ROME – Italian director Liliana Cavani has announced a new film biopic of the latest Pope, Pope Francis the First or  Jorge Mario Bergolgio starring Mickey Rourke. 

Francesco is seen by many as being a possible second come back for Mickey Rourke, star of Iron Man 2. The film will tell the story of the newest and 266th pontiff from his humble beginnings as the son of an immigrant to vast wealth, political power and importance, through humility and homophobia and back to banning contraception and covering up pedophilia.

Mickey Rourke says that is has been easy to prepare for the role.

It was a bit like The Wrestler what with the tanning and steroids and all. But I think I’ve done a fairly good job. And Liliana is Italian so she’s been helping me with the Argentinian. If Penn doesn’t go gay, I think I have a chance of winning something this year. 

Of course, we all know Penn will go gay, so that part isn’t going to happen, but Mickey – to cover his bases – has had this publicity shot of him cosying up to a man (pictured left) published as an obvious sop to the LGBT community of the academy.

Francesco will be in cinemas within 47 seconds.