PETER JACKSON TO REMAKE THE NEVERENDING STORY

HOLLYWOOD – No sooner had the final battle cries of The Hobbit died out than Peter Jackson has embarked on another fantasy franchise: a remake of the 1984 Wolfgang Petersen film The NeverEnding Story.

The official synopsis reads:

Based on the Michael Ende novel, the film will tell the story of Bastian Bux (Elijah Wood), a young boy who is bullied at school and finds his only escape in books and in particular a book which transports him to a land called Fantasia ruled by a sick princess (Cate Blanchett) who lives in an ivory tower with no sense of irony.  She summons a young warrior called Atreyu (Orlando Bloom) to set and defeat the Nothing (George Lucas in his first major acting role) which threatens the land.

The Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson told the Studio Exec:

I am very excited to get away from Middle Earth if only for a little while. At first I was a bit cautious about returning to fantasy but I read the book and fell in love with it. I was already a fan of the film. Especially the Limahl song [sings] ‘NeverEnding Story, do-de-do-de-de-do-de-de-do!’

Yes. Good. Fantastic. STOP! Now, how will you approach the film? 

At first I thought it’s going to be impossible to slim down into one film. I wanted to do a simple 90 minute story. But then I realised, who am I kidding? The title is the clue. So we’re going to make fifteen films back-to-back and no one in New Zealand need never go hungry or on holiday again.

The NeverEnding Story Parts 1-16 will be released over the next twenty years. 

HIDDEN GEMS: 27. LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

Hidden Gems brings to light little known film gems which have somehow slipped through the collective cinematic consciousness. You’re welcome. This week Lord of the Rings.

JRR Tolkien’s mammoth fantasy novel Lord of the Rings has for a long time been considered unfilmable. Ralph Bakshi tried in 1978 but that was a cartoon and so doesn’t really count as a movie. John Boorman wanted to adapt the film but made Excalibur instead. Finally, at the end of the century Peter Jackson, a New Zealand filmmaker famous for gore fests like Bad Taste, decided the time had come. He gathered Ian McKellan, Elijah Wood, Sean Bean, Liv Tyler, Salah from Raiders, the guy who married the hot gal from Lost and Viggo Mortensen and together embarked on an epic adventure.

They would brave orcs, trolls and big spiders as they sought to return the ring of power to Mordor where they would destroy it.

‘One does not simply walk into Mordor’ a meme once said, and so it proved. Many problems beset the making of the film, but are now shrouded in mystery because mysteriously no interviews or behind the scene footage survives. Famously Andy Serkis’ Gollum character didn’t work at all and his performance was so poor, CGI was used for the first time to replace him. Similarly, Orlando Bloom’s Elf Legolas required digital enhancement to add vitality.

Only one ring to rule them all?

It is a miracle what came out is so good. Jackson grounds the fantasy in a realistic setting and uses his kinetic storytelling to push Tolkien’s tale on. He also manages to imbue it with some emotional content. Also, he does well to get rid of the songs. Though it is regrettable that Jeff Bridges as Tom Bombadil hit the cutting room floor, this moves the quest on at a clip. The special effects are amazing and the music by Howard Shore recalls a classical Hollywood orchestral score.

Unfortunately, Harvey Weinstein pulled the plug on the projected sequels. And so like the Bakshi cartoon the ending of the Fellowship of the Ring is an anti-climax. The road goes ever on apparently. There are reports that Jackson would like to complete the trilogy, but more recently he has renounced the whole idea of returning to Middle Earth, saying ‘Why would you need more than one film?’

For more Hidden Gems CLICK HERE.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE TO PLAY ELIJAH WOOD IN BECOMING FRODO

HOLLYWOOD – Daniel Radcliffe is to play Elijah Wood in a new biopic: Becoming Frodo.

Daniel Radcliffe has been cast to play fellow actor Elijah Wood in a new biopic of the Lord of the Rings star: Becoming Frodo. Radcliffe spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the challenges of the role:

I’ve been watching Elijah all my life as an actor. Watching him grow and develop from the days of Flipper and The Ice Storm. As a fellow child actor, I’ve looked at Elijah as role model and inspiration. So it really makes sense to me to make this movie. In a way it’s an act of gratitude.

What will the film be about?

We will cover his career from the start to the filming and triumph of Fellowship of the Ring. We were worried about portraying him as a Hobbit because of the shortness thing. But luckily I’m really really short, naturally. So that won’t be a problem.

And how does this fit in with the film Elijah Wood is making about you: Becoming Harry?

This is where it gets interesting. If this film is a success, we’re thinking of making a sequel. This would include me playing Elijah making Becoming Harry. Charlie Kaufman is already writing a draft.

Becoming Frodo released in 2018.

ELIJAH WOOD TO STAR AS DANIEL RADCLIFFE IN BECOMING HARRY

HOLLYWOOD – Elijah Wood is to play Daniel Radcliffe in new movie.

A new movie documenting Daniel Radcliffe’s early career stars Elijah Wood. The Lord of the Rings star will write and direct the movie also. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec:

I’m majorly psyched about the role. Radcliffe is for all of us a pole star. He’s the actor by which all us other child actors take our bearings. Like the pole star. I’ve just said that, haven’t I?

What’s the movie about?

The film charts the rise of Radcliffe. The struggles he had to overcome in order to achieve greatness. The main difficulty will be making me into a small child again, but we’re using Hobbit technology, forced perspective and all that, so we’ll be okay. The hope is that the movie will come off and then we can follow his journey, finishing with the triumph of Imperium.

Becoming Harry will be released in August.

MARY POPPINS V NANNY MCPHEE GREEN LIT

HOLLYWOOD – Emma Thompson and Emily Blunt are both onboard for the new Disney mash up McPhee V Poppins.

The new super Nanny mash up is on with Emma Thompson and Emily Blunt going head to head in a childcare smack down McPhee V Poppins, which pits the two care providers against each other to save Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe.

Director Zach Snyder spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Basically Nanny McPhee and Mary Poppins exist in the same P.L. Travers universe and so it was only a matter of time before we got the two together. I thought of the idea when I was talking to Kevin Smith and we were on acid and watching Mary Poppins and a Nanny McPhee marathon, including the sequel that no one actually watched.

So what’s the story?

Well, essentially, Mary Poppins leaves the children – Dan and Emma – and Nanny McPhee turns up and tries to dance with penguins and chimney sweeps and the like. Basically stealing Mary Poppins ideas and Mary Poppins as you can imagine is none too pleased. But they have to join forces to defeat Elijah Wood.

Elijah Wood?

Shut up.

McPhee V Poppins will be released in 2017.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

ELIJAH WOOD TO PLAY MARTIN SHKRELI IN ‘ASSHOLE’

HOLLYWOOD – Elijah Wood has signed on to play drugs executive Martin Shkreli in a new film directed by Brian dePalma and tentatively entitled Asshole.

Martin Shkreli first caused furore when his company bought the rights to a series of medicines and then overnight hiked the prices by huge amounts. In seeking to justify his actions he only made people hate him more and before a congressional hearing managed to achieve the almost impossible by making Congress look morally superior to something else in the room. Brian dePalma immediately announced his plans to make a film based on Martin Shkreli’s life:

It is going to be a thematic sequel to Scarface. This punk thinks that America is there for the taking and he starts after, without caring who he destroys or what. The only difference is that Al Pacino’s character had some sense of moral sincerity, even at his most heinous.

Casting proved difficult:

I needed an actor with the courage to confront the role. After all most stars don’t want to be aligned to some one this repugnant. Christian Bale had done American Psycho so I was keen on him reading the treatment, but he’s a bit too old for the role. But then someone showed me a tape of Elijah Wood in Maniac and I thought, if we can tone down the sympathy we feel for the murdering psychopath then I think Elijah would be perfect for the role.

Elijah Wood is currently in preparation for the role.

He’s on a strict regimen of being an asshole. He spends all his time reading Ayn Rand and listening to back to back audio books by Glenn Beck. Every morning he has a personal trainer come in and they go around New York burning $50 bills in front of homeless people and visiting hospices and cancer wards to laugh at the sick and the dying. Yesterday, he came round to my house and brought flowers and I was worried this guy is too nice, but I was later told he’d taken them of the grave of a child. So I tihnk we’re going to be fine.

Asshole will be released in 2017.

 

GAME OF THRONES GUIDE FOR NOVICES

WESTEROS – So everyone has been talking about Game of Thrones and now Season 5 is on and you’ve not watched, or read the 23,467 pages of the George RR Martin novels Songs of Fire and Ice.

Especially for you the Studio Exec FACT squad has prepared a quick catch up guide so you won’t look like a complete fool as you watch the new Season of Game of Thrones with your ‘friends’.

1.  When watching the character called the Imp (Peter Dinklage) DO say ‘He’s my favorite’; DON’T say ‘Elijah Wood’s aged.’

2. If there is a scene of sexiness DON’T say ‘I didn’t know this was porn’; DO say ‘What a refreshing take on Tolkienesque fantasy tropes!’

3. If you really like a character and storyline DON’T say ‘wow this is an interesting storyline and fascinating character’; DO say ‘They’re going to die horribly’.

4. When watching an apparently unrelated story taking place somewhere hot involving someone called Daenerys Targaryen, DON’T say ‘This bit is dull’; DO say ‘What a lovely pair of dragons!’

5. When confused by the mass of characters, the number of strange almost normal names, the weird places, the way everything seems to be happening but nothing ever actually happens, the apparent arbitrariness of the plot and the endless, endless wandering about, DON’T say ‘This is bullshit’; DO say ‘what a wonderfully complex almost Tolstoyan reinvention of the fantasy genre’.

For more FACTS click HERE.

PETER JACKSON TO REMAKE THE NEVERENDING STORY

HOLLYWOOD – No sooner had the final battle cries of The Hobbit died out than Peter Jackson has embarked on another fantasy franchise: a remake of the 1984 Wolfgang Petersen film The NeverEnding Story.

The official synopsis reads:

Based on the Michael Ende novel, the film will tell the story of Bastian Bux (Elijah Wood), a young boy who is bullied at school and finds his only escape in books and in particular a book which transports him to a land called Fantasia ruled by a sick princess (Cate Blanchett) who lives in an ivory tower with no sense of irony.  She summons a young warrior called Atreyu (Orlando Bloom) to set and defeat the Nothing (George Lucas in his first major acting role) which threatens the land.

The Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson told the Studio Exec:

I am very excited to get away from Middle Earth if only for a little while. At first I was a bit cautious about returning to fantasy but I read the book and fell in love with it. I was already a fan of the film. Especially the Limahl song [sings] ‘NeverEnding Story, do-de-do-de-de-do-de-de-do!’

Yes. Good. Fantastic. STOP! Now, how will you approach the film? 

At first I thought it’s going to be impossible to slim down into one film. I wanted to do a simple 90 minute story. But then I realised, who am I kidding? The title is the clue. So we’re going to make fifteen films back-to-back and no one in New Zealand need never go hungry or on holiday again.

The NeverEnding Story Parts 1-16 will be released over the next twenty years. 

JUSTIN BIEBER USED AS A SKIN HEAD MASCOT

LONDON – In a week of Justin Bieber related news Studio Exec have heard further rumors that the young Master Bieber has been ‘recruited’ by a skin head gang who ‘carry him around like a doll’ and use him as a mascot before they listen to Oi music and get into fights.

Friend and former skin head mascot Elijah ‘Frodo’ Wood sympathized with Bieber:

Once these people get hold of you there’s nothing you can do to get away. They always choose small celebrities and basically kidnap them and sometimes they arrange for tea parties with rival gangs. Do you think I wanted to make Green Street?   

Tom Cruise was also kidnapped and used as a mascot and some say he is still undergoing the ordeal even today, but we couldn’t possibly understand what people mean by that. Earlier today in London Master Bieber sought help from a passing photo-journalist but was bundled into a car before the ‘paparazzo’ could help. From the photographs it is clear Master Bieber is distraught and has been forced to wear a golf club warmer. ‘That’s part of the tradition,’ said Wood. ‘It humiliates the mascot and stops him from escaping.’

‘Please help me photo-journalist!’

PIPPIN AND MERRY GET STAND ALONE MOVIE: PIPPY

WELLINGTON – Lord of the Rings director and animal murderer Peter Jackson has announced that he will begin filming a new project in the Autumn aimed to give fans of Middle Earth an extra two slices of Hobbit fun.

Pippy will tell the story of much loved ‘comic’ relief Merry and Pippin from the original Lord of the Rings saga. Guillerrmo Del Toro was due to direct, but later revealed he was just messing with Jackson and had no intention of doing anything of the sort. ‘It will be like Ewoks: The Battle for Endor, but probably not that good,’ said Jackson. ‘But it’ll be cheap. I can assure you of that.’

One of the main problems was getting Dominic Monaghan who plays one of them and Billy Boyd who plays the other to agree to it and find time in their busy schedules. No, I’m sorry I can’t keep a straight face. Can we do that again?

Monaghan and Boyd said they were delighted to ‘revisit Hobbiton’.

‘These are characters that we have grown to love as much as the public,’ they said in perfect unison. ‘We can’t wait to put on our furry feet and set off on adventures. We only wish Elijah was coming with us, but apparently he’s making a sitcom about an imaginary dog!?’

The plot is yet to be revealed but Jackson was adamant it would not include dragons nor would it make use of their ill-judged attempt to bring back the Black and White Minstrels.

OUTRAGE OVER MINI MAGIC MIKE

LOS ANGELES – Today the Modern Shire Mini Coalition or MSMC held a press conference regarding the filming of director Victor Salva’s sequel to the 2012 film Magic Mike, currently titled Mini Magic Mike. Spearheaded by Elijah Wood, the group fights for the rights of little people across the nation.


“It’s just sick, what they’re doing,” said Wood. “To expose little people in such a way is degrading. We expect to be treated like anyone else.”


Members of URSPESHUL, a content group consisting of middle aged soccer moms working together with the MPAA were also present. It was they who first brought the film to Wood’s attention after a test screening. Annie Gorgenshertz, the founder of the group, was red-faced as she spoke: “They look like little children! America has to protect it’s children. It is obviously not a priority of Hollywood, it makes us sick that a studio would finance such a film. The great Jack Valenti must be rolling in his grave.”
Steven Soderburgh, ‘director’, declined the sequel. The studio then called in Victor Salva, whose credits include Clownhouse, the Disney-financed Powder, and a prison play entitled Tito’s Cambodian Adventure. We caught up with him at a local McDonald’s: “Well… I can understand some of their points, they do have meaty little hands.” he sipped his Coke and continued: “I am telling a story here, an emotional story.” 

The film’s star Verne Troyer spat: “Children? I’m a grown man! And screw Elijah! He just wishes he looked as good in ass-less chaps as I do!”

The film will co-star Warwick Davis, and a rumored cameo by Tom Cruise. It is currently set for a Summer 2014 release.