2014 CANNES LINE UP ANNOUNCED

PARIS  – The 67th Cannes Film Festival line up was announced today in Paris, France by Gilles Jacob and Thierry Frémaux, and there were some big surprises.

Opening Film: 

Space Nugget (3D), Dan Harmon

In Competition:


My Wife the Leper, Gundi Baba

Tedious China, Xi Ling

My Grandmother’s Dog Has Cancer (Again), Zoltar Vochkin

Soup. Croutons. Soup. Abdellatif Kechiche

Knight of Two Cups, Terrence Malick

Not Just a Pretty Face, Ryan Gosling

Il Mio Debut Numero 3, Asia Argento

Sex and the City 3, Ken Loach

Mr. Potter and the Chamber of Prequels, Mike Leigh

I Haven’t Had a Glass of Clean Water for Five Years, Soso

Sosoko

25 Year Old Asshole, Xavier Dolan

Are You Being Served? Tommy Lee Jones

Fox Kisser, Alba Wonka

Admit it, You Thought I was Dead, Jean Luc Godard

Malaysia’s Last Chocolate Biscuit, Brillante Mendoza

My Father’s Racist Vagina, Lars Von Trier

Closing Film:

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (Andy Fickman)

VENICE FILM FESTIVAL: HERE I COME

LAX – So that’s it I’m off to Venice (not the beach), the one in Italy, with the canal and the gondolas and shit. Like Las Vegas but you know, not quite as good.

And I’ll be covering the Venice Film Festival which is there, because, well, basically I’m banned from Toronto because Canadians have like zero sense of humor when it comes to shaving their balls when they sleep and sexting the results. I’ll be keeping a diary and tweeting on a fairly irregular basis, but mostly twerking. 


If you have any questions, or dirt you want me to dish, let me know. And in the meantime, there’ll still be stories from the world of showbiz and films and tweets of an irreverent but substantially heart warming nature.

CANNES LINE UP INCLUDES MICHAEL BAY AND EMMERICH

PARIS – At midday today in Paris, the line up for the 66th Cannes Film Festival was announced and there were some genuine surprises among the films battling it out on the Croisette.

The inclusion of such American blockbusting directors as Michael Bay, Roland Emmerich and Gore Verbinski will raise a few Gallic eyebrows. Not to mention comedy kings, Frank Coraci and Shawn Levy muscling their way towards the Palme d’Or. 
Click down to read the full list.

IN COMPETITION

Opening Film
Baz LUHRMANN
THE OKAY-ISH GATSBY (H.C.)
1h45
***
Michael  BAY
PAIN AND GAIN
1h44
Frank CORACI
UNTITLED ADAM SANDLER
1h45
Paul FIEG
THE HEAT
2h05
Roland EMMERICH
WHITE HOUSE DOWN
2h
Amat ESCALANTE
WON’T WIN
1h45
Asghar FARHADI
LE PASSÉ (TRANSLATORS DON’T GET PAID ENOUGH)
2h10
James GRAY
THE IMMIGRANT
2h
Mahamat-Saleh HAROUN
GRIGRIS
1h40
JIA Zhangke
TIAN ZHU DING
(I FART IN YOUR MOUTH)
2h15
KORE-EDA Hirokazu
SOSHITE CHICHI NI NARU
(SEE WHAT I CAN DO?)
2h
Shawn LEVY
THE INTERNSHIP
3h07
Takashi MIIKE
WARA NO TATE
(4TH FILM THIS YEAR)
2h05
François OZON
JEUNE ET FRENCHIE
1h30
Alexander PAYNE
NOT AS GOOD AS ELECTION
1h50
Roman POLANSKI
WHAT IS YOUR EXTRADITION POLICY?
1h30
Steven SODERBERGH
LAST FILM EVER (I PROMISE)
1h58
Paolo SORRENTINO
LA GRANDE BELLEZZA
(WE WANT MORE MONEY)
2h30
Gore VERBINSKI
THE LONE RANGER
1h58

MICHAEL CAINE BAD FILM FESTIVAL ANNOUNCED

LONDON – The first Bad Michael Caine Film Festival is to begin on Friday at the BFI on the Southbank, London, UK. Organizers say there’s not need to go online to book tickets or even inquire about it: Just turn up in your best Michael Caine gear and lets ‘have a laff!’ The film festival – which lasts for three weeks – will include many favorite bad films made by the Cockney character actor in his endless quest to buy bigger and nicer houses.

The festival kicks off with a gala showing of Jaws IV: the Revenge which will be attended by Sir Michael Caine himself. Of the widely deplored sequel Mr Caine once said, ‘I’ve never seen it, but I have seen the house it bought.’

The festival will continue with showings of:

Sunday, 2nd December:    On Deadly Ground
Monday, 3rd December   Ashanti
Tuesday, 4th December    Goldmember
Wednesday, 5th December Shiner
Thursday, 6th December Bullseye!
Friday, 7th December  Get Carter (remake)
Sunday, 9th December Sleuth (remake)
Tuesday, 11th December Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Wednesday, 12th December Miss Congeniality
Thursday, 13th December Bullet to Beijing
Saturday, 15th December Cars 2
Tuesday, 18th December Water
Wednesday, 19th December Blame it on Rio
Thursday, 20th December Swarm
Friday, 21st December Beyond the Poseidon Adventure
Saturday, 22nd December The Fourth Protocol