HOLLYWOOD – As Season 3 of HBO’s fantasy epic Game of Thrones reaches its midpoint, the network have been inundated with emails and tweets demanding more sex and less dragons.

‘I was one of the first to criticize show makers for their flagrant use of  sexposition in the earlier two seasons,’ said TV critic David Shankles. ‘But good God, without the sex it’s just Tolkien with cheekbones.’

Indeed this site has also been guilty of suggesting Game of Thrones tone down the nookie (READ THIS WORK OF GENIUS HERE), only to be left with the impression that the exposition with Emilia Clarke clothed is ultimately just exposition, and far too much of it. Shankles continues:

Add to this the fact that – in a wrong-headed fit of enthusiasm – I read all the books, I can now tell you [SPOILER ALERT] the story goes nowhere, slow. 

HBO executives have ordered re-shoots to counter the criticism and some voices from within the network are suggesting the dragons could have tits. Netflix spokesperson Jonathan Gollum (no relation) said that the move ‘smacked of desperation’.

They can feel us breathing down their necks as we thrust towards them from behind, again and again and again and AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!! Oh, I’m spent.

What do you think? Is it complete Dungeons and Dragons? Or Conan they pull it off?