TOM HIDDLESTON AND TAYLOR SWIFT REUNITE FOR SISTERS OF MERCY BIOPIC

HOLLYWOOD – Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift are teaming up to play Andrew Eldritch and Patricia Morrison in a new movie about the Sisters of Mercy.

Although no longer a romantic couple, Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift will be appearing again in a new film, directed by Duncan Jones. This Corrosion tells the story of iconic goth band The Sisters of Mercy. Andrew Eldritch formed the band in the 80s in Leeds, England and had a break out international success with the album Floodland in 1987.

Hiddleston told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I’ve always been a huge fan of The Sisters of Mercy. Especially First and Last and Always. So I jumped at the chance to make the film. I’d already played a musician with Hank Williams in I Saw the Light, so it was not difficult to get back into it again. I read the script while I was still seeing Taylor and it was natural that we look for something to work together on. She wanted to play Patricia and so that’s what is going to happen. We’re both pros so I don’t see there being any difficulty. And anyway, the relationship between Andrew and Patricia was also quite difficult so that can just feed into it.

Duncan Jones was equally sanguine about bringing Hiddleswift back together:

Tom is a great actor. And Taylor is supremely talented. I’m sure if we have any difficulty we can just ‘shake it off’. Ha ha.

This Corrosion will be released in 2022.

MARK RUFFALO TO STAR IN THE GRUFFALO

NEW YORK – After his success as one lumbering giant, Mark Ruffalo has signed up to play another, the loveable Gruffalo in a new feature length adaptation of the much loved Julia Donaldson book.

Director Duncan Jones said that many people had suggested Ruffalo ‘just because of the way it would look on the poster, and finally that was convincing enough for me.’
Ruffalo himself seemed enthused by the project:

You know the thing is as an actor, a serious actor I’m always looking for roles that challenge me and rhyme with my name, and unfortunately there aren’t many characters who rhyme with my name. And that’s really all we’re in this for. So when Duncan phoned and said ‘Ruffalo is the Gruffalo’, how could I say no?

The live action film will be filmed over six years and in seven different continents and has been tentatively budgeted at $350 billion, but Jones is confident that the money is in safe hands. ‘Sure we could probably cure cancer with that kind of moolah, but Mark Ruffalo’s name rhymes with the name of his character,’ Jones said. ‘That has to count for something.’

Duncan Jones will next be working on a biopic of chanteuse Sade, which will star Tom Hardy.

The Gruffalo will be released in 2015.

OUTLAND REMAKE PLANNED

HOLLYWOOD – Sean Connery is set to star in an Outland remake to be directed by Duncan Jones, the Moon and Source Code director and son of ‘Rock Star’ Elton John, or David Bowie.

Peter Boyle is also set to return in the remake as well as Steven Berkoff, who has said that his performance in the 1981 masterpiece marked the zenith of his career.

The original film – directed by Peter Hyams – is set on Jupiter moon of Io and tells the story of a lone marshal’s attempt to impose order on the mining colony, in a High Noon – like stand off. A dangerous drug given to the miners to improve production is causing psychotic episodes and the Marshal is the only man who seems to care.

Jones told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

This is going to be a shot for shot remake. I want it to be as close to the original as it can possibly be. I’m not interested in adding anything at all. I don’t want any CGI, or jokes. I want the original cast as far as possible. This is going to be like Gus Van Sant’s version of Psycho, except it isn’t going to have Vince Vaughn in it and it is going to be good. We have alerted authorities and Colin Farrell is being kept away.

Studio Exec has learned that there is rival remake with Shoot ‘Em Up director Michael Davis at the helm. However, we hope that this is just some kind of parody film site wheeze.

The Outland Remake will be released in 2016.

 

RUNNING TOWARDS THE FUTURE AWKWARDLY IN HIGH HEEL SHOES

HOLLYWOOD – Duncan Jones’ new film Running Towards the Future Awkwardly in High Heel Shoes is due out in early 2013 and features Emma Stone running beside Jake Gyllenhaal. 



‘I’ve always wanted to make a film where a man and a woman run from danger ever since I saw The Peacemaker, where George Clooney and Nicole Kidman ran from an exploding car,’ said David Bowie’s young father. ‘Her shoes were relatively flat, but her dress was ridiculous.’
Running Towards the Future Awkwardly in High Heel Shoes (While Inappropriately Holding Hands) tells the story of Joe Ordinary (Jake Gyllenhaal) who is thrust into a conspiracy he doesn’t fully understand when he meets Persephone Outòfhisleague who will wear a cocktail dress and be asked to run a lot and sometimes scream, while gradually begrudgingly falling in love with Joe.
‘There are some rules we have to respect,’ said Emma Stone. ‘I always have to run behind Jake and I should look a little mussed up. At some point, I’ll do something ballsy as a sop to the feminists in the audience.’

Running Towards the Future Awkwardly in High Heel Shoes will be released in 2014.