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ANYA TAYLOR JOY FARTED AT VENICE

‘BREAKING’ NEWS – The Exec can exclusively reveal how Anya Taylor Joy farted while attending the Venice Film Festival red carpet events. It happened at the build up to the premiere of her new film, directed by Edgar Wright, Last Night In Soho. Anya Taylor Joy farted as co-star Matt Smith walked the red carpet with her.

Anya Taylor Joy Farted – Not Living Deliciously

The star could be heard pumping out the farts through her bright pink Dior designed dress as she strode up the red carpet. Paparazzi were kept well back from the star, which was a good thing. Matt Smith who co-starred with Anya in Last Night In Soho, could be seen mouthing the words ‘Jesus fucking Christ! Who dropped their guts? Anya?’ as he greeted her at the glitzy event. The ex-Dr Who actor was seen gagging repeatedly, as he walked beside the flatulent star.

Where’s The Shitter?

The two met up with the Shaun Of The Dead director, Edgar Wright who could be seen holding his nose. Initially, he pointed at Matt Smith, who shook his head in disgust and pointed at his glamorous co-star. She looked at Edgar and said with no shame, ‘Yeah, that was me, Eddie my boy. I can’t help it. I was drinking Guinness last night and then went for a curry. My guts are playing havoc with me today and I’ve had the squirts four times already. Where’s the shitter? Because I gotta to go again.’

Funyuns And Chess

Throughout the entire film Anya sat at the back of the theatre. She ate Funyuns, only stopping occasionally to raise a leg and force a trump. Then she shouted out chess moves at the end of each loud and noxious fart. ‘Knight takes Pawn. Hooray! And ‘I’m Castling my Kasparov!’ The film ended and the polite audience rose to its feet to applaud. She swaggered menacingly down the aisle, throwing Funyuns like confetti as she went.

French Flatulist Film

Anya announced at the Q&A afterwards her next role will be in an all-female biopic. The story of the French Flatulist, Joseph Pujol, better known as Le Petomane, who rose to fame as a professional farter. She is being coached by Daniel Day-Lewis, who is also a keen flatulist. It will be called Gaslighting.

Last Night In Soho Is Released In Cinemas In October

AMAZON TO MAKE KRULL TV SHOW

HOLLYWOOD – Amazon signs on to make a TV show based on 80s fantasy movie Krull.

Following on from the news of a Lord of the Rings TV show, Amazon have announced that it will also start shooting a TV remake of Krull. The 1983 British fantasy film is a cult classic that has long demanded a remake. Initially, Edgar Wright looked set to remake the film but as with Ant-Man and the musical of 10 Rillington Place, the project came to nothing. A statement from Jeff Bezos’ company stated:

We at Amazon are very proud to be involved in bringing Krull back to life. We can assure fans that the Glaive is safe in our hands.

The show looks set to be a multi-season epic, aimed at snatching the Game of Thrones audience. A $210 deal won Amazon the rights. And already rumors are rife about possible casting, with Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane already signed on to reprise their original roles. Voices have also mentioned Ryan Reynolds and Rosario Dawson as possible A-listers in line for respectively Colwyn and Lyssa with Dwayne the Rock Johnson in the mix as Cyclops.

For those who don’t know, Krull takes place in a time neither past nor future on the planet Krull. A young prince Colwyn is to marry Princess Lyssa from an opposing clan. The marriage will bring peace but a monstrous villain called simply the Beast kidnaps her. He has a flying mountain fortress. Colwyn must seize the Glaive – a kind of impractical throwing star – and gather a band of unlikely warriors to do battle. And rescue Princess Lyssa.

Krull will shoot in 2018.

ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY TO MAKE EDGAR WRIGHT ANT-MAN DOCUMENTARY

HOLLYWOOD – Surrealist director Alejandro Jodorowsky will direct a documentary chronically the ill-fated Edgar Wright Ant-Man film.

Famed El Topo director Alejandro Jodorowsky turns his attention to another filmmaker in a new documentary about Edgar Wright’s unfinished Ant-Man movie. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Jodorowsky had this to say:

I love cinema. But more than cinema even I love the impossible cinema of the incomplete. No film is more pure than the unmade film. This was seen already with my version of Dune. Then there was even Rob Schneider’s version, which I would have loved to have seen. Edgar’s version of Ant-Man is another of these invisible visions. A silent echo of a master imagination, which we now only hear hushed voices speak of.

Edgar Wright signed on to direct Ant-Man for Marvel and he and Joe Cornish wrote a screenplay. However, when Marvel wanted to have a rewrite Wright wrote it couldn’t be rewritten. Jodorowsky continues:

Wright had worked on Ant-Man for eight years. It was a project close to his emotional core. The vision he pursued looked to change the history of cinema as we know it. Imagine what Paul Rudd, in the hands of a master such as Wright, could have become. How he would mould him. Change him. Instead Peyton Reed came along and just made yet another Marvel film. I was sick to my stomach when I saw it. It is a missed opportunity to put beside Stanley Kubrick’s Napoleon movie and Steven Spielberg remake of The Human Centipede.

Alejandro Jodorwsky’s next film is Barnacles.

PLEASE STOP USING JOHN DENVER

HOLLYWOOD – Movies have been asked to please stop using John Denver as some sort of cultural touchstone.

The world is asking Movies to stop using Coloradoan guitar picker John Denver as some kind of easy way of winning semi-ironic cheese points. When Ben Wheatley referenced Annie’s Song in Free Fire, it felt like a witty throwback, but since then works by John Denver have appeared in Alien: Covenant, Baby Driver and most recently Kingsmen: The Golden Circle.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, the World had this to say:

At first it was kind of a nostalgic buzz. Take Me Home Country Roads, Annie’s Song and Rocky Mountain Mountain High are all great songs and the innocence of the production bespeaks happier times. But placing them in frequently gruesome or inappropriate contexts is getting old fast. Look, sure I have bigger fish to fry. My emotional weather is messed up and I’m actually melting in some places. But this is kind of getting to be a cliche and I want it to stop. If you really need to counterpoint something in a postmodern way, just pick someone else. I mean, who’s Don McLean? Chopped liver?

Ben Wheatley, Edgar Wright, Matthew Vaughn and Ridley Scott have all refused to comment.

BRAIN FACE DELAYED

HOLLYWOOD – Marvel have confirmed that Edgar Wright’s Brain Face has been delayed following what is being called ‘conceptual stasis’ by an insider.

Fans of the comic book have long waited for a movie version of the cult graphic novel series, but it looks like they will have to wait some more. For those unfamiliar with Brain Face, Brain Face follows the adventures of research biology post-grad Ali Harwood who in a cycling accident finds his brain entirely shifted to the front of his face. Despite surgery, Dern is left for dead, but he escapes the mortuary to return to his home where he constructs a new identity for himself as Brain Face.

Comic expert Xavier Poulis told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY what exactly is appealing about the Brain Face books:

Most of the time a character who had suffered a trauma like Brain Face would then have superpowers to compensate for the terrible accident, but in the case of Brain Face, his brain has just slipped down in front of his face and that’s really it. He doesn’t have any new powers at all and in fact he can only speak in a very muffled voice, has difficulty breathing and is unbelievably difficult to look at while eating.

Nicolas Cage had been in talks about he role as is legally mandatory for any role in a Hollywood movie, but insiders believe that the studio really want a younger actor like Josh Hutcherson to play the role. Hutcherson told Studio Exec:

Brain Face is like THE comic book I read most when I was growing up. Man, I know that guy inside out. What interests me about the whole idea is how it’s really a metaphor for living in a world that doesn’t understand you and expects something more from you.

Brain Face first appeared in a one off story called ‘Get You with Frontal Lobes!’ that appeared in a 1987 anthology of New Directions. Brain Face then appeared in a series on its own and defied generic ordinariness with its dismal realism. ‘The editions wouldn’t have adventures as such,’ Poulis says.

He would just encounter a lot of hostility, find it difficult to hold down a job and spend a lot of time in his room, despairing of living a normal life. In that way it connected with a wider audience than was first thought probable.

But until a script has been finalized it looks unlikely that the film will be made anytime soon.

Brain Face has been postponed indefinitely.

SIMON PEGG AND EDGAR WRIGHT REVEAL NEW COLLABORATION

LONDON – Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright revealed today that they would be collaborating on a new project together, a remake of Gaspar Noé’s nihilistic masterpiece Enter the Void.

Star Trek’s Scotty told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We were kicking around ideas for a while. We had done horror/comedy with Shaun of the Dead. Then we did action film/buddy-cop/comedy with Hot Fuzz. And finally we did a sort of Science Fiction/comedy with The End of the World. So there was a long thought process about what to do. And then we went away and wrote down a list of our three favorite films and came back to compare them and guess what Enter the Void was top of both our lists.

The original 2009 French film tells the strange hallucinatory story of a brother and sister who orphaned as children live in Tokyo, he making money selling drug s and her stripping at a neon nightclub. A lot of the film takes place in a hallucinogenic haze with a roving camera representing (perhaps) the soul of a dead character. There are scenes of explicit hardcore sex and some gory body horror, not to mention an overwhelming sense of dread and doom which pervades the whole affair.

Pegg is pegged to play the brother – ‘it’s the funny role’ – but admitted there will be some quite radical changes: ‘We want the tone to be lighter and I don’t think we really need the incest angle to be quite so strong.’ The Scott Pilgrim Vs the World director chipped in:

We want to make the two main characters brother and brother instead of brother and sister, and get Nick Frost in. Already the film is going to be very different territory for the two of us, but having Nick on board as well will make this a little like having a comfort blanket. This doesn’t mean that the Cornetto trilogy is becoming a quadrology. Although it could be the start of a new trilogy I suppose. Of ultra depressing art films/comedies.

Comedies?

Yeah, well obviously the tone can’t be quite so grim. And we’re going to ditch a lot of the weird stuff, the sex and violence and what not. And the nihilism and the void. We don’t really do void.

When asked what he thought of the duo remaking his film, French director Gaspar Noé said: ‘Ppppffffffffffffff! You know. C’est la vie!’ and shrugged.

Enter the Chuckle Brothers will be released in 2016.

EDGAR WRIGHT REVEALS WHY HE LEFT ANT-MAN

HOLLYWOOD – British film director Edgar Wright has revealed for the first time the real reason he left the Marvel project Ant-Man: his commitment to practical effects.

Speaking exclusively to the Studio Exec, the Sean of the Dead director spoke for the first time of his differences with Marvel producer Kevin Feige:

[quote]Marvel has become a very well oiled machine. You have to remember I was working on the Ant-Man script long before Iron Man and The Avengers had come out. Before Thor and Captain America too. So Marvel were very open to the direction I was taking, which was going to rely on practical effects exclusively. I hate CGI and would never use it in a film of mine. Of course that meant I had to construct huge sets and film Paul Rudd from a distance with a long lens so that he’d look small. I also had him on a diet and made him sleep in this contraption, kind of the opposite of those medieval torture machines, you know the rack, the opposite of that. [/quote]

You mean….?

Yeah, instead of stretching him, it would crush him into a smaller version of Paul Rudd. If you watch Prince Avalanche you’ll actually see his size shifts as the film progresses. Worse than Kate Winslett in Titanic. Ha ha. Well, he complained a little and Marvel began to talk about using CGI. I said no and our arguments got progressively more heated. I suppose the straw that broke the camel’s back was when I fired Rudd.

You fired Paul Rudd?

Yeah. I wasn’t satisfied with his performance. I thought instead of having a man with the powers of an ant, I could more easily train an ant to act convincingly as a man. And for once my option would have been cheaper. But we, me and Marvel, disagreed. It became obvious that Marvel wanted Ant-MAN, whereas I was making ANT-man. So in the end we had two incompatible visions, but there should be no hard feelings. I wish them luck. Although I wish they hadn’t replaced me with that hack Haneke.

Michael Haneke’s Ant-Man will be released in 2015.

5 FACTS WE LEARNED FROM COMIC-CON

SAN DIEGO – The Comic-Con Convention continues to provide amazing copy, with some amazing news coming out for film and TV fans. Here’s what we have learned so far.

Continue reading “5 FACTS WE LEARNED FROM COMIC-CON”

EDGAR WRIGHT TO REMAKE KRULL

HOLLYWOOD – Following his exit from Ant-Man, Edgar Wright – the visionary director who brought us Shaun of the Dead and the almost good Scott Pilgrim Vs the World – has tweeted his willingness to remake Krull, the 1983 fantasy film starring Ken Marshall, which many say is better than Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai.

Last year, the Studio Exec wrote the following:

Steven Spielberg – making his first public pronouncement after having become the President of the Jury at Cannes – reviled film programmers everywhere for neglecting a film he rates as ‘Better than Lawrence of Arabia, but not quite as good as Red Sonja.’Dissident Chinese artist Ai Weiweiweiwie tweeted: ‘Without #Krull, Rien!’ And noted Slovakian philosopher Slavoj Zizek argued in his essay ‘The Glaive: a five pronged phallus!’ that Krull ‘shits on Vertigo FROM A HEIGHT!’

The popularity of the film however has also provoked a backlash from Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane. ‘I’m in it,’ said Neeson to express his argument against the film’s rediscovery.

The list of powerful advocates now includes Matt Damon (a self-professed Krull-ite), Ben Affleck (who thanked Krull just after Canada) and the prestigious British Film Institute which has promised to screen it ‘some time in the next five minutes’.

Now Edgar Wright is on board, he will have a stellar cast of A-listers willing to work for free. Ring the bells, spread the news, Krull is coming to a cinema near you.

**But there’s always the chance it will be sh*t.**

MICHAEL HANEKE TO DIRECT ANT-MAN

HOLLYWOOD – Following the departure of Edgar Wright, rumour has been rife about who will succeed him in the director’s chair for the Marvel movie Ant-Man, but now we have a name: Funny Games director Michael Haneke.

Kevin Feige – announcing the decision – said:

We are absolutely delighted to have a film-maker of Mike’s calibre on board. He has a visual style that fits the Marvel universe and knows exactly what we want to do. We’ve had many great directors – Joss Whedon, and Kenneth Branagh, and we also had Jon Favreau.

What do you think Haneke will bring to the franchise?

Primarily his sensibility. He has that European outlook which will really go well with Ant-Man. Plus he worked well with Paul Rudd.

Haneke worked with Rudd?

Yeah, in The White Ribbon, he had an uncredited role. Rudd loves his art house. He was raped in a Gaspar Noé film, I forget which one.

But isn’t it a risk giving such a big budget to a director unfamiliar with the genre?

Unfamiliar? Are you kidding me? For starters, Haneke loves comic books, his agent says. And he showed he could handle this kind of material in Benny’s Video and Spider-man.

Yeah. Wait, what?

Don’t you know he did three Spider-Man films? The last one wasn’t great shakes, but…

That was Sam Raimi.

Haneke borrowed Sam Raimi’s name as his nom de plume. He didn’t want his Cineaste credentials besmirched.

But I thought Raimi…

Couldn’t direct you to your table if he owned the restaurant. No, it was all Haneke. From Army of Darkness on.

Wow.

Yeah.

Ant-Man will be released in 2015.