CANNONBALL RUN TO BE REMADE BECAUSE SOMEONE ON TWITTER SUGGESTED IT

HOLLYWOOD – Cannonball Run will be remade following a question on twitter.

Someone on Twitter today wondered if there was a remake of Cannonball Run on the cards and within minutes the idea was green lit. The Studio Exec was casually trolling through Twitter looking for more reasons to hate himself and his country when he came across the following tweet. 

No sooner had he read it than he was on a conference call with Burt Reynolds and the Dom Deluise estate. Rights secured, it was a matter of seconds before the talents of Ryan Reynolds and Kevin James were enlisted and the matter placed in the safe hands of director Michael Haneke.

The Cannonball Run will be released in 2018.

THE BURT REYNOLDS DIARIES: 4

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec has laid his grubby hands on the unpublished dairies of actor and heterosexual mustache wearer Burt Reynolds and we are going to publish and be damned.

March, 1984 

Blake Edwards comes over with a script called The Kansas City Laugh-a-thon, a bootleg comedy, he says. Would I be interested? I ask the question I always ask, mustache or no mustache? Definitely mustache, says Blake. okay, I say. But we’re going to have to change that title. 

April, 1984

Blake is over at the house again. I have a day of Cannonball Run 2 and Dom DeLuise has come over to hang out. The script is now called The Kansas City Hooo Haaaa. I’m still not sure about it. Who’s the second lead? I asked. Dom sat upright so quick he pulled a muscle. Roger Moore, says Blake. Dom practically whizzed around the room like a let go party balloon.

September, 1984

Filming begins on what we’re now calling Kansas City Heat Giggle Machine. Blake is a very hands on director, by which I mean he keeps touching me. He let me decide on a co-star and I picked my old pal Clint Eastwood. He can’t do comedy to save his life so I think I’ll be okay. Looking forward to filming the bar fight today. 

October, 1984 

Blake had to go. It was the titles. They were getting embarrassing. Clint stepped in and got Robert Benjamin hired. He also changed the titles. And he broke my jaw when he me in the face with a bar stool during the very first scene. I’ve been eating through a straw and I’ve lost of ton of weight. Everyone thinks I’ve got Aids. 

December, 1984

City Heat looks like it’s going to be a flop. What could possibly have gone wrong? We had a great story, me, Clint Eastwood, a good title. Luckily, the Cannonball Run 2 will pay the bills. Maybe was could do a trilogy!  

THE BURT REYNOLDS DIARIES: 3

Studio Exec has laid his grubby hands on the unpublished dairies of actor and heterosexual moustache wearer Burt Reynolds and we are going to publish and be damned.


October, 1980

I don’t know what is it about the onset of Autumn but my spirits definitely take a dip. I went for a moustache trim and even Elmore detected a slight droop. Luckily, Hal comes round with a script. I say script, it’s really a collection of napkins and beet mats. The Cannonball Run it’s called. I phone the costumers and they bring round their best Napoleonic uniform.

November, 1980
Turns out I should have paid more attention to Hal when he was talking. It’s going to be a Smokey and the Bandit kind of deal. Well, that worked so why not? There’s a role for Dom DeLuise and Roger Moore (?) I know.

February, 1981

Shooting seems to be going well. Except for the usual rough and tumble. Dom seems confused about his character. He keeps turning up dressed as ‘Captain Chaos’, but Hal just falls about laughing and tells me to go with it. 

March, 1981

We finished filming a week ago. But Hal says he still needs the blooper reel. Unbelievable. We have to make mistakes on purpose and crack up and everything. He’ll put it at the end of the film. It is by far the hardest part of the shoot. Dom is as a funny as a baby’s grave.