HOLLYWOOD – Internet giants Google have launched a new app to go with their Google Glass device which will change the voice in your head when you think to that of actor Morgan Freeman.
A spokesperson for Google said:
The technology has always been there. It was actually developed in the 1960s when they were going to use Julie Andrews singing everything you think against communist spies, political dissidents and Anti-War protesters. The army mothballed the idea over human rights concerns but when we picked up on it we decided the time had come.
How does it work?
It’s quite simple. Your brain is just a series of electrical signals. In a micro-second we record the signals, dub over Mr. Freeman’s voice and then reinsert them with no perceptible lag. You’ll be thinking in golden sonorous tones before long.
Will this actually change the nature of your thoughts?
Ha ha ha. Yes.
We’ve run extensive tests and we’ve found no matter who the subject is young, old, male or female, black or white, they always become incredible wise, a little sad and wistfully humorous. Like they’ve seen enough of the human comedy to allow a certain wry distance between themselves and the shenanigans that surround them.
The Google Morgan Freeman App will only be available as an add on for Google Glass at the moment, although it is widely reported that Apple are developing a similar application with the voice of Liam Neeson, but everyone agrees that at the moment it’s just scaring people with a phrase about him having ‘a particular set of skills’.