HOLLYWOOD – The release date for Michael Bay‘s new Tranfsormers 4 movie isn’t until June 2014 but already an official plot synopsis has been released and Studio Exec has managed to obtain an email from director/producer Michael Bay to his new star Mark Wahlberg, who has been set the almost impossible task of trying to match up to the previous titans of the franchise Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.


hey Marky Mark, it’s the Bayster. 
Wooooooo! Pcrsshhhhhshshhh! 
I heard from your guy that you were a bit concerned about your role in TRANSFORMERS 4 so I thought I’d reassure you. 

  1. Alan said you were worried “about the ‘acting’ involved, as you hadn’t done much ‘acting’ in the past.” No sweat man. This is the TRANSFORMERS buddy, no acting involved. Like zero. 
  2. RE. your question about character: what character? You’ll just be like you. You can use your own face and maybe we’ll change your hair, but that’s it as far as character is concerned. Oh and clothes, or what we in the Biz call ‘costume’. Don’t dizzy your little head about that technical jargon. What I’ll do is put a hard bodied blond next to you in most shots and everyone’ll be staring at her tits. They won’t even know you’re there. 
  3. Now, third point. Or point 3 as Alan called it. Plot. BOOOOOM! Hey. You are OVER THINKING this. Transformers, Decepticons, Good versus Evil, something something freedom, something something epic battle. You just get to the gym, cos you will be running around a lot. 

So I hope this has put some of your worries to rest. I’m psyched about this new film. Pschhhhhakkkakkakkkskakkkakakshhhhhhhi tinkle tinkle. Uuuuuuurammammmammamamammammbbbkkrshhhshshshshs. 

Michael Bay