CHIEF BRODY JAWS PREQUEL GREENLIT

BREAKING NEWS – In an announcement that has shocked Hollywood, Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment have announced a Chief Brody Jaws Prequel has been greenlit, with Spielberg himself set to direct the picture. The film will follow his mainland career as a cop on the edge and on the take. The Exec spoke with Amblin development executive, Emelia Shnart to talk about the project.

So, A Chief Brody Jaws Prequel Is In The Works. This Sounds Exciting.

We’re all very excited about the project. We were in a production development meeting and to be honest with you. We were shit out of ideas. Indy IV is in the can. Schindler’s list II is a non-runner, so I’m told over and over again. And the Jurassic World franchise is in the shitter. We had nothing left.

Where Did You Get The Idea For A Chief Brody Jaws Prequel From?

Did you know Spielberg is an ideas fountain? He just shits out ideas all day and all night. The man is a machine. The trouble is, the vast majority of these ideas are garbage. I mean, they are ass gravy, the loosest stool water ever. So we employ someone to write them down, tell the him how great they are and throw them all in a big friggin container.

You Got Desperate And Opened The Container?

Yep. We trawled through shit idea after shit idea and eventually we happened upon this little nugget. We only ran with the concept. His idea was for a cop who was friendly, inclusive and relatable. That shit aint gonna fly these days. We’ve all seen too many videos of cops beating and shooting decent people of color. So we got to work.

So Brody Is Going To Be Corrupt and Racist?

Damned straight he is. There’s a reason he got transferred onto an island full of white people. Why do you think he seems so content in the movie? He fucking loves it there.

Do You Have Anyone In Mind For Role Of Brody?

Casey Affleck. He can do morally dubious assholes better than most, know what I mean?

And What About The Part Of Ellen Brody? Originally Played By Lorraine Gary.

Florence Pugh. Why not? She’s in everything at the moment.

You’ve Given This Some Thought.

Nearly a whole afternoon’s worth.

Chief Brody Begins Filming This Fall.