RYAN REYNOLDS IS EXHAUSTING

Hollywood – The Studio Exec can reveal an open letter signed by dozens of Hollywood’s top movie stars will be published in various trade publications stating that Ryan Reynolds is exhausting. The letter is seen as an attempt by friends and loved ones of the Canadian movie star to just ‘give it a rest every now and then’. Not only does the letter state Ryan Reynolds is exhausting to be around but his constant meta commentary and breaking of fourth walls that aren’t there in real life is growing very thin.

Ryan Reynolds Is Exhausting

The Studio Exec can reveal extracts of the heart-breaking letter; “Dear Ryan, Please know that what we say in this letter comes from a place of love and support. We don’t mean to undermine you or make you feel bad. We all want you to be happy. But you will not find happiness with constant narration of your life to an audience that simply isn’t there.”

Dick Jokes

“You are more than tiny dick jokes, large dick jokes and knowing glances to a camera that isn’t there. Please remember that Ryan Reynolds is not a part to play. He is a man, a talented and funny man that can exist and thrive outside of staged Instagram spats with Hugh Jackman.”

You’re Not Deadpool

“The continual meta-commentary was kinda fun for a while in Deadpool and most of Deadpool 2. But it’s not a blueprint for real life. Ordering food in a restaurant takes hours with all of your cheeky asides over your shoulder. Don’t make us rethink the merits of what they did with your character in Wolverine: X-Men Origins.”

You’re Hurting Others

“Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson appears to be going down the same road, having seen your schtick and thought, ‘Kerching!’ It’s only a matter of time before he starts breaking more and more fourth walls and flexing his eyebrows at us. Please Ryan, don’t let this happen.”

Red Notice, The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard and Free Guy are separate films… apparently.

BELA TARR SIGNS ON FOR DEADPOOL 2

BUDAPEST – Bela Tarr has signed on for Deadpool 2 after the original director Tim Miller bowed out because he was tired.

Distinguished Hungarian film director Bela Tarr will direct iconoclastic superhero movie Deadpool 2. He met with Studio Exec to talk EXCLUSIVELY about the film and his plans.

He met with Studio Exec to talk EXCLUSIVELY about the film and his plans. We asked how the director of the Werkmeister Harmonies, Satantango and The Turin Horse ended up directing the follow-up to the hit of the year, Deadpool:

They asked me if I wanted to direct Deadpool. I said yes. It starts with the word dead. I liked that.

Will you be maintaining Deadpool’s irreverent tone and humor? 

No.

Erm. Are you a fan of the comic books?

Comic books? Comic books are for children. Do I look like a child to you?

No. I suppose, just that Deadpool is based on a comic book. So I thought… How are you going to handle the action sequences? You haven’t really had much experience of action sequences.

No action sequences. Just long shots of Deadpool. He takes a horse to a well. But there’s no water in the well. The horse dies. Then Deadpool dies. The end. Three hours, twenty-five minutes.

Deadpool 2: Deadpool and the Dead Horse will be released in 2018.

 

PEE-WEE’S BIG HOLIDAY TO BE A HARD R

HOLLYWOOD – Pee-wee Herman’s new film Pee-wees Big Holiday will be rated ‘hard R’ following the success of Deadpool.

The new Pee-wee Herman film Pee-wee’s Big Holiday will be released in a hard R cut in an attempt to follow up the success of Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool. An executive for Netflix told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Pee-wee has always been one of those characters who appeals to kids but also has a very adult and savvy sense of humor so it’s actually quite easy to turn it into a more adult orientated comedy. And when we told Paul he actually seemed very relaxed about the concept. I mean he was into it, really.

How does this link to Deadpool?

I’m not sure it does except that Pee-wee is kind of a superhero and there’s obviously the comedy aspect. Actually even the idea of it being hard R doesn’t mean much, what with this being a Netflix show, but still the point is we’re trying. And if voices in the industry are anything to go by I have the feeling that we’re going to be seeing a slew of hard R rated films for no other reason than money.

Pee-wee’s Big Sex Holiday will be released later this year.

RYAN REYNOLDS RULES OUT DEADPOOL 2

HOLLYWOOD – Ryan Reynolds has today announced that there will not be a Deadpool 2, despite a stunning box office performance by the wise-cracking R-rated superhero last week.

‘No Deadpool 2,’ Ryan Reynolds pronounced clearly on Monday evening to a tired but lucid Studio Exec in the Studio Exec penthouse of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. No doubt fans will be baffled by this move but Reynolds seemed resolute and gave his reasoning in a way that made it seem that he had thought this out clearly.

What do people like about Deadpool? They like that it is refreshing and R-rated and original. Above all original. No one has done this kind of irreverent take on the superhero genre since Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2. There was Super as well, which was brilliant though not many people went to see it. And that one with Woody Harrelson which was pretty much the same idea. I mean if you think about it Guardians of the Galaxy and the first Avengers movie are essentially comedies disguised as Marvel movies. But none of that matters, what I was saying is no one has ever seen anything like Deadpool before. So there’s that. That is the thing that is so good about the film. So what am I going to do? Deadpool 2? NO! That would be BS. And everyone would see it for the chicken shit move it would be. We’re going to keep Deadpool as a unique and wonderful experience. We’re going to respect the integrity of the piece, instead of trying to milk it for dirty dollars, as the quality almost inevitably goes down.

Wow! That’s quite a…

Act of heroic artistic vision? Yes, I know. And I’m not going to pretend it’s going to be easy. I’m sure the studios will be trying to put a lot of pressure on me and the director but we’re solid. This is our decision. I’m only sorry that Stephen Lang is going to be disappointed. He’s a great actor and I’d have loved to have worked with him. Maybe we’ll find something else.

But this is also a sacrifice for you personally. I mean Deadpool is your breakout success. You should really think about doing something else with it.

Don’t worry about old Ryan Reynolds. He’s like a cat. And I don’t mean I can lick my own asshole. I mean I land on my feet all the time. Look at that time you said my eyes were too close together. Did I crumble? No. I went to Mexico and had illegal corrective surgery. As long as Nicolas Sparks is writing novels, I’ll be okay. Who knows? We might even do that Green Lantern sequel everyone has been begging me for.

Deadpool 2 will not be released in 2017.

JOSH TRANK SIGNS ON TO DIRECT GREEN LANTERN 2

HOLLYWOOD – Following the remarkable success of Fox’s Fantastic Four, talented wunderkind Josh Trank has been signed on to direct Green Lantern 2.

The 2011 DC Comic film Green Lantern starred Ryan Reynolds and was directed by Martin Campbell, receiving universal critical acclaim and becoming a box office smash. Talk of a sequel began immediately, but partly because of Ryan Reynolds having scheduling issues and partly due to script issues the sequel seemed to be in an endless delay.

A Warner Bros insider spoke to Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The problem with the Green Lantern was that the original was so good everyone was intimidated. Martin wasn’t interested in coming back. As far as he was concerned, he’d hit a home run so why try again and risk only spoiling his record. Ryan has gone on to Deadpool off the back of his iconic success in the film. But when we all watched the new Fantastic Four we realized that at last here was a director who could do justice to this amazing character.

But surely everyone is saying that Fantastic Four is a disaster?

A disaster. It’s the Fantastic Four for crying out loud. Okay, we all have doubts about this kind of move. When we first saw Chronicle, we thought this guy is out there. Totally not a fit for Green Lantern. But when we saw Fantastic Four it was like someone turned on the lights. Yes. This is it. This is the Green Lantern 2 director.

Ryan Reynolds is unconfirmed as yet in the title role but rumors are that he will be on board.

Green Lantern 2 will be released in 2020.

DEADPOOL REMAKE WON’T FEATURE CLINT EASTWOOD CAMEO

HOLLYWOOD – Clint Eastwood today denied that he will be taking part in the remake of his 1988 film The Dead Pool, which has been re-titled Deadpool.

The news comes amidst months of online speculation that the veteran actor would make a sizable cameo in the new Deadpool, which stars Ryan Reynolds in the role of Inspector ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan.

The 85 year old actor told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I didn’t even know they were remaking that film. Deadpool you say? Strange. Of all the Dirty Harry films, that’s probably the weakest. I thought they would have been better off remaking the first Dirty Harry, or perhaps Magnum Force. What with all the police shootings and everything Magnum Force would be topical.

The original The Dead Pool featured Eastwood as Callahan and Inspector Quan investigating a series of murders based on horror director Liam Neeson’s Dead Pool, a betting list of who is going to die next. One of the victims includes a first big screen outing for ‘comedian’ Jim Carrey.

We spoke with star of the new film Ryan Reynolds about taking on one of the most iconic roles in American cinema.

I’m very happy to be a part of this. Deadpool is a great character and a real departure from the kind of comic book movie we’ve been seeing recently.

Will you be saying any of Callahan’s most famous lines? 

I’m sorry, Callahan? I don’t understand.

You know ‘Go ahead punk, make my day’ or ‘Do you feel lucky punk? Do you?’

Oh wait are you talking about Dirty Harry? No that’s totally different. I’m playing a Marvel comic book hero called Deadpool. It’s nothing to do with the 1988 Dirty Harry movie, the fifth installment I believe in the film series.

Will you be remaking other Dirty Harry movies in the near future?

No but it isn’t Dirty Harry. It’s a … Okay, yeah. We’re remaking Sudden Impact next.

Excellent. 

But we’re calling it Suddenimpact.

Deadpool will be released in 2016.