GARY OLDMAN DIRECTS KAJAGOOGOO BIOPIC

LEIGHTON BUZZARD – Gary Oldman is to direct his second feature film with a biopic of British Eighties pop group Kajagoogoo.

Too Shy represents a radical change in direction for Oldman, whose first film Nil By Mouth was a grimly realistic portrayal of domestic violence, starring Ray Winstone.

Ray Winstone returns, however, in the role of Limahl the egotistical lead singer of the group which had hits with ‘Ooh to Be Aaah’ and ‘Too Shy’ before exploding in an orgy of hair spray and recriminations. Jonah Hill will play bassist – and arch rival – Nick Beggs.

The Firm and Dracula actor explained exclusively to the Studio Exec:

The Eighties is a period that fascinates me. I first made a real name for myself playing Sid Vicious in Alex Cox’s Sid and Nancy. I wanted to go back to the Eighties and explore the rise and fall of the kind of one-hit-wonder group that was so prevalent in those days. Though I wanted something more epic. That’s why I went for Kajagoogoo, because they’re more like a two-hit-wonder. 

Ray Winstone seems like an odd choice for Limahl. What made you offer him the part?

bow wow wow (Ray, far left)

Well, you say that but what you don’t know about Ray is he used to play keyboards for Bow Wow Wow and so he knows that world intimately. They kicked him out just after they released ‘Go Wild in the Country’ and he’s been very bitter about it. 

The film ends with Limahl leaving the band. Would you guys consider a sequel to follow Limahl’s solo career?

Wow. That would be a lot bigger in scope than I’m used to. Perhaps. I mean it could be a [sings] Never Ending Story-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-laaaaaaaa.


Too Shy is due to start filming this month.

GARY OLDMAN’S DRAMATIC WEIGHT LOSS CAUSES CONCERN

HOLLYWOOD – Dracula and Darkest Hour star Gary Oldman has appeared in public with an astonishing weight loss.

Friends of Sid and Nancy actor Gary Oldman has caused concern with his quick weight loss. One source close to the actor told the Studio Exec:

It isn’t quite at the intervention stage, but we’re worried. When we last saw him, in the Darkest Hour, he looked well out of shape. I mean fat, bald and grey. At death’s door practically. We didn’t recognize him. Then we saw him again recently and it was like FUCK! What the fuck happened to you? But you know Gary…

I do.

He was just like… chill.

We phoned Oldman up and asked him to talk truth to the EXEC. He said:

Oh, shit. I see what has happened here. People saw me in Churchill mode for Joe Wright’s movie and then they saw me at awards and what not, and they jumped to conclusions.

Cut the shit Oldman. What’s going on?

Pilates.

And that’s it?

Swear to God.

Darkest Hour is in cinemas right now.

 

 

COPPOLA ANNOUNCES APOCALYPSE NOW PREQUEL IN THE WORKS

HOLLYWOOD – Following on from the critical and commercial success of Twixt, Tetro and Youth Without Youth, Francis Ford Coppola has turned his attention to his long gestated Apocalypse Now prequel, provisionally entitled Apocalypse ASAP.

‘We have a script, that I’m very pleased with,’ said Coppola, speaking from his vineyard and olive oil export/import business headquarters. ‘The one thing that has been holing us up has been to find a star of the caliber of Marlon Brando to play the young Kurtz. But when I saw Shia LaBeouf in Lawless I knew I had my man.’

The official studio synopsis reads:

We meet Col. Kurtz as a boy organizing orchard raids with the other children and playing in fields of gardenias. This idyll will change when the Vietnam War breaks out and – now a man and career soldier – Kurtz gets in trouble with his the brass after organising a blues/rock concert when they wanted a rock/blues concert. He becomes a Green Beret – he was ‘the oldest to hump it round that course’ – and then heads of into the jungle for larks.

Coppola has already stated that he wants Apocalypse ASAP to be lighter in tone to Apocalypse Now. ‘For instance, in Apocalypse Now, The Doors gave us this brooding disturbing soundtrack. For Apocalypse ASAP, I’ve asked One Direction to come up with something jaunty and fun,’ said Coppola.

However, Shia LaBeouf has yet to confirm his participation. In a statement issued via his agent, Mr. LaBeouf commented:

I would be very excited to work with the legendary director of The Godfather and Apocalypse Now, but less excited to work with the director of Dracula and The Godfather Part Three and I really don’t want to work with the director of Twixt and Jack.  

Coppola seemed unperturbed by the setback.

‘I have an ace up my sleeve,’ he said pulling at his beard with both hands. ‘And his name is Hayden Christensen. Cheap my friend. Very cheap.’

Apocalypse ASAP starts filming sometime in 2014.