DAVID FINCHER BUYS RIGHTS TO TARANTINO/GAWKER

HOLLYWOOD – Quentin Tarantino‘s legal battle with internet site Gawker has only just begun but already Aaron Sorkin has scripted a legal drama on the subject entitled The F*ck You Network.

Well known for his topical film-making, David Fincher is on board to direct and had this to say earlier today. 

Quentin Tarantino is an icon of a backward looking postmodernity and Gawker is all that is new and disturbing in our online culture. Coming head to head like this is going to make for a genuine clash of the titans. The minute I read Aaron’s script I knew I had to do it. He’s captured the dazzling verbal facility of the Reservoir Dogs director as well as the irreverent invective of Gawker. And he does the whole thing in walk and talks. No conference rooms.

Isn’t it too early for a film on the subject?

No. If anything, I’m worried we missed the boat. I know for a fact that Ron Howard and Peter Morgan are working on a rival project called Tarantino/Gawker.

Can you tell us something about the plot? 

Sure. Sorkers has gone back to his A Few Good Men days. Tarantino is the washed up wunderkind who sits at home smoking dope and writing screenplays in biro cos he thinks it’s cool. He’s writing this Hateful Eight screenplay and Gawker are the goofy trendy kids who kind of go too far.

Will Quentin Tarantino appear in the film as himself?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No.

 The F*ck You Network will be released in 2015. 

MICHAEL MADSEN: TARANTINO LEAK MEA CULPA

HOLLYWOOD – Michael Madsen has given an extraordinary confession to the Studio Exec following the leaking of Quentin Tarantino‘s new script The Hateful Eight onto the internet and the director’s shelving of the project.

‘Yeah, it was me,’ said Madsen. ‘And I’d do it again tomorrow.’

Initially suspicion had fallen on Bruce Dern and the agency that represents him, but both issued vehement denials. Tim Roth, Tarantino asserted, was in the clear, because the Django director knew for a fact that Roth had been working as an undercover cop for the past thirty years. That only left Madsen, who came into the Studio Exec office to make his full confession. 

Initially, the Reservoir Dogs actor sounded defiant:

I did it, yeah. I told Quentin, either I read it or I don’t, or I’ll put it on the internet or I won’t. He just laughed. I was kinda warning him, but he didn’t care. If he hadn’t done what I warned him not to do, he’d still have a film.

What’s the script about it?

It’s about a girl who’s very sensitive she’s been f*cked over a few times. Then she meets some guy who’s really sensitive.

Whoa, ain’t that ‘Like a Virgin’?

I told Quentin. I said “Listen kid. I’m not going to bullshit you, all right? I don’t give a good f*ck what you say or what you don’t say, I’m gonna leak the script onto the internet anyway. Not for profit. But cos it’s amusing, to me, to leak a Quentin Tarantino script onto the internet.” QT was just laughing is head off. “Great Mike, stay in character,” he said.

 Has Tarantino been in touch?

He phoned me and got a little angry, talking about legal ramifications and stuff but I just told him. “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?” Then he got really mad.

So now that the film looks cancelled what are your plans?

I’ve got loads of offers and possibilities. You think that I can’t get any work except in Tarantino pictures? Is that what you’re implying? I was in Thelma and Louise Goddam it! I was in Species! [Incoherent sobbing] Oh Sweet Jesus, what have I done? What have I done?

 What are you doing with that razor?

 Now hold still, you f*ck. Hold still.     

The Hateful Eight will be released in 2015.