HBO’S CONFEDERATE: ‘NOT THAT BIG A DEAL’

HOLLYWOOD – HBO’s new TV show Confederate is ‘actually not that big a deal’, according to everyone now.

Initially, Confederate the alternate history show by Game of Thrones creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss is no longer a priority to be upset about. The drama shows a present day America in which the Civil War was not won by the North and the confederate states still exist.

Activist Journey Plank spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

Initially, I was really upset at the idea. These white guys are writing this show including depictions of slavery. I just didn’t think they’d proved themselves in anyway competent to deal with the various sensitive racial issues that this would inevitably bring up. But since we have a White Supremicist in the White House. Also torch lit rallies, the KKK unhooding and actual Nazis walking the street, I guess it’s slipped down my list of priorities.

Insiders from the show are actually talking about how real life events are slowly changing the show’s concept.

One source told Studio Exec:

We were actually thinking that the Civil War really didn’t end the way we think it ended. Generally speaking countries don’t tend to have statues to enemy generals who lost the war. It is an example perhaps of American Exceptionalism which we could do with rethinking.

Confederate will be broadcast shortly after the outbreak of the second American Civil War.

 

GAME OF THRONES WRITERS FLOWN TO UK TO REWRITE REFERENDUM

LONDON – The team that brought you Game of Thrones are being flown into Great Britain in an attempt to rewrite the EU referendum as the country slides into chaos.

Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are flying to the UK by the British Government in a last ditch effort to rewrite the last five days of UK storyline. David Cameron announced the decision this morning, having watched the last episode of Season 6 of Game of Thrones.

I got the idea after having watched the episode and thinking how good it was to see Jon Snow alive again. In fact, the boys have done a magnificent job of putting their heroes in some terrible predicaments and then at the last minute getting them out of their scrapes. I don’t know what they will suggest: it could be a red wedding or the birth of dragons, but frankly anything is better than letting the Tory Hordor, Boris Johnson loose.

The move was welcomed by many in the country who have come to regret their voting to leave the EU and many in Europe have called on Brussels to slow the process while it is seen what the Game of Thrones writers come up with. Leader of UKIP Nigel Farage said that the move was without precedent and unpatriotic. He, however, did say that he would support a move to get George RR Martin involved:

He would come up with a plot where all your favorite people are killed and as I’m not anyone’s favorite, I think I’d be pretty safe.

However, it was revealed that George RR Martin was already in London writing the script for the Labour Party.

More news as it comes in.

HODOR SPIN OFF MOVIE GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – A spin off movie of the popular Game of Thrones character Hodor is to be made into a separate movie, HBO revealed today.

Everyone’s favorite mono-word character Hodor is to get his own spin off film HBO announced today. The movie will star Kristian Nair and is currently being written by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss in conjunction with George RR Martin.

The big friendly giant will have his own story which is set before they events that being season one of the television series but will not feature him as a youth.

George RR Martin took time out from not finishing the latest book to talk EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec:

We did think about making a version of the story where we would go back to when he was called Wyllis. I even toyed with a Different Strokes situation. He would always be getting into trouble with the Starks and Jon Snow. It was very funny, but ultimately we just realized there wasn’t enough story there and so we decided to go back to the idea of what makes Hodor great and that’s basically Hodor.

So what is the story?

I can give you a twist that I hope the guys don’t mind me telling. We were obviously worried that the main character just has one word for the whole film to repeat. That’s okay for TV where you have lots of other characters but we thought it might not be enough for the movie. So we came up with this idea that Hodor is only saying Hodor whenever the Starks are in earshot. Aside from that he speaks normally with a slight Oxford accent. This is really funny. It gets him out of so much trouble. The only problem is Kristian is having real difficulty learning his lines. So there’s a chance we might just go back to him saying Hodor all the time. David Mamet did a first draft for us two years ago so we’d just go back to that one.

Hodor: The Motion Picture will be released in 2018.

 Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

FIRST LOOK AT JON SNOW IN GAME OF THRONES

WESTEROS – HBO has released the first picture of Jon Snow in the new season of Game of Thrones.

Season 6 of Game of Thrones is due for April next year but already the first picture of Jon Snow has leaked EXCLUSIVELY onto the Studio Exec. Actor Kit Harrington also popped down the Studio Exec Keep to discuss his new role and explain what is going on after the shocking conclusion of the last season, which seemed to show Jon Snow being [SPOILER] killed to death.

So Kit what the frick is going on?

Initially everyone who has read the novels knows what happens to Jon Snow and so the producers and writers wanted to carry on the story. They have changed some things but they don’t want to go to far away from George RR Martin’s vision. But the reactions of the fans was unbelievable and I think they began to get cold feet.

So is it fair to say that you are back among the living?

Well, there was the idea that I could be recruited into the army of the White Walkers, but I don’t think that would really work and it wasn’t what my fans wanted to see so they decided that what would happen is they would do… well you know when you break a phone.

You reset to factory settings.

Exactly. What we would do is make part of the show leading up to the climax part of a dream and then I would be in the shower and I would be alive.

That’s amazing. So how far back can we expect to go? Just part of that episode?

That was the original idea but then we got really ambitious because you know, think of the possibilities. And so David Benioff was like there were firecrackers going off behind his eyes. And I said, ‘we’re just going back one episode right?’ And so guess what he said? It was so clever.

You know nothing Jon Snow. 

He said, ‘You…’ oh yeah that’s what he said. So he wanted to go further back basically.

So the season was a whole dream?

I can’t say much. But what I can say is that Sean Bean will be back.

For more on Game of Thrones CLICK HERE!

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 5: REVIEW

REVIEW – GAME OF THRONES SEASON 5 – So the 5th season of Game of Thrones has [SPOILER] finished, but what did the Studio Exec think? Read this comprehensive review of the fantasy show that has taken Westeros by storm [WARNING: There be SPOILERS ahead].

It has been the way with Game of Thrones in the past to finish one episode short – with a great twist, or some horrorshow violence – and have the season finale basically be an epilogue. Remember how in Season One Ned Stark was killed in the penultimate episode?

Season 5 did things a little differently. To begin with the first part of the season was a bit dull. This isn’t necessarily the fault of the show. The narrative has no direction in the books either. Lord of the Rings  has a really direction to it. To Mordor and then back again. Likewise the Hobbit: To the Misty Mountain and then back again (although watching Peter Jackson’s The Hobbits… well anyway.) Game of Thrones by contrast has a whimsical arbitrariness. No one is going anywhere much or they’re taking a long time getting there. Daenerys seems to have spent the last couple of seasons being taught Civic Administration in Meereen; Arya Stark is stuck with the God of the Third Person, whose deadly enemy is correct grammar; Stannis and Jon Snow are at the Wall. When Jaime Lannister goes on an excursion to Dorne, it feels like an episode of On the Buses where they all go to Spain for some reason. Jaime gets something to do in a visually different location and although it pays of in the end, it’s a long way to go for something happening to someone we don’t really know.

At its worst, showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss can be guilty of a lot of pottering about and then jamming in two or three great WTF moments near the end.  However, this season closed strongly with the last three episode offering some fantastically way out scenes. The finale of Hardhome has already become a classic show defining moment and the end of Dance of Dragons was a good topper, finally giving Daenerys and us a cathartic escape from the drudgery of ruling a city we really don’t care much about.

There is sometimes a danger that the show is now beginning to drown in its need for the epic. Why Daenerys needs to be caught by a million Dothraki and not just twenty makes the scene vaguely daft. However, that scale worked perfectly with Cersei and her Walk of Atonement. I couldn’t help wonder if this scene wasn’t a bit meta, considering the careful misogyny of the show. A woman might use sex but when it comes down to it she is trapped by her need to maintain her reputation and her sexuality and body can be used to bring shame on her. Nudity as a form of punishment to demean a powerful woman? No wonder some female cast members began to demand less flesh in their scenes. The scene effectively sets up the motivation for Season 6’s annihilation of King’s Landing (I’m guessing).

The Starks have not been fortunate. Arya finally refers to herself in the first person and must be punished and Sansa and Reek jumping off the wall was a silly way to escape, but Sansa can continue her wandering. Maybe Brian of Tarth will help her, or Little Penis, or her Walking Dead mother.

Worst to come was Jon Snow. I thought this scene was brilliant actually. It was quick and underplayed and brutal. And totally in line with George RR Martin’s anti-hero methodology. The heroic, the honest and the decent simply don’t survive long in Westeros. Jon Snow’s continued survival was always going to beggar belief somewhat and the show creators were careful to show that he was marginalized all the way through, becoming Lord Commander by only one vote (and not the popular mandate of the novel).

One problem with this removal of popular characters is compounded by a bigger problem. The misogyny of the show has been mentioned and debated time and again, but here’s a thing: what about the misanthropy? The crowd during Cersei’s walk of shame is a good example. The ‘people’, the crowd, the mob, are seen almost constantly as venal, despicable, easily swayed, violent and untrustworthy. The whole population of Westeros are a bunch of bastards who can’t wait to spit at you or jiggle their man bits in your face (and not in a nice way). The most heinous act – burning your daughter alive for instance – is met by no act of disobedience so great as looking a little put out, and then sneaking off later. There is no goodness in the heart of man and the only thing that you can truly rely on is betrayal.

So the question must be, given the moral turpitude, if not outright active immorality of EVERYONE south of the wall: Are the White Walkers now the true heroes of Game of Thrones? 

For more on Game of Thrones CLICK HERE!