DR STRANGELOVE 2 GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – Dr Strangelove 2 has been green lit.

With World War 3 just a beautiful piece of cake and a twitter rant away, Stanley Kubrick’s classic of Cold War paranoia is to get a sequel with Dr. Strangelove 2. Director Steven Spielberg had this to say:

I’ve always loved Stanley’s film but I was also dissatisfied by the ending. What? Everyone dies? That’s it. I knew when I first saw the film that it wasn’t true. Here I was after all, alive, watching the film. So I decided that something must have happened. A short circuit, or maybe everyone hid in a fridge, and the world somehow continues. My film takes that premise. We are going to see that now General Buck Turgidson, played by George C. Scott in the original –  John Goodman plays him for me – has become President of the United States of America. He wants to renew mining because he doesn’t want a mine shaft gap to develop between the US and the Chinese and North Koreans. Unfortunately things go bad.

Someone goes crazy and tries to set off a bomb?

No. In our version it’s the President who is trying to set off the bomba nd everyone else who is trying to stop him. It just seemed more realistic that way.

Dr Strangelove 2 will be released in 2019.

DR. STRANGELOVE THE DIRECTOR’S CUT TO BE RELEASED

HOLLYWOOD – Stanley Kubrick’s Cold War masterpiece Dr. Stangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) is to be re-released in a new version which will include the famous custard pie fight ending, cut from the original theatrical release.

The Kubrick Estate said that the film has been painstakingly pieced together and digitally remastered.

A spokesperson told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

This has been the work of several years and has taken experts from all over the world, including the participation of famous directors and fans of Stanley like Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese.

How can you be sure that this is the version Kubrick wanted the world to see?

A lot of people think of Stanley Kubrick now as the master manipulator, the man who controlled every aspect of his film’s production., The answer however is a little more prosaic. Often Stanley was in two minds about a creative decision and if he could have I believed he would have released both versions of the film. Look at The Shining which he dramatically edited when the longer version didn’t play well. So now we have the opportunity of showing the film with the custard pie scene intact, I think he would be pleased with the idea. Plus he liked making money as well.

What other changes are there?

Peter Sellers played the part of the pilot Major ‘King’ Kong until an accident meant he had to give up the extra role. However we have some footage of him doing some of the early scenes and Stanley also recorded his line reading of the whole script so we’ve put back those scenes and we’ve CGIed Peter Seller’s head onto Slim Pickens’ body for the scenes he didn’t do. So now we have Sellers as Mandrake, the President, Dr. Strangelove and Maj. Kong.

Anything else?

Yes. Kanye West has recorded a completely new soundtrack, supervised by Nicolas Refn Winding.

Dr. Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) will be released on Blu-ray on Friday and will be in a limited theatrical release across the country.

 

 

GENE HACKMAN’S REIGN OF TERROR









SANTA FE – Hollywood legend Gene Hackman is wanted for questioning by the Santa Fe police department this morning after reports that he’s attacked several more innocent bystanders.

Hackman, who was yesterday accused of slapping homeless man Bruce Becker, is rumored to be stalking the streets of Santa Fe dressed as Santa Claus and randomly roughing up members of the public.

Postal worker Jim Rick, who was still visibly shaken after his ordeal, described his brutal encounter with the retired actor.

I’d just finished my rounds and was about to get a cup of coffee when I was grabbed from behind. Suddenly I’m being wrestled to the floor by this guy in a Santa suit and he’s shouting at me “Where’s the Heroin?” I told him I didn’t know anything about any heroin and he slapped me in the face and shouted again “Where’s the Heroin you son of a bitch?!”. Eventually somebody managed to get him off me and he ran off into an alleyway. I didn’t know it was Gene Hackman at the time. Shame as I would have asked him for his autograph.”

Other victims of the rampage tell a similar story of being set upon and Hackman demanding Heroin. Police are speculating that the ageing star is demanding the drug to feed a secret habit but celebrity psychologist Stanford Locke, has a different theory.

Mr Hackman is exhibiting classic symptoms of George C. Scott Syndrome” said a wistful Locke.

It’s something that happens to some elderly actors who have retired from show business. Basically a chemical imbalance in the brain causes the victim to replay their former characters. Obviously Mr Hackman is currently convinced he is Popeye Doyle from ‘The French Connection’ and unfortunately he will adopt other guises unless he is captured and heavily sedated”.

Locke’s bizarre theory is in danger of being proved correct after reports that Hackman has commandeered a nuclear submarine and is on his way to Russia. Fortunately his ‘Crimson Tide’ co-star Denzel Washington was on board at the time having a private tour and the US government is now praying that Washington can subdue Hackman and avert World War III.

STANLEY KUBRICK

ENGLAND -The first time I met Stanley Kubrick I was walking down a corridor at Shepperton and I saw the Master approaching from the coffee machine. ‘Hello, Mr. Kubrick,’ I said.

‘Come again.’ ‘Hi,’ I said. ‘One more time,’ he changed angle. ‘Good morning?’ I said. ‘Again.’ – The bastard kept me at it for another 59 takes and in the end he used the first one.

This was to be my relationship with the Stanley-oid, as he loved his friends to call him. It was close, intense, fiery and highly competitive. George C. Scott had already warned me that Stanley was a great chess player and had trounced him (and Scotty is no slouch) all the way through the making of Dr Strangelove.

Of course, I was not much good at the game but I knew I had somehow to keep in hand while we were making the 90 minute caper film The Silly Irish Sausage for Warners. So I brought along a game I knew he couldn’t resist Ker-Plunk. What I didn’t know was just how seriously Stan the man, would fall for the game even ringing Mattel and getting them to send over their best Ker-Plunk designer to talk about a movie version. Again and again we played while vital decisions about the progress of the film were often offered up as bets on the outcome.

And that is how The Silly Irish Sausage became Barry Lyndon

(This extract was taken from the forthcoming book Lunches with Assholes: How Films Get Made due out for Xmas