TOM HARDY TO PLAY THE FONZ IN HAPPY DAYS SPIN OFF

HOLLYWOOD – Venom and Mad Max star Tom Hardy to Arthur ‘the Fonz’ Fonzarelli in a new Happy Days spin off movie.

fonz

‘Sit on it!’ Tom Hardy says as he comes in the room. He’s preparing for the role of a life time, Arthur the Fonz Fonzarelli. Living upstairs with the Cunninghams, Fonz returns in a new big screen outing and Hardy can’t wait.

I loved Happy Days when I was a kid. Monday – Tuesday – Happy Days! Wednesday – Thursday Happy Days! – the week is through there’s nothing to do rocking all night with youuuuuuuuuu!

Yeah, that’s gr…

These are the days ahhh ahhh ah!

Okay right! Enough! So Ron Howard is directing?

Yeah, having Richie Cunningham is going to be really special. We really want to have the old flavor of the original. That’s why the original Fonz Henry Winkler will be returning as my dad. And other cast members are coming back.

Like Scott Baio.

With Scott, it’s complicated. We have to see if Olive Garden will give him the time off.

The Fonz is Back will be released in 2019.

DONALD TRUMP EXPELS SCOTT BAIO BY ACCIDENT

WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump accidentally expelled Scott Baio earlier today.

‘I thought he was an illegal!’ A panicked Donald Trump allegedly yelled at his White House after signing an executive order that expelled Happy Days star Scott Baio.

The kerfuffle came when President Trump’s pen ran out of ink while signing executive orders to stop poor people from using gravity. Sean Spicer told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

An exciting moment and President Trump turns to me. And said: ‘We should expel Scott Baio.’ I was taken aback. But I immediately got the Executive Order written up and he signed it. It was only later I was told he had actually said ‘Has anyone got a biro?’ which admittedly doesn’t sound that similar.

The order states that Charles in Charge actor Scott Baio has 12 hours to leave the territory of the United States of America or he will be seized and forcibly removed.

Baio was seen to be hastily gathering his belongings including his 1981 Most Promising Performer TV Award and tearfully waving goodbye to his wife and children, who have elected to stay.

SCOTT BAIO HAS ‘A BLACK FRIEND’

HOLLYWOOD – Former Happy Days and Charles in Charge star Scott Baio today revealed he was not a racist because of his black friend.

You know him as Charles from Charles in Charge, or perhaps better still as Chachi from Happy Days, maybe you know his extensive pop album catalog or the hilarious comedy Zapped!, but superstar Scott Baio is in trouble following a tweet taking a swing of Michelle Obama. Accusations of racism were quick to follow, but Baio defended the joke and his own political probity and lack of racism with the claim that he has a black friend. Or at least his wife does.

And we can be sure that if she’s a good friend of Mrs Baio, she’ll be a good friend of Scott’s. I wouldn’t presume to bring someone’s wife into an argument, especially not in a disparaging way. It would be a tasteless move. Not classy. Not at all. Because I can see from Scott’s twitter feed how often he brings up his own wife and how loving he is of her, what a great relationship they seem to have. And to attack her to get at him – because of his endorsement of Donald Trump for instance – well, that would just be low. So given that Scott has a black friend and therefore isn’t racist, and is happily married and wouldn’t dream of going after a guy’s wife, just because they don’t see eye to eye in politics, then we can only assume that the tweet was posted by someone else and that Scott will report that person to the FBI.

Unhappy Days will be released by Netflix next month.

HIDDEN GEMS: 13. GREASE

Hidden Gems brings to light little known film gems which have somehow slipped through the collective cinematic consciousness. You’re welcome.

The fifties were an innocent time. Cheerleaders in bobby socks, Rock n’ Rollers in leather jackets and slicked back hair, Summer loving happened some would say too fast and everyone went to school until they were in their mid-thirties. Olivia Newton-John plays Sandy Olsen, an Australian housewife who has come to America to hang out in high school. John Travolta is Danny Zukko, a slightly younger version of the Fonz, who falls for Sandy during a brief holiday romance, only to find her at his school. Unable to connect with her again because of the homo-eroticism of his middle aged man leather gang, Danny spoons around singing and Sandy, befriended by the local girls (less so the acerbically fun Stockard Channing), sings about girl’s nights etc.

There’s a James Dean style dragster race along a dry river bed, a dance contest and a subplot about pregnancy, but we’re all just marking time happily enough until school breaks up once more and we finally can fly off into space on a magical car!

The genius of this little known film – you are more likely to have seen Grease 2 – is its absolute pig-headed determination to not give a shit. It is exuberant fun with a bucket of good tunes, breezy good humor and the sense that youth is wasted on the young, so we’ll be young again too. John Travolta took years to recover from the disappointment of the films commercial and critical failure, only resurfacing in the mid nineties with Broken Arrow.

For more Hidden Gems CLICK HERE.

RON HOWARD ADMITS MIME FARM GUILT

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard today admitted that he felt terrible about the revelations of his secret mime farm.

In a tweet to the Studio Exec the Cocoon director confessed that it was ‘unsustainable.’ To read the original story, CLICK HERE.

Henry Winkler, who played the Fonz alongside Howard in Happy Days, was supportive of his former colleague. ‘We all make mistakes,’ said Winkler. ‘But as the Fonz might say, “Sit on it!”‘

 

RON HOWARD’S ILLEGAL MIME FARM DISCOVERED

HOLLYWOOD – Rush and Apollo 13 director Ron Howard has been arrested following the discovery at his California ranch of an illegal mime farm.

Over 150 mimes were rescued from what police officers described as ‘inhuman conditions’.

Officer Shelly McReth of the Special Mime Unit told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

You see some pretty disgraceful things in this job, the kind of things you think will harden you, but in all my years of law enforcement and work amongst mimes, this is perhaps the most flagrant and revolting exploitation of mimes I have ever seen. We found fifty mimes crammed into one invisible glass box which at most was only ever supposed to hold twelve.

How did Howard come to capture so many?

We believe that the Happy Days star trapped the mimes by asking them to carry heavy luggage on a windy day, sometimes while being dragged into a net by a gust filled umbrella.

Many neighbors in the area where Howard has his mansion expressed astonishment at the revelations.

This is a really quiet neighborhood. We never noticed anything. But then again, actually it being quiet… well… that probably is understandable now that I think about it.

Why Howard was keeping the mimes, whether it was to sell them to illegal Mexican mime clubs or for his own personal gratification is as yet unclear, but if found guilty of the accusations, Howard could be looking at a fine as high as $240.

As to whether the Howard’s arrest will unduly effect his next project – a biopic based on the life of Marcel Marceau – there is as yet no word.

 

RON HOWARD TO DIRECT HAPPY DAYS MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Sunday, Monday, Happy Days, sang Ron Howard, announcing the final green lighting of his dream project: The Happy Days Movie.

Once he’d stopped singing, the Cocoon director told Studio Exec exclusively:

For years I’ve been running away from Richie Cunningham. Was a time someone even mentioned Richie and I’d punch them out cold. I mean seriously. But it was while we were filming Rush that Henry Winkler called me up. I hadn’t seen him for years. Anyway he called me up and he said he had my family… [hyperventilating] he has my family. I have to … So I’m really looking forward to working with him again. He’s an artistic genius.  

The new film will feature a reunion of surviving cast members and will be set in the same time period as the original despite the different ages of the cast. 

I did suggest we change the ages or bring in new young members and we’d play like their parents or something, but then Henry sent me a package and when I opened it there was a smaller passage and so on and so forth like a Russian doll until…. Jesus… until there was this small finger sized box.

Why don’t you contact the police?

 These days are ours, happy and free [sobbing] These Happy Days!

Happy Days: The Motion Picture will be released just before Ron Howard’s family.

SCOTT BAIO TO STAR IN SEQUEL TO THE QUEEN

HOLLYWOOD – Legendary American actor Scott Baio is to star in a sequel to Helen Mirren’s Oscar winner The Queen. Charles in Charge is set in the near future and sees the onset of a succession crisis, as Prince Charles struggles with his own children, a vicious daughter-in-law and his own unpopularity following the abdication of his mother Queen Elizabeth II. 

Chachi said: 

I’m delighted finally to get a role that will stretch me. I mean, it’s no secret that the phone has stopped ringing and if it wasn’t for the wonderful though sporadic work I pick up on the cruise ships things could really have gone hard for me. 

A former Happy Days alumnus is also in action behind the camera, as Ron Howard has replaced Stephen Frears where he’ll be shouting ‘action’ and ‘cut’ in his own inimitable way. 

I’m fascinated by the British monarchy as I think all Americans are. And yet there is a moment of great uncertainty approaching. Elizabeth the second has been on the throne now for decades and most young people have never known another ruling monarch. So the future is laden with some real possibilities and as we know from Shakespeare, power struggles of this kind can be fascinating.

Scott Baio continues:

When I first met with Ron to talk about the script, he told me there were two reasons he wanted me. Number one, he believed I had never truly got an opportunity to show the world what a great actor I was. And number two, he thought the joke with the name of an old show I was in and the idea of playing with that was irresistible.

Of the two reasons he gave which one do you thing weighed heaviest?

I’d have to say the second one.

Charles in Charge will be released in 2016.

BREAKFAST WITH ASSHOLES: 21. RON HOWARD

LONDON – With a new film in cinemas – the Formula 1 racing thriller Rush – I jumped at the chance to sit down with the Angels and Demons director Ron Howard to discuss this project and his career.

Little did I know that he was on a strict color coordinated diet and worse yet today was a blue day.

So Richie, what first attracted you to Formula 1 as a subject for a film?

I suppose it was simply reading Peter Morgan’s wonderful script. You see we’d worked already on Frost/Nixon and… wait a second.

What?

Did you just call me Richie?

No. 

Okay. I think … where was I?  Oh yeah, the script was really good so I latched onto that. 

When you were directing the actors did you have any difficulties?

No, not at all both Daniel Bruhl and Chris Hemsworth are very talented actors. And extremely professional, though I am sorry to hear that Chris and Miley Cyrus have split up.

I heard that Daniel at one point during the driver’s meeting scene refused to sit on a stool and you had to tell him ‘to sit on it’.

I don’t remember that incident specifically. As I say, there are times a director has to put his foot … oh wait I see what you’re doing.

What?

You’re just…

I heard the schedule was very tight. What was the typical week?

Erm… Well, it was tight as a matter of fact. It was a lot of shooting and a lot of hard work. We’d start Monday…

Tuesday Happy Days!

Oh this is bullshit. I came here to do an interview. And you’re just trying to make a bunch of lame Richie Cunningham references. 

Best work you did Richie.

I made Cinderella Man, Goddam it! And Apollo 13 and Far and Away. The Da Vinci Code… You know now that you think about it Happy Days was a lot of fun. Okay fair enough. Ask away.

Well, actually that’s all we have time for and these Gorgonzola cornflakes are beginning to repeat.

No come back, seriously. I can tell you what Henry Winkler’s really like. And I got a hilarious story about the time Potsie potsied Joanie. Hey…


For all the Breakfasts CLICK HERE.