POLICE RAID CINEMA CLUBS ACROSS UK

Police raid cinema clubs across the UK in Fight Club-esque scenes. In shocking scenes across the UK, police raid cinema clubs that have been operating in underground facilities. As police raid cinema clubs around the country in scenes similar to Fight Club, The Exec has this following report:


The First Rule Of Cinema Club

Underground warehouses, bar basements and disused churches have all been raided by SWAT style armed police in the last 48 hours. The raids have been a coordinated effort by the authorities to break up the underground organisation known as ‘Cinema Club’. But who is behind it all? Those arrested have so far remained tight lipped about the organisation and its leadership.

 

The Second Rule Of Cinema Club

Rumours of the mysterious organisation have been rife over the last few weeks as the English government has clamped down on ‘Non-Brexit Approved Culture’, banning the works of European film makers such as Truffaut, Almodovar, Haneke and Fellini. English cinemas are now only allowed to show mainstream Hollywood films about straight white men with guns, the entire James Bond franchise and the films of Guy Ritchie, which are predominantly also just about straight white men with guns.

 

I Am Jack’s Tati

In response to this extreme policy, Cinema Club has been raging cinematic guerrilla warfare by showing European and Arthouse films in unauthorized venues across the country. A disused swimming pool in Manchester that was raided was showing Fellini’s 8 & 1/2. Whereas Jacques Tati’s Playtime was shown in a dilapidated Budgens convenience store in Oxford. Scenes that resemble The Battle Of Algiers as cinema fans runs scared from the police. But in Scunthorpe rather than Algiers, and nobody dies.

 

We Have Just Lost Cabin Pressure

Nobody truly knows who is behind this clandestine cine-ster organization. One theory suggest disgruntled ODEON employees. Some believe it’s a Film Studies grad, rejected too often by Empire. There are even some who believe Mark Kermode and Mark Cousins are behind it and are in fact the same person. Whoever is behind Cinema Club, they are out there somewhere. They’re the hero everyone deserves but not the hero everyone needs right now. Eh? What does that even mean?

 

MORE ON THIS AS IT BREAKS

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT CANNES

CANNES – The Cannes Film Festival runs from 13th of May until the 24th of May in the beautiful seaside town of Cannes, but what do we really know about it?

We sent The Studio Exec FACT squad to the Croissette to find out.

1. The Cannes-Cannes dance originated at the Cannes Film Festival. It was invented by Francious Truffaut as an expression of joy when his debut film Les Quatre Cents Coups (400 Blows) won the best director award in 1959. It then became customary for ever winner to do the dance before their acceptance speech. The practice was eventually banned in 1991 after the Coen Brothers used their celebratory dance – on winning a rare sweep of the major awards for Barton Fink – to kick their arch rivals the Baldwin brothers in their faces.

2. Lars Von Trier was declared Persona Non Grata by the Cannes Film Festival following his Nazi-y remarks at the press conference for Melancholia. Cannes authorities were particularly upset because noted Jew Mel Gibson was also at the festival starring in Jodie Foster’s porn film The Beaver.

3. Clint Eastwood was the President of one of the most lively juries in Cannes history. The arguments between the jurists led in some instances to punch ups and in others to marriage. In the end the Jury awarded the Palme d’Or to Pulp Fiction. Eastwood justified his choice by saying ‘Although I didn’t care for the picture’s violence and profane dialogue, the furniture was really sexy!’

4. The red carpet down which the stars and directors walk before every major premiere is dyed red from the blood of last year’s losers, each of whom have to donate three pints of blood before they are allowed to leave the Cote d’Azure.

5. The Cannes Film Festival is divided into several different sections. There’s the main competition, then Un Certain Regard sidebar, The Director’s Fortnight and the Dardennes Brothers section, which is devoted to the films of the Dardennes Brothers.

For more FACTS click HERE.