DONALD TRUMP PROMISES TO DEPORT STING

NEW YORK – In what is seen as a vote winning move, Donald Trump has said that if he is made President his first act following his inauguration will be to deport British born singer Sting.

The business tycoon turned Reality star Donald Trump promised yesterday that if he were made President he would prioritize the immediate deportation of musician Sting. He told a packed rally at Iowa State University.

I will deport Sting. He’s an alien, he’s an illegal alien. He’s an Englishman. And he’s in New York.

Donald Trump denied that the policy change was due to the advice of Governor Sarah Palin who endorsed him recently and who is set to star with Mr. Trump in a new film project.

Trump told reporters:

Sting comes here. He’s not a friendly guy. Don’t Stand so Close to Me, he sings. Why not? What’s so good about you that we can’t stand so close to you? He favors prostitution. He’s lived in our country for decades and has never become a citizen and he’s so brazen about the illegal status of his residency that he sings about it on a hit album.

Donald Trump will be released in 2018.

SARAH PALIN AND DONALD TRUMP TO STAR IN DUMB AND DUMBER 3

HOLLYWOOD – Dumb and Dumber 3 is back on with new stars Donald Trump and Sarah Palin.

They haven’t yet won the White House but they’re already making inroads into Hollywood. News came in today that Sarah Palin and Presidential candidate for the Republican Party Donald Trump have signed up to star in Dumb and Dumber 3. The sequel will see the two ‘politicians’ take over from Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in the lead roles. Former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin dropped by the Studio Exec Bungalow to talk about the film:

We’re going to play Harold and Lloyd’s out of town cousins. People are always saying that I’m stupid and Donald’s a buffoon and I thought why not take that and run with it. You remember when I went on Saturday Night Live with Tina Fey? Well, this is the same thing.

Aren’t you worried it will ruin your reputation?

Reputation? Ha! Listen they’ve been laughing at me ever since I said I wanted to run for office. Well, as Gandhi once said ‘First they laugh at you and then they get angry and then you win’ and he should know. After all he did invent the bicycle!

But what if you become Donald Trump’s running mate and then win. Will you still do the film?

Listen when I set my mind to it, I go all the way, unless I get bored. Or something better comes up. So definitely yes-ish.

Dumb and Dumber 3: in Da WHITE house will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.