GOLDIE HAWN JOINS KURT RUSSELL FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2

HOLLYWOOD – Today the news we have all been waiting for was finally confirmed: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell are uniting for Guardians of the Galaxy 2.

Everybody knew that Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was going to be good.  The original James Gunn film was a fun, witty and action-packed adventure, but rumors had been circulating that none other than Deathproof, pork chops himself Kurt Russell would be appearing as the Star-Lord’s father. However, it was only today we discovered that he would be reuniting with his wife Goldie Hawn who joins the cast as Star-Lord’s stepmother Joanna.

Director James Gunn told the Studio Exec:

I was so excited about getting Kurt but secretly I wanted the family pack. I am a huge fan of Overboard and this will be an unofficial remake of that film. Obviously we focus a lot on Chris Pratt and the various japes that he gets up to, but there is a whole subplot about Star-Lord’s dad and his step mom and how they met. The chemistry between the two of them is off the chart and I think this is something that really is going to lift the film above the usual sequel problems.

Goldie Hawn said that she was very excited to be a part of the new film.

More than anything it will be a chance for me and Kurt to spend a little time together. What with a hectic schedule it has been really difficult to find any time to sit down and really enjoy each other’s company. On a film set, strangely enough there actually is quite a lot of time to do that. We’ll probably drive each other crazy but that doesn’t matter because it will feed into the characters.

The Guardians of the Galaxy 2 will be released.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

MARVEL FILMS ‘BASICALLY LIKE THE WEATHER’

HOLLYWOOD – Marvel films have now become basically like the weather, a new study by scientists from the internet has reported.

With an ever increasing crop of Marvel films every year – Ant-Man and The Avengers: Age of Ultron have already hit the screens – the prevalence of superhero films from the Marvel stable has rendered them basically the same as the weather.

Dr. Rupert Magget of the Weather Channel told the Studio Exec:

There are tribes in the Amazon rain forest that have never spoken on a telephone, never seen a television and don’t have a word in their language for Frappucino. And these tribes are looking forward to the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel and talk about nothing but when the Black Widow is going to get a stand alone movie.

How do you explain this dominance?

Some would say that the ruling ideas of any epoch are the ideas of the ruling class. Actually Karl Marx would say that. So if we look at what Marvel produces, stories about small elite teams of individuals being given carte blanche to do anything and justified by a constant state of terror which is always threatening to destroy the world but actually doesn’t then … well, I don’t know. Tony Stark is a one percenter, Captain America is someone for whom the Second World War never actually finished and the Hulk is someone who destroys cities with apparent impunity. All of these are supported by a mysterious NSA style organisation with a huge budget.

But some would say that the Marvel films are critical of themselves and investigate these very points.

Perhaps. But what is interesting is that when we talk about the Marvel Universe, we’re not just talking about a fictive space in which many different stories exist in the same geographical and historical space, we’re also talking about an ideological uniformity that is actually quite fascistic. Look at Iron Man, we’re concerned about his state of mind, his state of being and ultimately everything is resolved because of his ability to apply force, rendering all other questions null and void.

Jesus. This got really serious.

I’m just a weatherman.

Okay. So what has this got to do with the weather?

Well, that’s just about how many Marvel films we’re getting. And not just how many but with each film we get a round of trailers, first glimpses, photos, rumors, interviews, it’s just endless. Now, like weather, it just kind of blends into one thing.

What about the DC Comics Universe?

I don’t know what that is.

Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 are all due out in 2016.