ZACK SNYDER CASTS GERARD BUTLER AS WILLY WONKA

HOLLYWOOD – Zack Snyder casts Gerard Butler as Willy Wonka.

Warner Bros have announced Zack Snyder casts Gerard Butler as Willy Wonka in the lead role of the prequel to the Roald Dahl children’s classic. In a shock press release by the Hollywood studio, Warner’s have not only announced Snyder is to direct the Roald Dahl prequel, but also that Butler will play the candy tycoon. The press release reads as follows:

‘We are delighted to announce Zack Snyder will direct the upcoming Willy Wonka prequel, ‘Wonka: Death By Chocolate’. We are doubly delighted to also announce Gerard Butler will star as the ass-kicking candy king.’

15 Hour Snyder Cut

When Snyder eventually completes the edit on Justice League (hahahahaha, he ain’t editing Jack shit out of that thing) he will start work on Wonka. The plan is that he will initially release a ‘Theatrical Pre-Snyder Cut Edition’. He’ll wait for it to not make the shooting budget back at the box office. Once that happens, he’ll start a load of rumors through various Twitter accounts. When they gather momentum he’ll bitch and moan about not being able to release his vision for the film and then release his full 15 hour cut that he was always going to release from day one.’

The statement continues: ‘Honestly, which one of the Warner brothers did this guy blow? Why do we keep making his fucking movies? Do you know how many fucking hours of Justice League screenings I’ve had to endure? And now this shit. Seriously, somebody please shoot me in the face. I feel like Rorschach by the end of Watchmen. Where’s my Dr. Manhattan to turn me into a bloody pile of goo? Anyway, here’s the synopsis –

It is a time of war, a time of heroes, a time of darkness, lots of darkness. It’s very, very dark. We can’t stress enough how dark everything is. Believe us. It’s fucking dark. They took his home, ruined his life and killed his parents (obviously). But he fought back the only way he knew how. By shouting ‘SPARTA!’ at the top of his voice and with extreme, slow motion violence. Oh, yeah, we nearly forgot, he also made chocolate and candy and stuff.’

Willy Wonka: Death By Chocolate starts shooting in the summer.

EARTH HAS FALLEN GREEN LIT

HOLLYWOOD – Gerard Butler is to film London Has Fallen sequel, following Donald Trump election victory.

London Has Fallen – the sequel to the bafflingly popular Olympus Has Fallen – was a huge hit and has prompted producers to go ahead with plans to make a third film and thus complete the Has Fallen trilogy. Babak Najafi takes over directing duties from Antoine Fuqua who bowed out with the excuse that the script was weak, something that didn’t seem to bother Antoine about Southpaw, or The Equalizer, or Brooklyn’s Finest.

Gerard Butler crashed through the plate glass skylight of the Studio Exec bungalow to dish the dirt on the closing film of his ‘Has Fallen’ trilogy.

We are talking escalation. First of all, it was the White House that was under attack. Basically a building. Then we wanted to go bigger and better so we went for London Has Fallen. An entire city under terrorist attack. And now the new film will be The Earth Has Fallen. And I think anyone watching the news will know what we mean.

Science Fiction?

Science Fact! Terrorists are taking over space and are going to target the President of the United States Aaron Eckhart by blowing up the planet Earth and only his loyal secret service bodyguard Mike Banning can save the day.

You?

Exactly. Morgan Freeman had the idea because he was in Deep Impact and he reckoned he could use some of the same lines. There are gonna be so many explosions but then I save the President of the United States.

And the world?

Oh no, the world’s fucked. It blows up. But I save the President and the Vice President and we live on the Moon. Antoine Fuqua is going to direct it. He likes the script.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

SPIKE LEE PRAISES GODS OF EGYPT ALL WHITE CASTING

HOLLYWOOD – Spike Lee congratulates Gods of Egypt for not casting black actors.

The historical/fantasy romp Gods of Egypt hit the Box Office with all the impact of a neutrino hitting a truck windshield this week as both critics and public agreed that the film was not worth their time. ‘Starring’ Gerard Butler and Nicolas Coster-Waldau, the Alex Proyas film tells the story of the myth of Osiris and has been roundly criticized for casting almost exclusively white actors as Egyptians. The film however has found an unlikely champion in Maclolm X and future Enter the Dragon director Spike Lee, who spoke to the Studio Exec earlier today:

At first I was mad about the casting controversy concerning Gods of Egypt. It was Ridley Scott and Exodus all over again as far as I could see. A systematic white washing of history and the world for the benefit of the dollar and dumb prejudice audiences who aren’t interested in watching anything which isn’t exactly like them.

So what changed your opinion?

I saw the film.

Ah!

Yeah, exactly. And I realized. Goddamn it, what if Denzel had been in this or Will Smith, or Oprah I mean Whoopi Goldberg.  It could have set the movement back decades. Normally I’d say I’m against segregation, but I do want to be segregated from your bullshit CGIed up the ass fantasy movies with second string Game of Thrones actors. That’s some shit I can get behind.

Gods of Egypt is on release.

GODS OF EGYPT 2 TO STAR PAUL BETTANY

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Bettany is confirmed for Gods of Egypt 2: Gods of Central Africa to be filmed early next year.

Wimbledon star, Paul Bettany has been confirmed for a lead role in Gods of Egypt 2: Gods of Central Africa, the sequel which will take the action of the first film deeper into the heart of whitest Africa.

We had a chance to speak to Paul about the role and this is what he told us EXCLUSIVELY:

I’ve been very lucky making movies but one thing that irks me is that as an Albino it is very difficult to find roles that allow me to play them in my natural complexion. Most directors want me to ‘pink up’ so that my complexion doesn’t distract from the story. I don’t agree with it and the Albino community are rightly irritated by my choice, but given the paucity of Albino roles, what can I do? The one exception was The Da Vinci Code but here the paradox was I was playing a villain and so my complexion was being used against the profile of the wider Albino community.

But the new film…

Gods of Egypt 2: Gods of Central Africa will take us into the deepest heart of Africa. Gerard Butler is back as Thet, a God who will rise again wanting revenge and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau plays Horus. I am Honkius, the great White God of Central Africa, who is seeking to take over the whole of the continent and place it under my pallid thrall.

That sounds great.

It does, doesn’t it? Alex Proyas already had the script ready even when he was making the first film and the advance publicity has been so good that the studio decided we should start preparing the follow up. Ridley Scott is going to executive produce, because he basically executive produces everything now. And my role will be a great step forward for the Albino community who are finally getting some representation.

But you’re still playing a villain?

Yes, that is true but just the fact and can play him in my own skin and don’t forget… he’s a God.

Gods of Egypt 2: Gods of Central Africa will be released in 2018.

THE MAKING OF PLAYING FOR KEEPS: PART 2

HOLLYWOOD – Studio Exec has got exclusive behind the scenes access to the MOTION PICTURE EVENT OF THE YEAR, Playing for Keeps.

Italian director of such visionary misspelt classics as The Pursuit of Happyness and Severn Pounds, Gabriele Muncino invited Studio Exec on set and behind the scenes, in this the second in our seventeen part series: The Making of a Modern Day Masterpiece: Playing for Keeps.

Muncino: The first day of filming is always very difficult, the actors are nervous, the crew don’t know each other necessarily and what I usually like to do is gather everyone together and make them all stand in a line. And then I run down the line and slap them in the faces. One after the other, tak, tak, tak, tak. Like that.

Jessica Biel: At first we were all quite shocked by the slaps and Dennis Quaid had tears in his eyes. But Gabriel explained that this was an old Calabrian tradition that was supposed to drive away the evil eye.  

Muncino: The slaps deter the devil, I told them.

Gerard Butler: I’m quite a masculine macho man. And so my first reaction was I wanted to punch him with my Scottish fists. But then he explained the tradition and everyone relaxed and we were laughing and ready to make the film. Without the evil influence of the evil eye.

Muncino: Oh the thing about the Calabrian tradition is bullshit, and anyway I’m not even from Calabria. No it’s just bullshit I tell them. Fact is I really enjoyed slapping their faces. It relaxes me and they are all my bitches now.

For more of The Making of CLICK HERE.

THE MAKING OF PLAYING FOR KEEPS. PART 1

HOLLYWOOD  – In the latest of our Making of series a film that was considered ‘much better than anything Stanley Kubrick did’: Gabriele Muncino Playing for Keeps.

Italian director of such visionary misspelt classics as The Pursuit of Happyness and Severn Pounds, Gabriele Muncino invited Studio Exec on set and behind the scenes, in this the first part of our seventeen part series: The Making of a Modern Day Masterpiece: Playing for Keeps.

The Idea.

Muncino: When I got involved was… let me see… about four years ago. Initially the script was called The MILF Man and we had Dennis Quaid involved, but everyone was saying Quaid’s such an asshole. And I was working with Will Smith and he told me I had to see this breakfast cereal called ‘porridge’. It was great and on the cover was this Scottish man. I said who’s that? And everyone was like, that is Gerard Butler.

Gerard Butler: They’d seen my porridge box work and I knew they all hated Quaid so I was quite confident about getting the role. But before we started filming I though I’d better get into character. Now Gabriele had said something to me about I should be a real beef cake. But he’s Italian and he has a really strong accent so I thought he said I should eat a real lot of cake. and so that’s what I did. And trifle.

Jessica Biel: Initially the script was quite offensive towards women. My understanding was that originally it was called MILF Men and had Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson as a pair of fun loving abortionist who have fallen on hard times and so set about ahem, creating some business.  I know. Then Wilson tried to kill himself and then Quaid came on board and everyone was like, fuck no. Not Quaid. I’ve never known anyone in Hollywood to inspire such passion.

Muncino: So we changed the title, got rid of the abortion angle, added a kid and then made it more with it, but we’re ready to go and someone at the studio calls. You have to have Quaid. I couldn’t believe it. After all we had said, after all we had been through.

Dennis Quaid: So Gabriele and Gerard come over and they are just the sweetest people ever. One of them’s Scottish, the other is Italian. Guess which is which. Gerard was unsure about his role and he was considering the sequel to 300, which was called 150, a prequel really. And he told me he’d only do the film if I would be on hand to ‘mentor’ (I believe the word is), mentor him. Of course, I agreed.

For more of The Making of CLICK HERE.

GERARD BUTLER TO PLAY ALEX FERGUSON IN ‘GREAT SCOT!’


LONDON – Scourge of the ladies and occasional actor Gerard Butler has signed on to play the role of Manchester United legend Sir Alex Ferguson in Tom Hoopers’ Great Scot!

Ferguson, who announced his retirement earlier today, confirmed rumours that he was instrumental in casting Butler in the role.


They originally wanted an Englishman, Ralph Fiennes I think it was but I said I’d rather put two rabid ferrets up my kilt then have some soft sassenach play me on screen.

 A relaxed looking Ferguson continued:

I’ve met with Gerry several times and he’s perfect for the part. He’s a football man and knows the game inside and out but more importantly, he’s been trained in the use of fire arms.

Butler is said to be preparing for the role by drinking three bottles of red wine a day and practicing his gum chewing skills. An awe struck Butler said:

I don’t know how he does it. I’ve been drunk and chewing two packets of double mint a day for a week and I’ve already dislocated my jaw twice. The man’s skull must be made of cast iron!.

Joining Butler in Great Scot! is a veritable smorgasbord of acting talent. Already confirmed are Patrick Stewart who will play Ferguson’s mentor Jock Stein, Ben Affleck his former captain marvel Bryan Robson and Johnny Depp will take on the coveted role of French footballing wizard Eric Cantona.

We’re nearly there but there is still a lot of casting decisions to be made [said director Tom Hooper.] Currently I’m looking at Daniel Day-Lewis for Arsene Wenger, George Clooneyfor Jose Mourinho and Peter Dinklage is my number one choice for Rafa Benitez. It’s difficult though as I’m getting calls from everyone in Hollywood begging for a role. Last night David Beckham phoned asking if I’d consider him to play the part of Ryan Giggs!. The mind boggles but it would be nice for David to be involved so in the end I made the sensible decision and cast him as Rio Ferdinand.


Great Scot! Is due for release in 2014

AL PACINO WINS L’OREAL CONTRACT

HOLLYWOOD – Al Pacino is the new face of beauty product company L’Oréal. He will be appearing in a series of adverts in their famous ‘Because I’m worth it’ campaign. Previous luminaries include Patrick Dempsey, Gerard Butler and Hugh Laurie (?), as well as some girls.

Pacino said he was delighted to receive lots of money and not have to do much:

I’ve always loved the theater and making films is good as well, but I never truly saw myself as a model. It’s ridiculous. Who am I? I was never comfortable as a sex symbol. But now I’m stripping off for playboy and showing Mister Bojangles to the world. And now L’Oréal want to put my mush on their shampoo advert? Why the hell not!

How Much do you think your recent appearance in the HBO TV movie Phil Spector influenced the French cosmetic giant?

Oh without a doubt. And I have to say this is all David [Mamet]’s doing. When I turned up and he showed me the various wigs, I was like woah, David. What the fuck! But then he explained that Phil Spector’s dream was to one with the music and what is more one with the music than the microphone, ergo he wanted to become a microphone and that’s what the hair was for. And I was there, dumbass that I am, thinking it just made me look like a complete asshole.

For more on Al Pacino’s Playboy photo shoot  CLICK HERE.