HOLLYWOOD -Today NASA announced that they’ve discovered evidence of Brendan Fraser on Mars.

NASA probe Devious has brought back images that appear to show The Mummy star Brendan Fraser on the Martian surface. The actor best known for the Mummy films as well as Gods and Monsters and George of the Jungle was thought to only exist on the planet Earth but an ambitious NASA project sought to find evidence of the actor in other parts of the solar system. Project leader Tim Elton told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We had a feeling Brendan would be found on Mars but we didn’t dare to hope. Devious was designed to detect Vincent Gallo originally, but a public outcry raised at the prospect of success meant that we had to recalibrate.

Although it is unclear how Brendan Fraser got to Mars, whether he travelled there or evolved independently, the best theory is that Brendan Fraser might have gone there for pies.

The Rock is currently doing all the scripts Brendan Fraser would have been doing.


 HOLLYWOOD – The countdown to the release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part Two has started and Bill Condon, the director has spoken for the first time about how radically different the film will be to the Stephenie Meyer book: ‘The fans are going to shit their pants.’

‘We followed the book really closely in the other films,’ said Condon, whose previous credits include the marvellous Kinsey and Gods and Monsters. ‘The problem is all the fans have read the books and know what’s going to happen, so we thought this is the last one let’s just go hog wild.’

Although Condon fought shy of giving too many details, he made flying space ships gestures and machine guns sounds with his mouth and then some tap dancing, and then huge explosions. One thing Condon was clear about: ‘There’ll be a lot less of all that Edward and Bella and Jacob bullshit,’ said Condon. ‘That stuff got old fast.’

Fans can make up their own minds about the new direction when the film comes out in mid-November.