SEAN SPICER TO HOST THE OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – Donald Trump’s former press secretary Sean Spicer will host the 90th edition of the Motion Picture Academy Awards in 2018.

Sean Spicer’s journey from despised turd to semi-ironic despised turd continues. Following his appearance on the Emmys, the Melissa McCarthy lookalike is set to host the 90th Oscars ceremony on March 8, 2018. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, Sean was full of beans:

I am sooo excited. There’ll be singing and dancing. I love movies and fame and what not. To tell you the truth when they fired me I thought that’s it for the Spicer. Who is going to want me now? But little did I know that this is America and even when people think you’re a vacuous piece of lying shit, they still want ruffle your hair as long as your rich and famous.

What are you going to do?

I’m going to do that joke about how there are millions watching the show. And then I’m going to say ‘period’ like I did in real life and I was serious. And everyone is going to laugh. It’ll be funny because it’s true. Also, I’d like to do some political humor. I could tell that joke about how Hitler never gassed anybody. Hey, if Billy Crystal and Woody Allen can say ‘Jew this’ and ‘Jew that’, I don’t see why I can’t!

Are you worried about taking on such a big role as a relative amateur?

That’s what we all thought about Donald Trump and now look where we are! Ha ha. No but seriously. If James Franco and Ann Hathaway can do it, I’m sure I’ll be fine.

How does Donald Trump feel about your job?

He’ll appear as a surprise guest! And we’ll all ruffle his hair. It’ll be hilarious. Other guests include Steve Bannon and the Mooch are going to do a tap dancing/ contortionist act. David Duke is doing a skit about diversity. Who know there were that number of different types of blond hair? And Scott Baio and Kid Rock are going to sing ‘Imagine’ while pissing on a picture of Hillary Clinton! But you know, ironically.

The Oscars will be on March 8, 2018.

 

EMMYS DON’T ACTUALLY EXIST

HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed today that the awards known as Emmys don’t actually exist.

For a few weeks now you’ll have noticed a lot of headlines about the Emmys and posts and articles about possible winners. However, it was revealed today that there is actually no such thing as an Emmy and the whole thing was originally invented by Italian dictator Benito Mussolini as a bizarre propaganda stunt. Emmys expert Jorden Parrahedron told the Studio Exec:

Italy knew that a war was coming and they would soon have to choose sides. Although ideologically partnered with Nazi Germany, Mussolini himself was wary of facing the combined might of the Allies and the United States. And so as a way of distracting them he had his psychological warfare unit invent the Emmys. Unfortunately for the Italians, it had no effect on the outcome of the war, but the Modern Family cast and crew have reaped the benefits for years.

The Emmys are to be announced on September 18.

EMMYS FASHION RECAP

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec loves awards shows like the Emmys for one reason and one reason alone – booze. But apparently people are interested in fashion so here goes. 

Zooey Daschenal wore some clothes. Claire Danes looked delightful in clothes. Heidi Klum was daring in her choice of clothes. Zosie Mamet from Girlz stunned people by wearing clothes. Kerry Washington also wore clothes. But perhaps the talking point of the night was Kate Bosworth, who graced the red carpet in clothes. 

Holding up the team for the men were Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad who turned up wearing clothes but in a funny twist clothes that were different from the clothes they usually wear in Breaking Bad. Jeff Daniels also chose clothes.

EMMY RESULTS IN FULL

emmy results


HOLLYWOOD – Cut and paste is a wonderful thing and thanks to IMDB, here are the results of the Emmys in full, and -if you want to save time – Breaking Bad and Modern Family win everything.


Outstanding Drama Series
Winner: “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family” (2008)
Outstanding Comedy Series
Winner: “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad” (2009)
Outstanding Miniseries or Made for Television Movie
Winner: “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family” (2013)
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Winner: Michael Douglas “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family” (2013)
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Winner: Ellen Burstyn for “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family” (2012)
Outstanding Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special
Winner: “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family” (2013) – Steven Soderbergh
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Winner: James Cromwell for “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad” (2011)
Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special
Winner: “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family” – Abi Morgan
Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series
Winner: “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad” (2005)
Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program
Winner: Nobody gives a shit (2004)
Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
“Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad”
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Winner: Anne Gunn for “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad”  (2011)
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Winner: Jeff Daniels for “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad”  (2012)
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Winner: Bobby Cannavale for “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family”  (2010)
Outstanding Reality Competition Program
Nobody gives a shit
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Winner: Anna Gunn (again?) for “Breaking Bad” (2008)
Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
Winner: “Homeland” (2011) – Henry Bromell(“Q & A”)
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Winner: Laura Linney for “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad” (2010)
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Winner: Jim Parsons for “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad”  (2007)
Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series
Winner: “Modern Family” (2009) – Gail Mancuso(“Arrested”)
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Winner: Julia Louis-Dreyfus for “Modern Family”/”Breaking Bad” (2012)
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Winner: Tony Hale for  “Breaking Bad”/”Modern Family”  (2012)

EMMYS 2013 NOMINATIONS IN FULL


LOS ANGELES – The 65th Emmys Nominations were announced this morning at a hotel. There were some surprises – no nominations for Game of Thrones or Mad Men for instance – and after the jump we have the full list of nominations. 


Outstanding Lead Actor in A Drama Series who Makes Drugs
John Hamm
Bryan Cranston
Peter Dinklage 

Lead Actress who has Mental Problems/is a bitch
Claire Danes
Robin Wright
Vera Farmiga

Oustanding Reality-Competition Series 
Seriously who gives a shit? 
A Shit who gives Seriously?
Gives a shit Seriously?
Who Seriously shit gives A?

Outstanding British Posh Piffle with Bogus Historical Detail and Nostalgia for Nobs
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Mad Men
Game of Cards

Outstanding Comedy Series that Rhymes with Bodern Bamily
30 Rock
Louis 
Girls 
Modern Family
Veep

Outstanding Fantasy Series that Kills Lead Characters with Alarming Frequency
House of Cards
Game of Thrones
House of Thrones
Game of Cards

Best Miniseries or Movie that should Actually be competing in the Oscars
Behind the Candelabra 
Behind the Candelabra
The Candelabra (Behind)
Behind the Candelabra

The Trophies will be awared on the 22nd September in Los Angeles.