BREAKING NEWS – The Marvel Hawkeye series storyline has been leaked online. Starting at the end of the Korean War, the Marvel Hawkeye series storyline will follow the title character after he leaves his MASH Unit.

Marvel At Hawkeye and Corporal Klinger


Following Hawkeye after he leaves the Army and his MASH Unit behind, he travels to Seoul with Corporal Klinger and his wife. While in Seoul, Benjamin Hawkeye takes up archery and discovers his natural talent for the sport. Soon, he’s representing the USA in Archery at the Olympics, winning silver and missing out on gold to Bullseye (Colin Farrell).


SHIELD On The Radar


In the second episode, Hawkeye is recruited into SHIELD by his old Army buddy, Radar. Radar now works for SHIELD in communications and soon the two are battling against their nemesis, Major Margaret ‘Hotlips’ Houlihan. Elliot Gould turns up in a cameo role but leaves quickly when he realizes this is the TV MASH and not the movie.


Non-Stop Court Action


In the third episode, the estate of the late Robert Altman takes the makers of Hawkeye to court. It’s because they’re not seeing a penny from the characters that first appeared in Altman’s movie. The majority of the episode will be a ranting monologue from Altman’s lawyer about ‘those bastards at Fox’ and then ‘those corporate fuckers at Disney’.


Post Endgame


The show then jumps forward to the events immediately after Endgame. There we find Hawkeye at a crossroads in his life. He takes semi-retirement where he spends the rest of his days appearing in the occasional Neil Simon film adaptation and Woody Allen film. The Woody Allen films are all before that ‘you know’… business came out in the news. But let’s not get into that right now. That’s a whole other can of worms.


Hawkeye Premiers Soon On Disney+


HOLLYWOOD – Ted Cruz and Donald Trump plus their spouses are to star in a remake of classic swingers comedy Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.

With the Republican primary kicking up some of the highest figures in TV debate history, it’s no surprise that Hollywood has come a calling. Although many were talking about a superhero franchise, the word has come down that Donald is a huge fan of Paul Mazursky’s 1969 swingers comedy Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.

A studio insider told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We thought it would be challenging to get the candidates to agree to appear in a movie which involves wife swapping, but it turns out they were peachy keen! We thought it wouldn’t be presidential but apparently that boat sailed a long time ago.

The official synopsis reads:

Melania and Donald Trump are a happily married couple until Donald decides to run for president. He thinks that it will fill a hole in his life, but in reality it is just more frustrating and boring than his life already is. The only pleasure he gets from it is socializing with arch-rival Ted Cruz and his wife Heidi. Entering the final convention with no clear winner, deliberations take a turn for the kinky when the candidates and their wives decide to have an orgy. This remake of a classic tale of contemporary sexual mores will take on a new relevance as they do to each other what they’ve all done to the American democracy.

Don & Heidi & Ted & Melania will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.