SUICIDE SQUAD 2 SCRIPT LEAKS ONLINE

HOLLYWOOD – The script for the sequel to David Ayers’ Suicide Squad – Suicide Squad 2 – has leaked online.

Read this EXCLUSIVE extract from the much anticipated comic book move Suicide Squad 2.

INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

Amanda WALLER briefs the MINISTER from a thick file as they sit in a restaurant.

WALLER

The first one is Harley Quinn. She’s the one they call Harlequin. Also known as Harl E. Quin.

MINISTER

Looks crazy.

WALLER

She is crazy. They call her Harley Quinn.

MINISTER

You said that already.

WALLER

I’ll provide a graphic as well I think. 

Graphic introduces Harley Quin, zippy and youthful. With colors.

The Waiter approaches the table. 

WAITER

Are you ready to order?

WALLER

This is the Waiter. He is the one who brings food to your table.

He usually gets it right but sometimes if he’s carrying too much

he’ll accidentally put his thumb in your food. They call him Malcolm.

Graphic introduces Malcolm the waiter. 

INT. PRISON CELL. NIGHT.

Harley QUINN is taking a shower in warm cream wearing a ZANY smile. Prison guards surround the cage. It’s not entirely clear but some of them seem to be jerking off.

HARLEY QUINN

I’m a bad girl! Hee hee! Kind of like a feminist but with a push up bra and no pants!

PRISON GUARD

She’s gorgeous and somehow reminds me of my 13 year old daughter. Which is NOT weird. 

INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

WALLER

This is Deadshot. As a marksman He’s a deadshot. I guess that’s how he got his name.

EXT. FIRING RANGE. DAY.

Deadshot is given a massive array of firearms while an infographic at the bottom of the screen gives the phone number of the local branch of the NRA.

DEADSHOT

I have just a big erection right now.

DEADSHOT shoots all the the targets in the head, in the face, in the genitalia. He fires off all the fingers of the hand of a target, clips of ears and draws smiles on the faces with bullet holes.  

DEADSHOT

What’s the mission?

WALLER

There’s been another mass shooting in a school. We need you to find the mass shooter and shoot them.

DEADSHOT

How postmodern!

FINIS

 

SUICIDE SQUAD DIRECTOR SAYS HE NEVER READS REVIEWS AFTER READING REVIEWS

HOLLYWOOD – David Ayer the director of DC Comics Suicide Squad said today that he never reads reviews.

Talking from his apartment filled with cuttings from all the trades and print outs of all the internet reviews, David Ayer said he never reads reviews and anyway he doesn’t care what the critics say. He asserted that he doesn’t make movies for the critics, he makes them for the fans.

I don’t care what they say. I mean what do critics know about films anyway. They’re the same critics who took a shit on Mall Cop 2 and Jersey Girl which are now being hailed modern classics. Actually the reviews for Suicide Squad might be really good. I don’t know because I don’t read them. Never have. I make it for the fans.

What if the fans don’t like the film?

Then I’ll make films for the magical people who live in my head.

Suicide Squad stars Will Smith, Margot Robbie and Jared Leto as the Joker.

JACK NICHOLSON TO RETURN AS THE JOKER

GOTHAM – Jack Nicholson is set to reprise his iconic performance as the Joker in the new DC Comics film Suicide Squad.

News broke over Gotham late last night, putting paid to the notion that Jay Leno and Jared Leto had both been approached about the role, simply because they had the same initials.

David Ayers, the director of the super villains team movie said that he was  delighted to have Jack Nicholson on board:

Nicholson is, was and will be a great Joker. This is going to make things really interesting, because he will bring with him the memories of the Tim Burton Batman films, but at the same time, now he’s a little longer in the tooth, there’s also the sense that this is a maturer Joker, a Joker who has perhaps learned a few lessons, a Joker who… Who am I kidding? This is Jack Nicholson, right? He’s going to be crazy!

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec, Jack Nicholson explained his thinking behind his decision:

At first I didn’t want to play the same part. I thought Heath Ledger did a splendid job, truly splendid. But then when David came and showed me the script, I thought this is truly wonderful. But still I can’t do it, I’m too old for this. Then I called Jennifer Lawrence and she said she loved comic book movies and next day I was in costume.

Suicide Squad will be released in 2016.

SAMUEL L. JACKSON BLASTS FURY

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers star Samuel L. Jackson has criticized David Ayer’s new film Fury after all his scenes were cut from the World War 2 tank warfare drama.

The Pulp Fiction star seethed EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I was on for this film so much. But David Ayer and Brad Pitt showed me zero respect. No one even sent me the script! I had to get a motherf*cking script myself from a Goddamned website. And when I read it, I couldn’t even find my part. I got that it was time travel thing. That was groovy. Captain America shit, I thought, okay, I’m down with that. But where am I?

So what did you do?

I just wrote myself into it.

You wrote your own part?

In felt tip pen motherf*cker! Absolutely. I wrote all my speeches, bits where I get like badass angry and righteous. It was all amazing. I mean I can do this shit in my sleep. Then I turned up on location and just got into it. Brad and Shia and all those guys were all in costume and they were like really surprised to see me. But I paid them no mind – they were just trying to throw me – and I got on with my scene. Nailing it. Again and again.

Are you sure you were supposed to be in the movie?

Of course, I was in the movie. I was the Goddamned star of the movie. Anyone try grappling with me I’d knock them over with a Goddamned glare. Everyone came round to my way of thinking soon enough. David would do some takes with me in them, told me to do what I want. Then he told me, for an exercise, they’d do some scenes without me as well. I didn’t see the point but the guy’s young so I said like whatever. I’ll be in my trailer. I go so the motherf*cking movie last Tuesday and I’m nowhere to be seen. That asshole took me out completely. I’d been Adrien Brody-ed!

Fury is on general release.

LAPD START FILMING EVERYTHING TO MAKE END OF WATCH MORE REALISTIC

LOS ANGELES -The LAPD have started to use cameras to film incidents in an attempt to retrospectively make End of Watch more realistic.

For many in the law enforcement community the need for cameras has been expressed for many years but on the release of the 2012 David Ayer film the call to tool up the police force with high definition video recording equipment became unignorable. 

The Rialto police department have been using the head mounted equipment for months now and say that they’ve already made Jake Gyllenhaal a much more credible police officer by about 88%. Sheriff Hannety said: 

People in Rialto are streaming End of Watch and going ‘You know that really could happen’. I only wish the same was true for New York City and Chicago. 

Following the success of the Rialto Police experiment, LAPD officers are ready to deploy cameras with all units. A spokesperson said: ‘The effect on crime fighting will be approximately nil, but Michael Pena will sleep better in his bed knowing that his character now has a firmer footing in reality.’

End of Watch is available and still will be in 2015.