REVIEW: NO TIME TO DIE

REVIEW – With the long anticipated domestic release of No Time To Die, we tell you if you should like it or not. Read our review now to decide how you feel about No Time To Die. Tell your family, tell your friends they have to read this. They are incapable of independent thought.

No Time To Die

Clocking in at a bum-numbing 4 hours and 52 minutes, No Time To Die is the longest film in the James Bond franchise. But it’s still way shorter than Marvel’s Endgame and that made a shit load of money, so swings and roundabouts.

No Time To Eye-Eye

The starting sequence is a thrill ride of action packed references to previous Bond films. There’s a motorized Gondola chase, a racist red-neck Sheriff and a Zombie Judi Dench turns up to bend Pierce Brosnan over a desk to fist him as he squeals his way through The Winner Takes It All by ABBA.

No Time To I-Spy

The titles aint what they used to be. Long-gone are the days of naked women covered in fluorescent paint. And Duran-Duran warbling over the top, like adolescent Republicans at a Karaoke bar. These titles take themselves seriously, as does the theme song. Can anyone remember what the theme song sounds like? I can’t, and I’ve just watched the film. There are lots of musical references to previous Bond films. Alice Cooper’s Man With The Golden Gun theme is in there, as is Radiohead’s Skyfall theme. There’s also a reworking of the James Bond theme, played on guitar by Jimmy Page which lasts even longer than the film.

Dr No Character Development

The villain does a wonderful version of Crazy Little Thing Called Love from his glamorous evil hideout and Daniel Craig looks like a baked potato in a tuxedo. He’s ugly, but you’d still smother him in sour cream and push him into your face. But who cares about all of this because it’s Bond. So if you like Bond, you’ll go see it and if you don’t like Bond, you won’t go and see it. Either way it doesn’t matter. There’s far too much money to be made out of these things regardless of what we say or do.

No Time To Die Is Showing Somewhere Within 20 Yards Of You

MARTIN SCORSESE PRESENTS TWELVE PART NEW ROMANTICS DOC

NEW YORK – Martin Scorsese today announced that he would be releasing a 12 part documentary on the 1980s pop phenomenon of the New Romantics.

Following his critically rated History of the Blues musical documentary as well as films on George Harrison and Bob Dylan, Scorsese has decided to turn his attention to the musical inventiveness of such groups as Heaven 17, Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran.

The Aviator and Shutter Island director told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Coming right in the midst of the grimmest period in British history, following on from the spit drenched nihilism of punk and played out to the background of labor strikes and the threat of imminent thermo-nuclear destruction, synth-pop was some of the most authentic and gritty music I’ve ever heard. Bands such as Visage and The Human League came out of the slums of Birmingham and London and they were all wearing eyeliner.

Why is this period so important to you?

I’ve always loved music, second only in my love to films and even then. The second British Invasion which saw groups like Culture Club break into the US charts and ask hard questions of the culture. Questions like ‘Do you really want to hurt me?’ and ‘Don’t you Want me Baby?’ and even ‘Who’s the dandy highwayman?’

Featuring interviews with Gary Numan and Annie Lennox, the 12 part series will have a different director for each segment. Scorsese explained:

Clint Eastwood is a huge fan of Tubeway Army and will be directing the episode devoted to them and Gary Numan, while Werner Herzog will be doing a profile on German group Kraftwerk. Spike Lee is to contribute a documentary on Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Howard Kelly.

Martin Scorsese’s History of New Romanticism will be shown on HBO tomorrow night and then every week for a year.