THE ENTOURAGE CENTIPEDE

HOLLYWOOD – Following the huge success of the Human Centipede series and the successful crossover of the Entourage TV show to the big screen, it was only a matter of time before The Entourage Centipede was announced.

The Entourage Centipede will feature Hollywood star Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier) and his coterie of hangers on and pals being sewn together with agent Ari (Jeremy Piven) getting pride of place at the front and the hilariously apt Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) eating recycled food somewhere in the middle.

Director and writer Tom Six spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I’ve done the mad scientist bit, then I did the grungy voyeur and then I did the prison in the latest Human Centipede, but I’ve always had this idea that The Human Centipede was actually a metaphor for Hollywood. And when I saw the Entourage movie, I couldn’t help but think this isn’t just shit, this is shit someone else has eaten and is being shat into my mouth from their anus! Which is basically the script for the new movie.

How did you get everyone on board?

Well, I spoke to Doug Ellin and I explained my concept to him and how I thought it would fit in with his story and his characters. Basically the idea is Vincent gets the role in a new horror movie, only to find out the crazy European director is actually doing things for real. At first he was skeptical, but this slow smile spread across his face as the MDA I put in his drink took effect and before I knew it we had a deal. He said he already had a script for Entourage 2, but with the addition of just a couple of my scenes, it would work perfectly.

The Entourage Centipede will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

MARK WAHLBERG TO RUIN THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN

HOLLYWOOD – Following his destruction of The Gambler, Mark Wahlberg has sworn that he will not rest until he has destroyed The Six Million Dollar Man as well.

Mark Wahlberg is due to star in the remake as Steve Austin (in the original played by Lee Majors), an astronaut who is almost killed when the experimental airplane he is test flying crashes and his body is rebuilt to the cost of Six Million Dollars! Now with super strength and super speed which despite looking really slow is actually really fast, Steve goes on to fight crime as secret agent, controlled by the mysterious Oscar.

Wahlberg turned up at the Studio Exec bungalow and started throwing his weight around.

I screwed up The Gambler, I screwed up Planet of the Apes. I screwed up The Italian Job. And now I’m going to ruin The Six Million Dollar Man.

But why Mark? Why?

Because I can! I’m sick to death of people telling me my films are rotten and I make a much better associate producer than I do an actor. I want to be taken seriously. And so I’m going to ruin a beloved TV show or remake a really good movie badly until the critics start taking me seriously.

Why don’t you just try and make a good film?

I did. I made The Fighter. But then Christian GODDAMN Bale got the Oscar. What’s the point? That skinny asshole! No, I’m going to basically hold the film watching community ransom until I start reading some good reviews. Ted 2 would be a place to start.

That’s not going to happen.

Then I’m going to keep at it.

Why are you doing this?

Because I’m deeply unhappy. Deeply. Can’t you see, I’m not a bad person? I just want to be loved. To be loved and understood. Jesus. Come on. The Happening was seven years ago. Please, can’t you just forget it ever existed. Please I swear to God, I’ll never make anything that bad again. Please. Can’t I ever be forgiven? I associate produced Entourage. That has to count for something!?

Six Million Dollar Man will be released in 2016.

MARK WAHLBERG TO TAKE UP ACTING

HOLLYWOOD – World famous co-producer and executive producer and former underpants rap star, Mark Wahlberg is going to try his hand at acting, he announced today.

Mark Wahlberg came over to the Studio Exec bungalow for an EXCLUSIVE conversation and to reveal his change of career path:

I love the film and TV business and I’m very proud of the work I’ve done producing Entourage and Boardwalk Empire but now I feel the time has come for me to take a more creative role in front of the camera.

The announcement was met with some confusion as the Contraband and How to Make it in America producer has appeared in a number of films as a cast member but Wahlberg laughingly dismissed all that as ‘not really counting’.

Wahlberg said:

Oh sure, I stood in front of the cameras and said some words and stuff but, shit, that wasn’t really acting. Half the time I thought we were just getting the lighting levels and  was there to save money and a stand in. Then I go to the premiere and there I am walking through a movie. Did you see M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening? Me being in the movie as an actor? Now that was a twist!

‘I first got the idea when I was standing in front of Christian Bale during The Fighter and he was behaving really odd and afterwards someone told me that was acting,’ the In Treatment co-producer said. ‘I thought I’m going to do this. If Christian can do, why shouldn’t I be able to? Tell me that. Why?’

His first project is going to be King Lear, directed by Steven Soderbergh.

King Lear starts filming Wednesday and is due out Friday.