DISNEY SUES CHILD FOR BUILDING A SNOWMAN

LONDON – Social media was in uproar this morning after reports that Disney is suing a six year-old British girl for building a snowman in her garden.

Jessica Roberts was allegedly sent a letter by Disney’s legal department yesterday morning informing her she had breached Intellectual property laws by building a replica of Olaf, a prominent character in the billion dollar grossing movie Frozen and posting the picture on Instagram.

“She’s never even seen Frozen”, said Jessica’s distraught mother:

It’s just an ordinary snowman and any resemblance to a Disney character is purely coincidental.

Despite her denial, Michael Maus of The Law Society admitted that should the case ever reach the courtroom, there is a strong chance that Jessica would lose the legal battle:

What jury is going to believe that a six-year old girl hasn’t seen Frozen and even if she could prove it, chances are her parents would be charged with child neglect for not buying her the DVD for Christmas. If I was her lawyer, I’d suggest she break open her piggy bank and settle out of court.

Disney claimed they were unavailable for comment but it seems Jessica isn’t the only child to feel the wrath of the corporation. Eight year-old Timmy Smitts of Seattle was recently forced to part with his pet cat after Disney objected to the boy naming him Simba.

“It’s scarred him for life”, said Timmy’s father:

 We didn’t have the money to pay them so a Disney representative came around to the house, took Simba into the garden and bludgeoned him to death with the back of a spade right in front of little Timmy.

Asked if the incident spoiled Timmy’s love of Disney movies, his father laughed:

Nah, he watches the Lion King about three times a week. Though now you mention it, he does cry all the way through it and not just at the sad bits.