WOODY ALLEN TRILOGY PLANNED

NEW YORK, BARCELONA, LONDON, ROME – Writer, wit, film-maker, clarinet player and international playboy, Woody Allen talked EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec today about his post-Batman plans.

“I’ve been working on a series of scripts for a trilogy,” said Woody Allen, laughing. “Once I’m done with Gotham, I want to get back out there and do some pictures set in European capitals starring sexy ladies, but each film with only three or four good jokes, five jokes tops.”

The director of Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Midnight in Paris and To Rome with Love, Woody – who was named after his mother’s favourite flavour of whiskey (“I was lucky, my brothers Peaty and Strong Caramel After Taste less so”) – said:

Working on Batman has been a complete departure for me, and I’ve enjoyed it but I want to get back to what I do best: disappointing my fans. I have three scripts ready to go which I’ll be making as a trilogy. Scarlett Johansson is back for Wednesday Afternoon in Oslo, then Mila Kunis will be strangling an English accent in To Coventry with Animosity. And finally I have the wonderfully talented Eva Green in Penelope Jennifer Stuttgart. 

However, Mr. Allen will first be finishing his forthcoming Batman movie which stars Billy Crystal as the caped crusader.

Woody Allen’s Batman is due for release in 2016.

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE ENTIRELY GAY

SPARTA – The upcoming sword and sandal sequel 300: Rise of an Empire starring Eva Green, Sullivan Stapleton and Rodrigo Santoro is going ‘to be entirely gay’, director Noam Murro has promised.

The new film departs from the original with some dazzlingly choreographed dance routines and some bitchy ‘This is Sparta’ style dialogue added by Sex and the City scribe Darren Star.

Mr. Star commented exclusively to The Studio Exec:

The original 300 directed by Zach Snyder was relatively gay – aimed mainly at a lot of teenage boys who didn’t know they were gay and sublimated it into a love of watching male torsos contorted in slow motion violence, with the occasional spurt of blobby fluid. But with 300: Rise of an Empire we’ve decided to absolute gay it up. 

Star Eva Green said that she was principally attracted to the gayness of the piece.

If you read the history books, you’ll see that Sparta was a society based entirely on homosexuality, with the women being kept in semi-servitude as basically baby breeders. My character is kind of the fag hag of the piece, who basically wants to hang out with all the gays and dance to One Direction

However not everyone is pleased with the new direction. Frank Miller – the author of the original graphic novel and noted conservative – said that the gayness was a betrayal of the purity of his vision of men stabbing each other in their nakedness, repeatedly, until everything was wet.

300: Rise of an Empire is bursting.

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN DIRECTS THE WOMBLES MOVIE

LONDON – Fresh from the success of  Interstellar, Christopher Nolan is to write and direct The Wombles: Wombling into Darkness.

Based on a BBC children’s program from the 1970s, the film tells the story of a group of creatures known as the Wombles, who live in burrows under Wimbledon Common and collect the litter left by humans, recycling it for their own use. Casting is already well under way for this live action version, with Michael Caine to play Great Uncle Bulgaria, Christian Bale in the role of the engineer Tobermory and Gary Oldman will play the sleepy shirker Orinoco. The plot so far is very sketchy although Nolan has promised that the film will include a different take on the origin story of the Wombles and will be much grittier and more realistic.

Nolan told Studio Exec:

Caine
The Wombles are of our age, being the precursors to the Green movement. However, the environmental disasters we face – extreme weather, the melting of the ice caps, the iniquity of huge corporations – means that their solutions are basically inadequate. In the face of these pressures, Orinoco has become a drug addict and Great Uncle Bulgaria is beginning to use methods which have some similarities to the moral quandaries of the NSA.
Uncle Bulgaria

Eva Green is also in talks to play Miss Adelaide, the love interest. Although there is no confirmation as to who will direct the film, Zach Snyder is the current favourite. 

‘He does have the kind of restraint this piece needs,’ said an obviously confused Nolan.

The Wombles: Womble into Darkness is due to start filming in 2015.