AL PACINO TO JOIN ROBERT DENIRO FOR DIRTY GRANDPA 2

HOLLYWOOD – Veteran Hollywood actor Al Pacino is to join Robert de Niro for Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas according to a statement issued today.

Al Pacino and Robert de Niro have teamed up in the past: the generational drama of The Godfather Part 2 and the diner confrontation in Heat being particular highlights. However, they are set to break box office records with their new comic pairing Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas.

Al Pacino popped into the Studio Exec Jacuzzi Spa last night to give us the gist:

Any chance I get to work with Bob, I take it. I’ve always admired his work and our careers have taken some might say parallel paths, only occasionally meeting.  When I saw Dirty Grandpa, I shouted ‘Whoa! Whoa! Hoo-har!’ because this was something I hadn’t seen for a while. Genuinely breaking new ground. People say Bob is sliding downhill, but it isn’t true, he’s looking around him at the culture and he’s making what he sees as the keystone of the culture. In the seventies that was Taxi Driver and Godfather Part 2, in the eighties it was Once Upon a Time in America and Raging Bull and now for the millennials he’s making Dirty Grandpa. If you don’t like it, don’t blame Bob. He’s just following the zeitgeist. As indeed am I.

Will you be joining him also in some David O. Russell films?

Please! Do I look absolutely desperate?

Zac Efron will also reprise his role as Jim, or Jason or whoever; and Dan Mazer will return to direct. John Phillips will once more be writing the ‘script’.

Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

JOY – REVIEW

JOY – REVIEW: Katniss Everdeen invents a mop.

Jennifer Lawrence stars as Katniss ‘Joy’ Everdeen. She lives in a Roald Dahl household with her mother in bed watching soap operas, her dad Robert de Niro in the basement with her ex-husband following his latest breakup, and her grandmother and daughter. Everyone is a bit rubbish and eccentric for about the first half hour to show us how wonderful Joy is. Everything in this film is manipulative and obvious and inept. Her name is Joy and her situation initially not so happy, so most of us pick up the irony but O. Russell has to have someone say ‘You’re name is Joy? well, you’re not very joyful today!’ on the only day she ever goes to work  in the movie! Joy invents a mop in one of those Newtonian moments of Eureka! and she scrawls an idea – imagine Mozart in Amadeus writing the Requiem but via the Hudsucker Proxy – in crayon. Her invention and her drive is everything and we’re supposed to root for her like this is some amazing thing – a miracle mop. It’s a f*cking mop. We’re meant to be bowled over by the ordinariness that the film maker is deigning to portray as if it were up there with the painting of the Sistine Chapel. When Joy gets her big break to sell her invention on QVC – a TV channel designed to separate the lonely, gullible and immobile from their money – it’s filmed as some kind of symphonic coming together of all that is good and right about America – capitalism, guts and verve! O. Russell films it like Oliver Stone would film the first Doors concert, with Bradley Cooper Svengali-ing from the sidelines. What most of us would dismiss as banal, trash, O. Russell wants us to reconsider from a perspective of empowerment and … I can’t be bothered. It’s a f*cking mop.

Despite selling hundreds of thousands of mops, her family are a bunch of dumb asses and Joy is none too savvy in the business line, always calling the lawyers a few days to late and reading the contract only after she’s signed it, so there’s a whole bunch of stuff about patents and problems with the suppliers which is exactly as boring as it sounds. Although O. Russell does give us a shot of her firing a gun so he can use it in the trailer (and for no other reason). O. Russell does this all the time. The effect is more important than the story and so he throws them at us. The tricksy narrative, the dream sequences, the loud characters that look like Whose Line is it Anyway contestants doing ‘Ordinary’, everything, anything to get away from the fact that this is an incredibly uninteresting story. And it’s inept. When Joy’s sister returns from California at the same time as a funeral (why?), at the same time that her father is expositioning Joy at the funeral that her sister is coming back from California and what she did there, her sister parks at the cemetery, takes her suitcase out of the car and carries the suitcase through the cemetery so we can remember (via the suitcase) that she’s been on a trip to California – with a suitcase. It’s the dumbest visual story telling ever. As Robert de Niro tells us what the suitcase is about. What the f*ck? It’s about a mop. Everything’s about a mop. And money. And who gives a shit.

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DAVID O. RUSSELL RECASTS THE FIGHTER

HOLLYWOOD – In his continuing effort to tinker with his back catalog, David O. Russell is this week to release a digitally recast version of The Fighter.

The new version of The Fighter will feature Robert deNiro, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence will play the part of Amy Adams, Robert deNiro that of Mark Wahlberg and Bradley Cooper will take on the role of the brother which won Christian Bale a much deserved Oscar. As previously reported, David O. Russell has already produced a critically acclaimed digitally recast version of Three Kings, which caused the New Yorker’s Anthony Lane to write cogently:

It’s like watching a George Clooney film, but with Bradley Cooper in it.

However, O. Russell is getting some blow back, specifically from his old actors who feel they have been unfairly replaced. Christian Bale screamed hoarsely down the phone to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

 Oh yeah, well done! Recast me, get Bradley f*cking Cooper to play my part! You piece of sh*t. I’m a f*cking professional you f*cking nonce. I sh*t f*cks like you every f*cking day of the week. You globular arseh*le. And another thing don’t you *ucking dare th*nk about t*uching my fucking p*nts.

The Fighter Redux will be released this week.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

DAVID O. RUSSELL DIGITALLY RECASTS THREE KINGS

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of American Hustle and The Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell has announced that he is to digitally recast his old movies, beginning with Three Kings, with Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence and Robert deNiro.

Three Kings is expected to be only the first of several of Russell’s older works to get the treatment:

Spanking the Monkey and I Heart Huckabees are both films that I would love to see Bob, Bradley and Jen be a part of. They’re such great actors and now that I’ve got them digitally, who wouldn’t want them in your movie?

How did you get them digitally?

It’s a very technical process, but basically you just film them saying all the sounds in the phonetic alphabet and going through a routine of gestures and facial expressions. Was a time it would’ve taken years, but now we can do it in about half an hour. Jennifer Lawrence took seven minutes.

What about the ethics of replacing actors who have performed for you?

Oh, that isn’t a worry. They were paid for their work and if you want to see George Clooney in Three Kings, there’ll be old DVDs knocking around somewhere. But in this version it’s fresh faced Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence instead of Mark Wahlberg. How can you possibly object to that? Plus to create continuity I’m also going to do the Fighter with Jennifer taking over Wahlberg’s role and Bradley Cooper as Christian Bale’s part.

Three Kings: Redux will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

AMERICAN HUSTLE: REVIEW

AMERICAN HUSTLE: REVIEWS – Christian Bale is FAT Robert de NiroBradley Cooper is Mean Streets Robert de Niro, Amy Adams is hot English female Robert de Niro and David O. Russell is Martin Scorsese in American Hustle.

Although set in recognizable Goodfellas territory, Russell’s crime caper is actually a hugely enjoyable romp with none of Scorsese’s dark anguish. The music, the costumes, the hair and the hair pieces are turned to eleven. The ensemble cast (including yet another out of the park performance by Jennifer Lawrence and an against type Jeremy Renner) are given freedom to quirk up their characters and bounce off each other. Hustle is jam packed with ‘nailed-it’ cameos (comedian Louis C.K. is particularly good) and moments of eccentric fun. If there’s one criticism, it’s that Russell is so intent on making his maverick cops, corrupt politicians and con (wo)men loveable, that the film becomes not only un-edgy but positively squishy. That said it’s sexy and witty and well done.