Exec. A f*cking meme. All I have to do is look sad during some interview and all of a sudden boom. I’m everywhere. No work, literally zero.

So that interview with Bill Simmons…?

Goddamned right. That’s gonna be a meme too, you see! It’ll be all over the place. And you want to know an advantage of that.

What?

You can do it drunk.

That’s great.

F*cking A!

Ben Affleck will next be seen in Ben Affleck Walks Around a Park without Trousers.

5 BAFFLEMENTS CONCERNING GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6

WESTEROS – The new season of Game of Thrones is almost over and it is time to send the traditional raven of criticism towards the King’s Landing of your face.

The Studio Exec Game of Thrones FACT Squad rode to River Run to lift the siege on the Black Fish while the High Sparrow and the Mountain did their thing and the mother of dragons, breaker of chains did something else.

1. Time. Time passes very strangely in Game of Thrones. The actors are obviously aging a year a season – Bron joked with Poderick about being too old to be a squire – but the story seems to be going along pretty much uninterrupted with no elisions. Of course time is always an odd concept for the books as well. The winter is supposed to last for years in the book. Oh and by the way, Winter is coming? When exactly? And this feeling that time is passing too slowly and too quickly was exemplified in the last episode (8 I think) when Arya Stark goes to sleep – cut away to other events happening elsewhere, siege etc. – and then back to Arya Stark waking up. Did that all happen in one night? Was Arya asleep for more than one night? Did more time pass? And the treatment of time is also a problem of scale which brings us to…

2. Epic or soap opera?  Everyone dresses and talks like an epic. There is the different climate zones of epic. There are the crane shots of epic. But the show dabbles increasingly in soap opera. Cersei has become Alexis Colby (ask your grandmother); there’s a number of ‘will they or won’t they’s (most revolving around Brianne of Tarth) but most importantly there is this soap opera inspired structure to the show of three minutes with these characters, now three minutes with this other group, which makes the show almost like watching MTV and waiting for your favorite song to come on. And the fact is that for some of these popular characters there is simply no story to be had. The Imp is the worst victim of this during this season. He has little to do except sit around with Grey Worm and Missandei, trying to do comedy improv like the shittest Whose Line Is It Anyway? you’ve ever seen. By the way, that has to go down as the worst written scene of the whole series so far. There is a sense that they put it there as a place holder, saying we’ll write something better later and then forgot. The sense of palpable relief when Daenerys turned up was not only the character’s but the actor’s as well. They probably thought she was dead. Which brings me to…

3. Dead or alive? Ever since Bobby Ewing turned up in the shower (ask your grandfather), the idea of bringing back a much beloved dead character has been seen as the Kryptonite of believable drama. Yes, we have dragons and we have magic, but bringing a character back from the dead is like Superman flying around the world to reverse its spin and turn back time. Death loses its power and sting and before you know it other characters are coming back, like the Mountain and the Hound. What we felt when Jon Snow died is rendered null and void and although Melisandre uttered the secret incantation ‘fannnn servissssss’, the fact of the matter is giving the fans what they nakedly want is not really doing them any favors. We liked Game of Thrones when it was cruel to us. Now we see it trembling before our displeasure what will happen next? Maybe we could ask George RR Martin, but that would mean…

4. So George RR Martin is not involved with this season and the show has finally reached escape velocity from the books. You could sense several moments where the writers were boldly and intentionally undoing some of the knots Martin had tied himself in. Raising Snow from the dead did mean we got to keep one likable character. Freeing us of Reek was another move that foreshortened a tedious plot line (though at the expense of credibility -‘I am Reek’ ‘Snap out of it’ ‘Oh, okay.’) Sansa’s description of her rape and the consequences of it also felt like the show was trying to redress the wrongs it had done to women throughout by at least voicing some of the aftermath of what was turning the abuse of women into water cooler conversation. But unfortunately this urge is chipping away at the internal coherence of the story – already fairly shaky I’ll grant you – and although Martin was always a bit of a mad bastard, I preferred that to this script by committee. Now we get the feeling that anything might happen and there is some fatigue as we giddy up toward the ending.  But about that ending…

5. The end is nigh! We know that the next and final two seasons are going to be shorter and we know that the showrunners and HBO want to close this thing. Forces are gathering and duels are being set up, showdowns are foreshadowed and navies need to be procured,  dragons house trained etc. This is going to be undoubtedly a good thing, but I wish they hadn’t announced it two years in advance. Now the outline of what they will set up is too evident. I imagine the last season is going to be one surprise death after another from episode one onward. I suppose this shouldn’t worry me. The show is no longer a TV drama, but a CULTURAL PHENOMENON and we have to respect how it is now located as much in comment boxes, twitter rants, podcasts and clickbait articles (like this one) as it is located on HBO. The whole idea of SPOILERS which has now overtaken our culture is driving the way stories are told and this is a bad thing, because it privileges one audience response – surprise – over the whole range of possible emotional reactions.

For more Game of Thrones, Click Here. 

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM NEWS MET WITH TOO MUCH ENTHUSIASM

HOLLYWOOD – The news that there would be a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm was met with gleeful joy yesterday, upsetting the creator and star of the show Larry David.

Everyone’s favorite curmudgeon is back! Larry David will be complaining about how difficult it is to park and how awkward social situations can be for another season, although he has already threatened to withdraw the new season after the news of its imminence was greeted with enthusiasm by fans.

David told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Firstly, the clue is in the Goddamned title. What are you not listening? Do I have to spell it out in bigger letters? Should I have called the show Just F*cking Die (Already) with the already in brackets? I don’t get it. This internet culture. You have everyone hooked on the news of what television is going to be on in six to eight months. There was a time we were just happy that something was good on tonight. Man buns!

But people are happy Larry!

Well, they shouldn’t be. People are happy? Of course they’re happy. They’re stupid. I mean: grown men wearing shorts. What is that about? The only people who ought to wear running shoes are people who go running and even then I don’t see why they can’t wear a sturdy pair of brown leather shoes. Indiana Jones went around the world, fighting Nazis, French archaeologists and Thuggees all in a pair of comfortable brown leather shoes and a decent pair of long trousers.

But what has that to do with anything?

Haven’t you seen my show? What has anything got to do with anything? Jesus Christ Exec! I feel like I’m going crazy here.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 9 will be broadcast on HBO.

HBO ANNOUNCES MORGAN FREEMAN SPECIAL

HOLLYWOOD – HBO yesterday announced as part of its Fall scheduling a new eight part series starring Morgan Freeman and entitled Morgan Freeman Sits on a Stool and Reads from the Phone Book.

Each episode will feature the Shawshank Redemption star and Oscar winner sitting on a comfortable stool – ‘like a bar stool’ – and reading from the telephone book.

‘People have been saying that I have a mellifluous honey toned voice,’ Mr Freeman said. ‘And more than once someone has said to me, I could listen to you read from the phone book. So I got to thinking… Why not.’ 

Of course the concept isn’t entirely original. One of the television highlights of last year was the HBO special, ‘Sir Ian McKellen Sits in a Comfy Armchair and Reads the Yellow Pages.’ Producer Sally Arlow said that audience figures were through the roof so a follow up was almost inevitable. ‘But whereas Sir Ian brings with him the Gandalfy Shakespearey Englishness, we had a lot of conversations with Morgan about making his 8 part series a specifically American experience. Hence the stool.’

‘The show is not going to appeal to everyone,’ says Ms. Arlow. ‘The iPhone generation, people with computers, Google, that sort of person. But there is still an audience of perhaps more traditional, very sleepy people who wish to doze in front of the television while Morgan Freeman reads from the phone book.’

Although the exact identity of the phone book has not been revealed, there are already plans afoot for similar programming should Morgan Freeman Sits on a Stool and Reads from the Phone Book prove a success.

Dame Judi Dench has expressed an interest in reading out John Deere Tractors Owner Manuals while sitting in a wicker chair. And John Malkovich has just signed on for a new NBC programme entitled: John Malkovich Sits in a Jacuzzi and Reads out Wikipedia Entries of Long Forgotten Boy Bands from the 1980s.

Morgan Freeman Sits on a Stool and Reads from the Phone Book will show this Fall.


GAME OF THRONES NEWS: JON SNOW DEAD AGAIN

HOLLYWOOD – Game of Thrones continues with the news that Jon Snow is once more dead, but don’t worry chances are he’ll be back again next week.

Everyone was upset when Jon Snow died. But it wasn’t unexpected. Following Ned Stark’s execution, the Red Wedding and then that guy getting his head crushed, it wasn’t as if the loss of a major character was out of the ordinary. However, Jon Snow was handsome and innocent, famously ‘knowing nothing’ so his death provoked both upset and consternation. But it was with definite mixed feelings that fans greeted the news that Jon Snow had once more returned to life last week. Some believed this meant the show had gone too far, others suspected a fan service that was too craven,and even more feared that the showrunners had revived him only to kill him again at a later date.

Well, it turns out the latter were correct as in the next episode of Game of Thrones Jon Snow is once more killed. The manner of his death caused some eyebrows to be raised. Lumbering about in a Frankenstein like manner, Snow takes a header off the Wall in the final scene of episode three of season six. Although there was obvious shock value, the scene concludes with a shade of black comedy as Melisandre sighs and orders the Watch to go and retrieve the body muttering ‘Here we go again!’

Game of Thrones Season 6 is showing on HBO.

QUIZ: WHICH GAME OF THRONES CHARACTER ARE YOU?

WESTEROS – Game of Thrones season 6 is about to begin and so in order to celebrate the Studio Exec has created an EXCLUSIVE quiz which will tell you which Game of Thrones character you are.

Which Game of Thrones character are you? Complete the quiz and find out.

Are you a fictional character?

Yes, continue the quiz.

No, you’re not a Game of Thrones character.

Were you written by George RR Martin?

Yes, continue the quiz.

No, you’re not a Game of Thrones character. Seriously.

Have you ever seen a bus or a car?

Yes, you’re not a Game of Thrones character. Jesus. Come on.

No, continue the quiz.

Do you live in Westeros or the real world?

Westeros, continue the quiz.

The Real World, you’re not a Game of Thrones character. And  really? You got this far.

Are you reading this on a computer, tablet or smart phone, or did a raven deliver it?

Raven, continue to the end.

Computer, tablet or smart phone, but you’ve never seen a car or a bus. Are you f*cking kidding me?

YOU’VE COMPLETED THE QUIZ. YOUR GAME OF THRONES CHARACTER IS REEK!!!

NOW PLEASE CASTRATE  YOURSELF OR OTHERWISE REMOVE YOUR ORGANS OF GENERATION SO AS TO AVOID POPULATING THE WORLD WITH REALITY CHALLENGED BUFFOONS SUCH AS YOURSELF.

Game of Thrones will start showing some time soon.

AMC REVEAL WHO NEGAN KILLED IN WALKING DEAD FINALE

HOLLYWOOD – Following a controversial Season 6 finale of The Walking Dead, AMC has decided to placate the fan base and reveal who Negan killed.

Ever since the finale of Season 6 of The Walking Dead, fans have been lighting up the internet with a variety complicated theories and general complaint. Some comments have been longer than The Lord of the Rings and some theories are more complex than the General Theory of Relativity. However, following a fan petition and several negative reviews, AMC have revealed who Negan, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, killed in the final episode of Season 6.

A source from the Studio told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The fact of the matter is Negan didn’t killed Rick or Glenn or Daryl. As a matter of fact, he didn’t kill an major character from the Walking Dead. That was a huge misdirection on the part of the showrunner. Instead, it was a major character from a different show.

A different show? An AMC show?

Nope. A different highly successful show from HBO.

HBO? You don’t mean…

You know nothing Studio Exec.

Negan killed Jon Snow?

You know noth…

Shut up. Just shut up! It doesn’t make any sense. 

You know nothing.

The Walking Dead Season 7 will be broadcast in the Fall.