DON JOHNSON AND STEVE GUTTENBERG CONFIRM POLICE ACADEMY: ASSIGNMENT MIAMI VICE

MIAMI – Don Johnson and Steve Guttenberg are to team up for the best mash up movie of the 80s EVER: Police Academy: Assignment Miami Vice.

Director, Alan Parker, said that the film will partly be a remake of Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach ‘but as we had Don interested we changed the script so we could bring in his character of Detective James Crockett.’
A short synopsis issued by the studio reads:

When Officer Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg), now a teacher at the famous Police Academy takes his rambunctious and hilarious misfit students on a field trip to Miami, he was hoping for a week of bikini clad fun, but instead he ended up gatecrashing Detective Crockett’s (TV’s Don Johnson) toughest assignment yet. And when a bunch of Chinese  North Korean terrorists kidnap Crockett it is up to Mahoney and the gang of surprisingly old students to rescue him and foil a plot to blow up something inexpensive.

Johnson said he was delighted to be working with the director of Midnight Express on such potentially award worthy material and Gu
ttenberg said he was delighted to be working. Guttenberg expanded:


When I first heard about the project I thought oh no. Because I had turned down the original Miami Police Academy movie thinking basically I’d done four and it was time to get into some serious acting. Little did I know of the wasteland that my career was to become.   

Parker revealed also that he wanted Philip Michael Thomas to return as Tubbs, Crockett’s erstwhile partner, but the actor turned down the role citing scheduling problems with his infomercial commitments. 

Police Academy: Assignment Miami Vice will be released in 2017.

THE MACHETE KILLS RETIREMENT HOME

Robert Rodriguez has announced plans to use all money from his umpteenth action movie pastiche Machete Kills to build a retirement home for otherwise unemployable ‘actors’. If the tired irony of the first film wasn’t enough in giving a late career boost to the likes of Danny Trejo, Don Johnson and Steven Seagal, the latest chapter dishes career hall passes to Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen, as well as ‘it doesn’t matter if they can act’ roles to Jessica Alba and Lady Gaga, and – most surprising of all – El Blocco of Woodo, Antonio Banderas.
The Predators director admitted that offering a service to actors he admired was all part of the rationale:

Look we have some tequila, boom boom, we black out and the next morning Kyle Ward comes round and gathers the napkins and types them up. So that’s the script.Then we pick up the National Enquirer and the casting process begins.

However, Lindsay Lohan revealed recently that Rodriguez’s motives aren’t as humanitarian as he makes out.

The fact of the matter is he preys on the carcasses of rotten fame. We get to do a role, we do the old wink-wink to our crimes and misdemeanours, we gain some credibility, but he pays us practically nothing. I did Machete for one choice of the Taco Bell lunch menu. I shit you not. I got cinnamon twists and a double decker taco. And I was billed for the twists.

The new Machete Kills Retirement Home for F*cked Up Actors will be built in Malibu entirely from recycled glossies. Rodriguez said, ‘It’s cheap and environmentally friendly’.