5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT PAUL RUDD

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Rudd will soon be appearing in ANT-MAN, but what do we really know about the man?

Now, 5 FACTuals about Paul Rudd, actor and nice guy.

1. Paul Rudd made his name as the inventor of the popular tabletop game Jenga, which he developed with Steve Carrell, but then he gave away the patents to a children’s charity, because he didn’t think anyone should profit from humanity’s need to play stupid games way past the age when it makes sense.

2. Paul Rudd writes and directs all of Judd Apatow’s films, but he refuses to take any credit because a) he’s just such a nice guy and b) they’re all shit.

3. Paul Rudd is a fruitarian, but he won’t eat grapes because ‘they’re so cute.’ While preparing for Ant-Man, Paul ate nothing but watermelons, leading Edgar Wright to nickname him ‘Watermelon-Man.’ When a Marvel exec heard this, they assumed it was racist and fired Wright.  

4. To prepare for his role in “I Love You, Man,” Paul Rudd murdered fifteen homeless people.

5. Paul Rudd’s father was an airline pilot, and Paul traveled frequently with him. Once, when his father was drunk, Paul put the Boeing 747 into a spin, an event which became the real-life inspiration for the Denzel Washington film “Flight.”

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TARANTINO VOWS NEXT FILM WILL BE FROM SPIDERBABY’S SCRIPT



TEXAS – Quentin Tarantino has decided to show his support for his girlfriend Lianne ‘Spiderbaby’ MacDougall – who is currently embroiled in a plagiarism row – by announcing his next feature film will be taken from a script she wrote. It will be the first time Tarantino has directed a film scripted by someone other than himself. ‘It’s really exciting,’ said the Motormouth genius behind Four Rooms

I couldn’t believe that this was her first script. It was so mature and compelling. It tells the story of a trouble alcoholic commercial airline pilot who during an accident manages an almost miraculous crash landing. But when crash investigators start digging into what happened, Whip (that’s the name of the pilot) is going to have to confront his own demons and faces a stark choice.

When asked how far along production was, Tarantino had this to say:

Early days yet. We’re just discussing casting. I was like this is a part Denzel Washinggton could play with his eyes closed and Spiderbaby was like ‘Nooooo’. I don’t know why she was so agitated, but anyway, I’ll get Sam Jackson to do it instead.

Flight from an original screenplay by Lianne Spiderbaby MacDougall will start filming late in the Fall. 

 

   

FLIGHT: REVIEW













Denzel is drunk and high.

Denzel is drunk, high and really high.

Denzel is drunk, high but getting lower.

Denzel is drunk, high and upside down.

Denzel is drunk, high and in a field.

Denzel is unconscious.

Denzel is conscious.

Denzel is recovering from being drunk and high.

Denzel is drunk.

Denzel is sober.

Denzel is drunk.

Denzel is sober.

Denzel is drunk and high.

The End.

DENZEL WASHINGTON DESTROYS HOUSE VIA THE POWER OF PRAYER

MISSOURI – Fans of Oscar contender and film star Denzel Washington were celebrating today at the news that he had destroyed a house through the power of prayer.
The house – in Springfield, Missouri –  belonged to one Vincent Chambers a blogger who recently reviewed Mr. Washington’s new film Flight, and complained that the Robert Zemekis directed drama was ‘sanctimonious twaddle which lost its way in the third act’.
Apparently the Malcolm X star had taken exception to the review (published on the internet site StuffWhatWeThinkAboutStuff) and specifically Mr. Chambers’ comments about the film’s ‘overbearing religiosity’. Washington is a committed Christian, who has often spoken on its influence in guiding him in his career, telling him – for instance – to unnecessarily remake The Taking of Pelham 123. The actor let it be known that he was going to pray all day yesterday for God to smite Mr. Chambers and at 11.21 last night the critic’s residence was destroyed although fortunately he was catching a late viewing of Les Miserables.
Rev. Halibutt said that although his church would never condone the use of prayer for destructive purposes it did at least show that ‘Christianity shits on Scientology from a height when it comes to getting shit done.’

ZEMECKIS: POLAR EXPRESS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY

Dead eyes

HOLLYWOOD – ‘We could have made it realistic, but I wanted the kids to be really terrified,’ said Robert Zemeckis, taking a break from a junket about his new film Flight to talk for a moment about Polar Express recently voted the scariest non-horror movie ever made. ‘I hate Christmas. It’s a poisonous time of commercial greed and my idea was Tom Hanks would be the Freddy Krueger of Christmas.’
The power of the film was shown recently when a cinema in North Carolina accidentally screened Polar Express instead of Paranormal Activity 4. The shocked patrons fled the cinema, pausing only to vomit or void themselves.
I put it to Zemeckis that the technology was not yet there to make convincing CGI movies using motion capture but he vigorously disagreed.
‘People talk about uncanny valley, but that’s bullshit,’ he said, chewing a corn dog. ‘The problem we had was we modelled the body movements on the actors, but for the faces and the eyes we modelled those off suicides who had been fished from the Hudson River. That was our mistake.’