VIN DIESEL CHANGES NAME TO VIN HYBRID

HOLLYWOOD – Fast and Furious star Vin Diesel announced today that he is changing his name to Vin Hybrid.

Speaking to the Studio Exec earlier today via ‘car phone’, the artist formerly known as Vin Diesel explained his decision.

I know that I am associated with oil prices and gasoline because of my work on the Fast and Furious franchise, and people properly watch Riddick and think this guy doesn’t have much of a social conscience, but neither of those things are really me at all. I care deeply about the environment and believe we all have to do our bit to try and alleviate man made climate change. So I decided that I would change my name and get away from the idea of pollution that goes with it.

Vin Hybrid it is then.

Yeah. I pondered some alternatives. Vin Electric, Vin Solar Power and Vin Sustainable were all in the hat, but Vin Hybrid came out top.

What about my suggestion?

I’m sorry Exec. I appreciate the thought you put into it but no one is going to see a film starring Vin Wind Power.

Fast and Furiosa will be out in 2018.

CHARLIZE THERON FIRST IMAGE FROM FAST AND FURIOSA

HOLLYWOOD – Mad Max: Fury Road star Charlize Theron has begun filming on a series mash up of Mad Max and Fast 8, provisionally entitled Fast and Furiosa.

Charlize Theron hit a new action cinema vein with her superb performance in George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road. Now she is to star Fast 8 which promises to be a mash up of the two franchises. The first image hit the web this morning of Universal’s new picture. Although details are vague, we do know that Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Tyrese Gibson and Michelle Rodriguez will return in their roles, and F. Gary Gray will direct.

Charlize Theron drove into the Studio Exec driveway to talk EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

This is going to be a great film. I love acting like I’m driving. It is one of the best jobs an actor can do. You just have to sit there and turn the wheel. I’m using a shift gear, which is a bit of a trick, but other than that, it’s really easy.

Fast and Furiosa will be released in 2018.

JIM JARMUSCH SIGNS ON FOR FAST AND FURIOUS 8

NEW YORK – With a the shriek of engines and the stink of testosterone mixed with engine oil, Fast and Furious 7 has no sooner roared into view than the distant thunder of the revving motors of Fast and Furious 8 can be heard in the distance as Jim Jarmusch is recruited as director.

The cult New York cineaste of Ghost Dog, Dead Man, Down by Law and  Only Loves Left Alive is well known for his laconic sense of humour and slow meditative paced masterpieces like Down By Law and Mystery Train, the shock haired auteur is at first glance a strange fit for the brain dead adrenalin grease monkey high opera of the Fast and Furious franchise. However, Jarmusch told the Studio Exec that he had been talking about directing a Fast and Furious film for years:

I’ve always wanted to… you know … do a film like … a fast you know and … furious kinda … I don’t know if it was Kierkegaard or Lou Reed who said that a nightmare is just a private fantasy but life can be confusing at times and well… What was the question?

What changes do you envisage making to the franchise?

None, absolutely none. I mean, I don’t see the point in doing a bunch of car chases. I mean that part will go. But these characters, they probably are going to spend a lot of time sitting around waiting and being laconically droll, so we should do that. And all the stuff about criminals and double crossing, that’s going to go too.

Oh!

And the title. I mean Fast and Furious? I think Slow and Droll will be better. Then we don’t need the seven any more.

Right but people like the action. I mean isn’t that the point.

Yeah, that’s a point. I suppose. But you know, what about something new. I mean why not a film all about people drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. When are we going to see that? Huh?

2003.

What?

Coffee and Cigarettes was made in 2003. People just sit round, drink coffee and smoke cigarettes.

That sounds brilliant. I’ve got to see that.

You made it.

Very possibly. The early noughts are a bit hazy.

Fast and Furious 8 is due to begin filming sometime you know… whenever.