HOLLYWOOD – The New York Times billed it as ‘the prize fight of the princesses’ with Naomi Watts starring as the late Princess of Wales in Diana and Nicole Kidman taking on actress turned royal Grace Kelly in Grace of Monaco.

But apparently the two actresses have put their differences aside and are planning a sequel to rival Batman Vs. Superman: Princess Diana of Monaco.

‘The idea is that these two people exist in the same “Royal Universe” where the same suspension of disbelief and fantastic rules apply,’ said Tom Hooper, the director. He continued, dribbling only slightly:

So the common folk slavishly adore these people who have gained what they have gained merely by marrying very rich men who have gained what they gained merely by fortuitously exiting the correct royal vagina. Of course, in the real world this wouldn’t make sense but here we’re dealing with the height of fictional fantasy. 

Naomi Watts commented that ‘There are many similarities in the stories of these women and I’m not just talking about them dying in car crashes.’ ‘They both died in car crashes,’ added Nicole Kidman. ‘That IS really important.’

Princess Diana of Monaco will be released some time in 2014. 


WINDSOR – The new film charting the life of Princess Diana – called simply Diana – and starring Naomi Watts, has come under a barrage of criticism for ‘distorting the facts and rewriting history,’ from seasoned Royal Watcher and Suede front man Brett Anderson.
Anderson, speaking exclusively to French cultural magazine Chapeau, tore into the film claiming that many incidents in the People’s Princess’s life have been distorted, exaggerated or simply invented. 

I managed to read a script that was leaked onto the internet and at first I didn’t believe it, but then I saw the trailer and it confirmed my worst fears. In the film Diana runs everywhere. She runs down the street, through fields, on the beach. You do see her get into a car once or twice but then she gets out again before it goes anywhere. Also in the film she’s a doctor and spies for the CIA, two facts that are highly contested. There’s also a scene in which she meet Nicole Kidman and spends twenty five minutes telling Nicole Kidman that she’s a rubbish actress. I know for a fact that Princess Diana quite liked Nicole Kidman, especially in BMX Bandits and Dead Calm

Anderson went on to claim that scenes of Diana playing ping pong had been excised from the story.

Diana was one of the most passionate advocates and partitioners of ping pong along with her husband Prince Charles. They would play for seven or eight hours straight and not even stop for meals. Their children would go hungry and once Princess Diana’s mother-in-law Helen Mirren had her crown knocked off by a ping pong ball hit with rather too much back spin by the heir to the throne. It was THIS incident which caused the estrangement between the royal couple and yet there is nothing about ping pong in the script or the trailer. 

Diana is released in September, 2013. Watch the trailer.