SACHA BARON COHEN TO MAKE RIVAL FREDDIE MERCURY FILM

HOLLYWOOD – Sacha Baron Cohen announces Freddie Mercury film to rival Bohemian Rhapsody.

Don’t stop me now, says Sacha Baron Cohen as he signs on for a rival version of the Queen story. The British comedian was originally slated to play the lead singer in Bohemian Rhapsody when creative differences saw him leave the project. But his interest revived when he watched the Rami Malek film.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with The Studio Exec, the Borat actor had this to say:

What we wanted to do is so different from what they did that I realized that we could make the film and no one would even think of them being about the same person. They did essentially a straightforward and rather sanitized version. We wanted to see the excess, the parties, the extravagance, the decadence.

Sounds good. But will Queen let you use the music?

No obviously not. But we see that as an advantage. That way we avoid all those scenes in the studio and at the concerts and we can just concentrate on the orgies and the drugs. Plus our director is really prepared. Knows everything about Queen, has done the research.

Who is it?

Bryan Singer.

Oh.

He was going to do that Elton John movie with Tom Hardy, but once Tom left he decided to look into Queen and that’s why he’s so uniquely qualified.

Fat Bottomed Girls (You Make the Rockin’ World Go Round) will be released in 2020.

GUESS WHO’S REPLACING BRYAN SINGER DIRECTING QUEEN MOVIE?

HOLLYWOOD – Christopher Plummer will replaces Bryan Singer as the director of Queen movie Bohemian Rhapsody.

Once Bryan Singer departed Bohemian Rhapsody everyone knew what was coming. No sooner had Christopher Plummer finished filming his Kevin Spacey replacement scenes for Ridley Scott than he received a telephone call from someone calling themselves Mr. Robot:

A voice asked me if I would direct a film? Could I direct a film? I thought this very unusual, but I answered I’ve seen it done enough times. I think I should manage. Next thing I knew someone delivered a script to my door as well as a bunch of musicians.

No one has explained the mystery surrounding Singer’s removal. There were reports of a family illness. But also of disruptive behavior on the set, with a worsening relationship with his lead Rami Malek, who stars as Freddie Mercury. That latter hypothesis seems implausible given the asymmetric status of the two.

Adding more confusion is the fact that rumors linking Singer to child abuse claims have seen many assuming he would be joining the lengthening list of Hollywood disgrace. Plummer’s appointment indicates this might be the case.

We asked Christopher if he was aware of Queen.

I will admit that at first I said yes because I’ve always wanted to work with Helen Mirren.

Bohmeian Rhapsody will be released in 2019.

CHRISTIAN SLATER TO PLAY FREDDIE MERCURY’S IMAGINARY FATHER

HOLLYWOOD – Christian Slater has signed on to play Freddie Mercury’s imaginary father in a biopic of the Queen lead singer.

Hot on the heels of the news that Remi Malek is to play Freddie Mercury in the new biopic of the Queen frontman came another bombshell. His Mr. Robot co-star Christian Slater has signed on to play the singers ‘father’.

Christian spoke to the Studio Exec:

This is a great opportunity. Bryan Singer is a great director and as soon as I heard Remi was hired, I knew they’d want the set. I’m a huge fan of Queen. Of course. Freddie Mercury’s upbringing in Zanzibar and India was really interesting. His background as a Parsi is fascinating. And for years he was under the influence of a man he only knew of as Mr. Queen. Freddie was the only person who could see him. It was only later that it turned out that this was his father. His long dead father. A psychotic projection.

But that didn’t happen. His father survived him. 

Ah! That’s what you think.

Queen will be released in 2018.

ADELE: ‘PEOPLE VIDEO MY CONCERTS GET HANDS CHOPPED OFF’

HOLLYWOOD – Pop star Adele has promised that she will chop off the hands of anyone who she finds videoing her concerts on their mobile devices.

Everyone knows that Rolling in the Deep singer Adele doesn’t like people videoing her concerts but now it seems she is willing to go a little further in discouraging her fans from ‘not being in the moment’. Issuing a press release earlier today, the pop diva had this to say:

I want people to enjoy my music. I want them to come to my concerts and actually be there. Be mindful of the now. And so I have hired a security firm from Mexico and if they catch you filming my performance at my concert then they will take the offending limb.

Although radical, hand amputation is nothing new in the world of pop. Rock journalist Hampton Basheer told the Studio Exec:

This is a swing back to the Eighties when video cameras first began to appear. Freddie Mercury was dead against it and so Queen had a bunch of men with machetes watching the crowd. I remember going backstage once and finding this pile of arms right next to the cocaine. It was most upsetting, but it worked. No one saw a Queen concert except via the official Queen films.

Adele will be touring throughout 2016.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SACHA BARON COHEN

HOLLYWOOD – Sacha Baron Cohen is in cinemas this week with the worst flop of his career, The Brothers Grimsby, but what do we really know about the mercurial comic genius?

The Studio Exec FACT Squad were launched onto an unsuspecting world this month to find out who in the world Sacha Baron Cohen really is.

  1. Borat, the journalist from Kazakhstan who we all enjoyed laughing at in the 2006 film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan because he was racist even though laughing at him like that was a little bit racist, was actually Sacha Baron Cohen! I know.
  2. Bruno, the gay fashion journalist who exposed homophobia hilariously in the film Bruno in 2009 though laughing at him did kind of make us a little bit homophobic too, was actually Sacha Baron Cohen! As well.
  3. Ali G, who featured in the hilarious film Ali G Inda House and presented alongside Emily Blunt at the Oscars last month and hilariously mocked the lack of diversity at the Oscars by making jokes about the Chinese… also Sacha Baron Cohen.
  4. Freddie Mercury, who had hundreds of hit singles and sold millions of hit albums including the soundtrack to the Science Fiction Classic Flash, both as a solo artist and with the popular rock group and best pub band in the world Queen, was going to be Sacha Baron Cohen, but died in 1991 before his dream could be realized.
  5. Donald Trump is not, despite rumors to the contrary, Sacha Baron Cohen.

For more FACTS click HERE.

WERNER HERZOG SHOPS AT LIDL

In which our Austrian contributor, Fitzcarraldo director Werner Herzog, discusses his supermarket shopping habits.

If one is to ever fully comprehend the depths of ennui laced with the sharp jags of hyperactive stupidity that characterizes our post-millennial world, one could do a lot worse than go to a supermarket and gaze transfixed by something that would have had Andy Warhol eyes lighting up with avarice as he contemplates another sale of one of his ‘paintings’ and perhaps a fancy new wig as a treat for himself. I once met Andy Warhol and made the mistake of asking him how the soup had tasted – my Austrian sense of humor was perhaps too refined for this famously morose pop artist. He told me it tasted like tomatoes and then did a face which seemed to say ‘what did you expect dummkopf?’ Now what was I talking about? I’ve totally lost my thread. Was it something to do with Prince? I’ve always wondered if Prince was any relation to Queen. He would have been a perfect support act for them. Or for Elvis, for that matter. A vision appears to me of Freddie Mercury and Elvis sitting on thrones in Graceland with Prince, happily playing with his train set at their feet.

Supermarkets! I was thinking about supermarkets, but as often happens when I am in supermarkets I forget completely why I am there and my thoughts trail off. Lidl is by far my favorite European supermarket. To begin with it is very cheap and often you can find strange things you can’t find anywhere else. There are always surprising gadgets like apple corers or electric mosquito rackets. Or those swing ball games with the tennis ball and the string and you hit it and it swings around a pole in a way that can only be described as ghastly. The people who work at Lidl are all without a single exception suffering from the deepest depression. They are strictly forbidden from speaking Welsh if they can speak Welsh, and are forced to try and speak Welsh if they can’t. And ridiculed for their inept efforts. It truly is a miserable place. A little bit like Wales.

In this it is not dissimilar from Walmart.

I believe that Prince worked in a Walmart as a struggling young singer song writer. But of course I might have been misinformed about all of this.

For more wisdom from Werner Herzog, Click Here.